Bandar Seri Begawan 31 MAY - The countdown has started. Dato Ian's full recovery to the courts will take place in less than a month. After almost a year's absence, his legs have turned into stiff sticks. His legs have large Young Modulus.

Thursday, 5/6/08 marks his return to the squash courts. He will only be taking part in practice drills but expects a huge crowd to gather to witness his awesome skills. He hopes to beat Najmi in 1 on 1.

It's been a long awaited return for the former MS no.1 squash player. Crowds eagerly line up by ticket stands from Subuh to Isyak in attempts of purchasing tickets for watch dato's first practice match. Sources say that main sponsors of the match are Nike and Mufakat are delighted with outcome of their sponsorship for the great dato.

'Only 1 in a billion people are like the great dato' says Nike owner Adidas bin Puma.
'To have the package- looks, talent, butt, he didn't inherit that genetically. It was a definite gift from god.'

DAILY TIMES UICRUTIPAUN WORLD

warning!warning! ambuk terlepas dari dr.izzat and sidekick riza's laboratory.

After the attack on the FatTroop, sidekick riza feels that he should be the one to lead the team as of now since he feels he should. eh napaaaan. He's the one who gave all the idea of attacking the FatTroop at all the specific locations and he was also the one who gave the idea to attack using the bird's shit as the main weapon. Can u believe it? A bird's shit. He's so damn intelligent you fucking asshole.

But sidekick riza felt unsatisfied. Despite all the ideas he gave, his superior dr.izzat took all the credits. Dr.izzat's name went famous throughout the uicrutipaun-imaginary-world as the greatest and yet kacak-est villain of all. While his name was only mention as his sidekick which is a bit of penghinaan.Who?riza?who's that?ohhh..dr.izzat's sidekick. Isn't that a bit of penghinaan? No. It is more. Penghinaan, atasnya. Thus he planned to make a name for himself by experimenting on dr.izzat.

The report says it was around 2.11 am when dr.izzat was on his way to his friend's masturbate-room. This is when it started. Sidekick riza and co. captured him while his eyes were still close (tapi bejalan masih..jan nda CAYA!) and took him to the most prolific awesome great wonderful mamamia laboratory. bah adangtah, paham jua kamu kan ertinya lawa banar n great banar tah tu.

dr.I : what?who is dis?who captured me?manada ku panic ne.
S.R : Rileks dr~ im ur sidekick..im gonna be needing u for this experiment.jangan panic.
dr.I : bukan inda babal kau ani wang..nyangku inda ku panic.
S.R : awu..awu..aku babal masani..kau babal karang..wahahahaha
dr.I : bah chill tah ku saja ne.

and so..the experiment began. sidekick riza injected here and there all over dr.izzat awesome buff body. There was a couple of cuts and stitches here and there. His brain got removed and was replaced with ehsan's brain. No..i mean an ambuk brain. But nevertheless. sidekick riza inda sampai hati kan remove dr.izzat's kacak face so it remains there.

The experiment finished.

S.R : 10 + 10 + 10 + 10 brapa?
dr.I :ten ten ten ten
S.R :knock knock
dr.I : who's there?
S.R :knock knock
dr.I :who's there?
S.R :namaku knock knock wah..majal bukan inda babal..sudah nyangkuu..tadi buleh kau ucap aku babal..ani kau g babal..wuahahaha...pemas tah ku neee..pemasssss.

Soon after..While sidekick motherfucking riza was celebrating his success. Dr.Izzat went wild. Like a monkey..errrr..he jumped here and there ruining all the other experiments in the lab. Acids were thrown here and there. Ada acid tumpah arah si giant punya u noe what and the report says that he's going to do a surgery jadi bini-bini. Tables were flying, chairs were floating,computers were sinking. Enough said of the brutal inner war. After all the equipments was ruined by dr.Izzat. He went out of the lab. Breaking the wall sedangkan siringnya ada pintu and ran freely to the large space outside the building. With one roar "rawwwwwrrrr" the whole building breaks apart. Smua gugur..jatuh..batu bata abis bergelimpangan..nada urg peduli..ada ilang anak..ada yang bebalah dua..ada yang branak..kecian batu..And sidekick riza whereabouts were nowhere to be seen after that.

