Sesiapa yang terasa, no harm intended ah. I shall save the day by posting something.
Things About Fat People That Skinny People Don't Know!
1. FAT PEOPLE CAN BREAKDANCE HELLA GOOD. You don't know because we only do it around other fat people, but you have not lived 'til you've been to a fat dance party!
2. FAT PEOPLE ARE INDESTRUCTIBLE. The fat, in essence, acts as padding. We're keeping it secret for right now, but someday we're going to rise up, unite, and put you Skinny bitches in your place in a conflict that we have titled Fat War One or World War Fat (the exact name is yet to be determined).
3. FAT PEOPLE CAN LEVITATE. Just cause we're heavy doesn't mean we can't float. Ever notice how you never see fat people taking the elevator?
4. FAT PEOPLE CAUSE HURRICANES. We all get together and run in a clockwise direction, then in a counter-clockwise direction.
5. OUR NATIONAL FLOWER: The Cake.
6. OUR NATIONAL BIRD: Fried Chicken.
7. DO NOT CHALLENGE A FAT PERSON. Especially DO NOT CHALLENGE a fat person if there is a candy prize involved.
8. FAT PEOPLE DON'T CRAP! All the materials you Skinnies waste as feces, we efficiently recycle as lard.
9. FAT PEOPLE ARE FASTER THAN CHEETAHS.
10. FAT PEOPLE DON'T WEAR SHOES. We just spray paint our feet so we can get into restaurants.
11. ALL FAT PEOPLE ARE ALCOHOLICS. But not in a bad way.
12. FAT PEOPLE DON'T SLEEP IN BEDS. We sleep on huge sticks of butter.
13. FAT PEOPLE NEVER ACTUALLY EAT. It's a common misconception.
14. MAHATMA GHANDI WEIGHED 600 POUNDS. We know, we were there. Which brings us to our next point...
15. FAT PEOPLE LIVE FOREVER.
16. FAT WOMEN HATE THE UBIQUITOUS "CHUBBY CHASER". He is a harasser, and always at least two feet shorter than she is.
17. FAT PEOPLE LOVE BABIES. Especially deep fried.
18. OUR FAVORITE SKINNY PERSON IS: Fuck you, we don't like any skinny people.
19. MAKE NO MISTAKE: Hitler was never fat.
20. FAT PEOPLE OFTEN WONDER IF PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKE THEM OR IF THEY ONLY LOVE THEM FOR THEIR FAT.
21. FAT PEOPLE DON'T PROCREATE, THEY DIVIDE. We do however have a lot of sex...for pleasure and sport.
22. THE INTERNATIONAL FAT CONFERENCE IS HELD ON JANUARY 26 OF EACH YEAR. It's held in the sky...we all levitate up really high...I mean where else would we fit? We decide the events of the upcoming year, such as whether you Skinnies get Christmas (Don't forget Santa is a very fat man).
23. SOME OF THE ONLY THINGS FAT PEOPLE HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH:
.......a. Fix the Oscars (Why do you think Gwyneth Paltrow won?)
.......b. Telekinesis (So we don't have to move. Ever.)
.......c. Time travel.
.......d. Infiltrate Hollywood...at all.
24. FRANCE WAS ONCE A FATOPOLIS BUT IT WAS EXCOMMUNICATED IN THE MID 19TH CENTURY AND THUS THEY ARE ALLOWED NO FAT PEOPLE. (The Statue Of Liberty: way too skinny.)
25. FAT PEOPLE TAKE BATHS IN WASHING MACHINES!
26. A LIST OF THINGS INVENTED BY FAT PEOPLE:
a. Water.
b. The twelve-month calendar.
c. The telegraph (Samuel P. Morse was freaking enormous)
d. The Spanish language.
e. Van Gogh.
f. Hammer Pants (I know...Even we make mistakes.)
g. The popular situation comedy "Who's The Boss?" (Tony Danza is a skinny android
created by.the Fat Nation.)
h. We wrote the song "Respect" in 1692 but it didn't get made for 350 years because
of Skinny politics (they are skinny, but they are strong).
27. ALL FAT PEOPLE ARE FUNNY. It's simple genetics.
28. LITTLE FAT KIDS LEARN TO READ EARLIER THAN LITTLE SKINNY KIDS. And it's not just because they have no friends so they have to sit at home and read all the time.
29. BARRY WHITE: fat.
30. PUPPIES: fat by their very nature. And who doesn't love puppies?
31. WE OWN ALASKA, TEXAS, CALIFORNIA, AND THREE OF THE FOUR OCEANS.
32. OUR CAPITAL IS FATOPOLIS AND IS LOCATED SOMEWHERE IN THE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT. (We can't give everything away.)
33. FAT PEOPLE CAN RUN HELLA FAST. You just can't see us because it is SO fast. And if you see a fat person walking really slow, it's just because they are trying really hard to walk at a normal pace.
34. JESUS: THE FATTEST MAN TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. The crucifixion story as you know it is not exactly what happened. It was actually attempted twice because the cross broke the first time.
35. NAJIB : FAT AND BLACK. Nadawahh, I love you jibbits :D
WTF whoever that wrote this must be some stereoptypical bitch. Its not the outside that counts wah, its the inside. I love fat people, i find them cute. And besides, fat people are harder to kidnap.
the awesomest guy,
eric<3