So now folks you know how brutal this monkey is. and he is now maybe going to your house. Please think about the safety of your family,wife,husband,mama,papa,mama tiri,papa tiri, mama beranak dari anak bapa kedua, amah, nini, datu, tua, amit, kaka, abang, kids, girlfriend (bah adangtah) or even scandals. If you ever found this dr.izzat-wrongly-experimented-as-a-monkey anywhere please teriak "ambukkkkkk"..ada kami datang tu..tungguuuuuu tah sajaaa..This is the picture:

WANTED



DEAD OR ALIVE

any resemblance?
eh salah..
can u spot the difference?
wawawa XD

sekian terima kasih,

mun inda cali diam2 saja ahh..mun mau kamu mmbuat post..

bah,
sign out,
away,
i211 sikacak,
gangster for lifee.

Christopher Teo Liang Boon's Anthem Song

Lyric by: Hafizpornomacho
Music by: Hafizpornomacho & Izzatkacak
Composer: Izzatkacak
Artist: UIC

Christopher Motherfucker~
Christopher Motherfucker~
Chris whattt??
MOTHERFUCKER!
Chris whattt?
MOTHERFUCKER!

Chorus: chrisgay..chris liar..chrisgay..chris liar..

Christopher Motherfucker~
Christopher Motherfucker~
Chris whattt??
MOTHERFUCKER!
Chris whattt?
MOTHERFUCKER!

Chorus: chrisgay..chris liar..chrisgay..chris liar..

till then..
Chris, u noe we love u.. ;)

sign out,
i211 sikacak,
gangster for lifee.

when i woke up this morning, the first thing that came to mind was playing SQUASH at 9 am. i went to the showers and got ready lah.. aku pikir aku ani awal sudah.. then my phone rang at 8.30, it was Izzat..

Izzat: oi mole, mana ko?
Najmi: ah? di rumah.. ko di mana?
Izzat: what the hell?!!! aku di squash centre sudah..!
Najmi: wawawa.. semanggat jua ko bui..
Izzat: laju eh, aku sorang saja di sini ni... takut ku bah~
Najmi: bah2, inda batah lagi ku datang ni..

tapi aku sengaja batah2 kan supaya ia seorang2 di sana.. wawawa XD..

then tepat pada pukul 9, saya pun tiba di squash centre.. kesian ku meliat si Izzat seorang2 main squash macam urang gila..

then kami pun main squash.. inda batah lapas atu si Yee Fah a.k.a Sampah pun datang..

ani tah gambar2 yang sampat di ambil... so enjoy tah...


iatah apa si Izzat buat ni, most of the time.. bemsg tah ganya.. ntah sama siapakah?


si Yee Fah dengan rambutnya yang rugged sudah..


aku inda jua mau ketinggalan kana gambar..


bukan kami 3 saja datang.. ada 2 orang gadis manis tadi datang jua, namely Sarah & Izzy..


bisdurang ani ganas jua main sampai si Izzy punya kasut lakap wah.. cuba liat banar2, mana si Izzy pakai kasut tu..

ani gambar ku masa lawan si Yee Fah (taken by Izzat):


gila, basar badan ku atu.. sampai almost inda lagi nampak wah si Yee Fah..


napa senget gambar ani?

aku ganas main tadi lah.. sampai tegugur2 bah.. nasib jua inda runtuh bagunan atu oleh ku tadi..

ani gambar2 si Yee Fah lawan si Izzat:





sampat lagi posing tu...






si Izzat "injured" tadi.. haha.. classic Izzat.. eksen tia kalau concede point..


Yee Fah tried to act concerned..

tadi, a miracle had happened.. aku KALAHKAN si Yee Fah 12 - 11.. inda kamu pecaya? aku pun inda pecaya.. wawawa XD..

WARNING: HEADBUTT ALERT!!!


tapi banar, aku kalahkan ia.. sampai ia marah brabis and ia tarus headbutt aku.. tapi i have to give credit to Yee Fah, ia banyak kali plang kalahkan aku..


ani lapas si Yee Fah kalahkan si Izzat.. Iatah si Izzat headbutt si Yee Fah.. tapi lain usul mua si Yee Fah ah, macam muka 'orgasm' tah plang..


ani kes sasak brabis ni.. aku kalah lawan ia so aku headbuttlah ia sampai ia terabang..

after that, semua orang pun balik.. meninggalkan aku seorang di sana..

sungguh malang nasib ku..

tapi siuk plang pagi tadi.. lain kali main lagi eh.. atu saja, ngaleh brabis ku ni.. bah CHOW..

najmi.friendly.giant

ps: jat, bula squash mu ada arah ku.. jadi hak milik ku tah tu...

Emo side of us
HAHA. who says girls vain in toilets?

Enjoying every moment of what they can in the toilet =D

You messed with us, homie? Take this _l_

Thats how UICs roll. Headbutt pictures are to be collected all first before showcasing to the public in the future =D. Diaries of '' UICs Headbutts ''.

K263.

Kwang

A woman went to her priest with a problem...

A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' "
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship."

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I Gonna Back to Italy

(Attention: This must be read with an Italian accent, preferably out loud.)
One day Ima gonna Malta to a bigga hotel. Ina morning I go to eat brekfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss. I tella her I want two piss. She says go to the toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better not not piss on plate you sonna ma bitch. Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone does. I tella her you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on table, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch. So I go to my room inna hotel, and there is no sheit. I call the manager and tella him I wanna a sheit. He tella me go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna sheit on my bed. He say you better not piss on bed you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me a sonna ma bitch. I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say: ''Peace unto you'' I say ''Piss unto you too ya, sonna ma bitch. I gonna back to Italy''

_____________________________________________________________________________________


n104

If you have one good friend
You are truly blessed
Friends are so hard to find
Friends with open hearts,
Open arms and open minds
They will stand by you
In good times and bad
You can sit and share stories
Of the times you have had
Good friends never judge you
They never look away
No matter what you do
Or what you have to say
Be honest with your friends
Open up to them
You may find they are not so different
From the way you are and have been
Cherish your friends keep them by you side
Forever you will always have a guide

Poem ani dedicated to all UIC's!!!!

n104

adang th buat poem,
cos i got no game,
baca poem kamu aku jealous,
i admit it i lost.

nah joke utk kamu nda plang cali...

suatu hari mak andeh mmembawa anaknya, ondeh makan di warung. ketika itu ondeh kecil lagi, baru tiga tahun. sewaktu sedang makan, tiba-tiba ondeh bercakap dengan kuat, "mak ondeh nak kencing!" Malu betul mak ondeh, satu warung dengar suara ondeh itu.

mak andeh terus menutup mulut ondeh. dia berbisik, "syyy... jangan cakap macam itu d tmpat org tgh makan, tak elok. lagi satu, klu nak kencing, jgn sebut kencing. Cakap, mak, ondeh nak 'bisik'. ingat tu klu nak kencing, ckp 'bisik"

ondeh mengangguk. balik dari warung, baru ondeh dpt pergi kencing.

esoknya pak pandir pula bwa ondeh pergi warung. sedang mereka makan, tiba tiba ondeh menjerit, "pak... ondeh nak 'bisik'!!" satu warung terkejut.

Pak pandir senyum. sambil menggosok-gosok kepala ondeh, pak pandir berkata kepada anknya itu, "bolleeeehh! haa, ondeh 'bisiklah' kat telinga bapak ni."

the end...

r28

p.s nanti th lagi

After a tiring day, I went home and made myself scrambled egg. I took out a fork, holding grip of it. My salivas are accumulating in my lower lip like a reservoir nearing overflow. My eyes turned big, bigger than my bum. I licked my upper lip with my tasty tongue. I was ready to eat the fried-thing-that-came-before-a-chicken-does. Apakan Jib, I know.

Then my nokia 3310 rang. I had to delay my eating time because of this. The email was as if saying ‘appetite, appetite, go away. Come back another day.’

I received an email from a FatTroop member. It was from hafizP aka babyFace aka theWomanizor aka the-not-fat-at-all-fat-troop-member.

The email read:

“dear Najib yang bida lawa,

Our base in Iraq has been attacked. Our Sausage Factory, Chocolate Syrup reservoir, Candy town was destroyed. And willy wonka got killed, too. Sugars are inadequate at the moment. We’re gonna be less diabetic and we’re not getting fatter. Not good Sir, not good.

For your information, Sir, we weren’t typically bombarded by nuclear bombs or whatever cliché weapons the Americans use, we were attacked by big yellow birds, kinda like the one in Sesame Street. They hovered above us and released a big splat of green acidic shits that’ll burn a whole mars bars in 0.304seconds.

With shit as big as those, It makes me wonder which is bigger, their asshole or your butt, Sir.

We believe that Dr.Izzat and his sidekick Riza are behind all these.

Why? Because..

1) They both have been testing animals, injecting them with their self-made fluid that’ll make an animal have superpowers.
2) Riza likes big bird.
3) Izzat likes birds, brown and hairy ones.
4) I just think they’re behind this.

They must be stopped, Sir. We FatTroop need to remain fat.
My suggestion; When the birds come again, we spray constipation gas into the air. The birds would be constipated and will eventually burst as the acidic waste accumulate in their body and harm themselves.

Remember our motto Sir,
“we fat, we phat and we know you like that”

Much love,
ApIzP3756875983908374”

It’s a serious matter, my troop’s fatness depends on me now. I gave the email a hard 2.57minutes thought. Then I slavishly ignored the email.

I ate my egg happily.

Im out,
siNajibGotEgged

ps; up yours

As you enter the canteen, you will always see these familiar faces,

fat, black dude with an ass to die for, the size of the globe.


tall, chinese dude, brother to a malay, emo fringe, wannabe malay.


medium-sized, malay dude, brother and father to a chinese, runs faster than my mom, wannabe chinese.

horny, black dude, with a spankable ass. so hot he makes all the girls drool, cracks everyone up with his horny jokes.


emotionless chinese dude, tries really hard to be funny and to laugh as well


hunk, malay dude, stronger than my mom, walk away when you see him

tall, malay dude, big friendly giant/ mole. nuff said.


Its a tiring day, i shall end my post with a poem.

hip, hip, hooray, i say,
i love you poison ivy,
you are awesome,
just like me.

awesomest,
Eric

hoho

Hari ini kasutku lakap,
Untuk kali keberapa membari malas kan becakap,
Masa ani aku betiarap,
Nah teingat tiaku c izzat tadi betarap.

Tomorrow morning im gonna have a test,
Because of that I cannot rest,
I need to study like im in a library,
but I forgot my notes, hehhh..
semangat udah macam setaie

sekarang aku seorang diri,
orang lain belajar, aku membuat puisi,
durang dapat markah tinggi ni saya pasti,
aku ganya sorang fail ni kana marahi.

Cikgu kami cikgu zamley,
Pelajaran stats ani inda ku pandai merati,
Aku bangang ani lagi duduk blakang skali,
Nasib baik jua ada kawan di kanan dan di kiri.

Ada masanya aku ketawa heehee,
Ada masanya aku tetidur,
Aku inda pandai subjek ani,
Iatah sudah tu, yang paling jujur.

Hari semakin gelap dan aku tak bermaya,
Kulitku jua, tapi apa kan daya.
Jangantah setaie kau kan ketawa,
Tau jua urang anu mu itam jua sama.
Sadarkanm diri, ceramin dulu mua.

Kaki ku masa ani blister,
Suatu hari ku kan di panggil mister,
Aku inda suka rambut Gary McAllister,
Mudahan nanti aku jadi minister.
Apakan jib.

Aku out of ideas,
siNajib.

Ps: you’re never fully dressed unless you smile.
Referring to the above statement, is Chris always naked?

pps: this post was supposed to be posted last night but procrastination came and we talked about beautiful nails

banyak-banyak feelings..feelings ani menyakitkan hati pulang...
p mun udah dtebalikkan dapat membawa kegembiraan...
membawa kekenyangan perut dan sebagainya...
apakah itu?

stresspunyapasttense...
stressed...
tebalikkan...
desserts...

wawawawa XD

guess me..
if u're lucky,
i can give u money,
jib shut up and just continue eating ur mee..

sorry jib lagging bh game mu ah arh ku huhuhuh

najib he's as black as a coffee,
when it comes to maths "mer minjam hw aku kan copy"
he likes to draw,
damn man he is in team qudro..
(jgn marah aaaahh hahaha)

don forget abul,
when he's mad he's more dangerous than an angry bull,
so guys,
be better be careful,

afiq the asphyxiated,
i called him asipicated,
its hard to pronounce at the first time,
his nickname is so damn complicated

izzat the silver claimer,
when he's hungry and broke,
to all uics he's a golddigger,
so just buy him a tin of coke

wafeeq, the problematic person,
he needs a psychiatrist not psychiatry lesson,
ia andal main handball,
klu ia kan marah gerenti ada tu nmpk the hole
wawawawwawa jgn marah feeq


najmi, bdn nya tinggi,
dpt scholarship blajar ke luar negeri,
bejumpa d canteen tiap ari,
bila tah kan belanja kedia ku ani... huwahuwahuwahuwa

ada lagi nama nya sepol,
terajun ke swimming pool,
entah tenggalam entah timbul,

ting taka ting tang ting taka ting tang ting~~
nda ku pandai berhyming,
ani th kan be rapping,
sng pulang ku membuat milo ping

bh udh th abis idea ku
kepada yg nda ku buat sorry eh nda ku tau lagi apa...

chow cincau
r28

haii =D

post anii untuk kawan ku namanya c gman.. ia ani baik sekali.. sekali saja

aku ada cerita pasal ia.. yang payah ku lupakan =')


Masa hari atu.. pukul 11.97pm.. kami uic lepak d headquarter.. suasananya sangat meriahh pasal adaa c gmann..

c gman becali masa atuu sambil mengucap urang dengan cara friendly..

sekali.. ada tia c azimm..

azim: man, bila kau balik? bising kau anii.. payah c ehsan sama c najib makan.
gman:kul berapa kau mau? hakakaka..
azim: pukul annjing..
gman: ai kan becali yaa. hakakaka.. (dengan senyumannya yang manis)
azim: urang bisai bisai betanya.. ku daup ko karang.
gman: eh napaaannnn?!

makanan ku jadi masin tarus pasal air liur c gman terperancit arah makanan ku..
ehsan: jim.. suruh tia balik eh c gman ahh.
azim: aku pun sanak ni meliat kediaaa..
gman: ada bosku miss call baru ku balik nii

aku tersenyum dan melihat c najib.. najib pun senyumm.. najib tau apa yang aku pikiring pasal ia ada psychic power. ia baca pikiran ku.

aku pun misscall numbur c gmannn.. sekalii.. c gman happyy berabis pasal hp nya berbunyii. dia pun ketawa nyaring nyaring sampai begagar meja.. aku n najib menahan ketawa.. gman pun pergi balikk dengan riang.. hahah. masa c gman jalan.. c najib gtau semua uic bahawa c ehsan yang mcl c gmannn. HAHAHA caliiiii.. uic pun semu ketawaa arah cgmann XDDD

end =)

to be continued..

to uic.. jangan panggil aku ambuk. bukan nickname ku tu. describe aku ambuk bulih. tapi jangan panggil aku ambuk. ok? aku takut sampai tua kamu panggil aku ambuk. karang anak anak ku pikir bapa drg ambuk. inda jua bisai tu kan? hahahha. *touchscreen*

ehsan <3 uicrutipaun

mcD oredering dayy..
it was yesterday..
sorang-sorang mengorder atu kayaa..
awuuu! jan nda CAYAAA!!

this picture is candidly taken..haha apakan..

najj..we're born to be actors.
iyaa cnaj ahh~
nda nampak molenyaa~
wawawa XD

yang dapat, the rejected, yang mereject

naveen: you look so horny..apa yg kau bayangkan atu?
azman: posing yaa..
ian: u're so sexy my lady..
me myself: wat to comment?so damn kacak..im sad..
mijan: mliat lubang idung cnajib..
najib: "mengapa aku paling itam ani kan?"
basit: "ntah ko jat"

wawawa XD
credits to silah's blog for the pictures..
advertising www.iliketherealshh.blogspot.com
thankiu mamaku-punya-first-cousin-punya-anak..
orr my 2nd cousin yg aku baru tau 2 taun lapas..
wawawa XD

away,
pi bond,
i211 abangcantekkataizzy,
gangster for sadness.

Ok I just realised, namaku kana mention...

Ok here it goes:

Ada teman ku, namanya si Izzat Zaini,

Urangnya kurus, macam lidi,

Kalau kamu minta duit, haram ia membari,

Prasan hensem, tapi muka macam baie.

Kwang, brada si Izzat Zaini,

Ia ani gila & tinggi sekali,

Kalau handball, inda ada urang dapat menandingi,

Except seorang yang bernama Najmi. (baru ya prasan.. wawawaXD..)

Tidak boleh dilupakan si Najib Anuar,

Ia ani cali bila jokesnya kluar,

Ia ani horny jua, selalu basah seluar,

Dia hanya dapat dilihat apabila matahari bersinar. (haha.. get it..?)

Si Chris, the infamous penipu,

Mukanya expressionless, karas macam batu,

Chris, sungguh susah melihat senyuman mu,

Tapi MEREKA selalu mempermainkan mu.

UIC is not complete without Naveen,

He’s nose is big like Mr Bean’s,

His mind’s so dirty, far from clean,

He's so bad, he's the black Charlie Sheen.

Si Yee Fah pandai sudah begaya,

Tapi adinya lagi cool dari ia,

Walaupun sampah nama gelarannya,

Tapi akalnya suci, bukan macam si Naveen kawannya.

Ian Chan the funny guy,

All his jokes you cannot buy,

If he heard his friends sighed,

He will be there to make them high. (that’s deep yoo...)

Oh Eric, namamu sering dilupakan,

Tapi jangan tah kau kan panas baran,

Kau ani weird, muka macam ikan,

Tapi kalau kau becali, semua urang ketawa sakan.

Bokh, mindef scholar yang bangang,

Urang cakap ia hensem, aku cakap “TIA KARANG!!!”

Kalau becakap dengan ia ani, biar terang,

Karang sasak kamu balik2 mengulang.

Si Riza, usulnya innocent rupanya gila,

Masa main handball, banyak skillnya,

Tapi mempass, inda tantu directionnya,

Tapi kesian, tadi terseliuh kakinya.

Si Wafeeq with ia punya lubang idung basar,

Urangnya inda jua damit, inda jua basar,

Tapi pecakapannya sungguh kasar,

Macam maci bekelai di pasar. (gila, inda ku tau apa kan ku cakap pasal ko ani wah)

So atu sajalah yang ku sanggup buat, ngaleh ku.. sorry kepada sesiapa yang ketinggalan namanya.. lain kali ku buat lagi..

najmi.friendly.giant

paloi eeh =]

c`izzat zaini seluar`nya biru psal ya MP *if school-uniform baa* ...
orang`nya handsome rambut`nya b`diri...
so tidak heran jdi rebutan bnyk bini2...
tpi dlm bnyk bini2 atu, c`shidah binti *sorry jat lupaku nma bapa`nya* jua menjadi pilihan hati...

inda jua pemarah inda jua garang...
tpi mun sdh ia b`ckp "heyyy waaaaang!" ...
jgn`taa lgi d`karasi muka kmu atu sorang2...
tampar`nya kmu karang...


mer37 here tryna rhyme...
eventho poem ku "masam" mcm lime...
uic bring me up when im feeling down...
ladies back off,.im her's n she is my only one...

eyyeahh !! ex pi ex pi ex pi =Pp =Pp =Pp
mer sign-keluar ;)

UIC ain't just a team
A family we are, close we may seem
We may argue at times but we never stay mad
We cheer each other up when we are sad

In the canteen we sit at the very far table
Our emotions inside never stay stable
We laugh we scream like theres no tomorrow
When one goes 'Napaan' the rest all follow

We have no leader we have no boss
Who says that having no pedoman is a loss
When one is down we make him stand
When one is lost we lend a hand

I personally choose quality over quantity
But we have both of these in UIC
From Melayu to India, to Dusun and Cina
We're like rojak baby, jangantah hina

You mess with one you mess with all
Whether the problem is big or small
At times we may go our separate paths
But we get back together and have some laughs

I salute you all and respect each one
Tall or short, boring or fun
No matter what we have each other
Benji adalah nama my father

Dato Ian

from rapping..to jiwang..

Ingin ku sendiri~
Meniti hari~
Kala sunyi~
Yang melanda sepi~
Alam bisu~
Bagaikan mengerti~
Berakhirnya sebuah memori~

Ingin ku melangkah~
Membawa diri~
Kerna puisi~
Yang dikhianati~
Luka rasa untuk menghadapi~
Pengorbanan tidak dihargai~

Kini aku~ Pasrah~
Dengan segalanya~
Kepedihan itu~
Masih terasa~
Apakah salahku~
Apakah dosaku~

ohh~aku mental~
karang lagi test chem sama maths~
chem lagi baru ku read thru~
maths lagi balum ku baca smua~
ohhh~aku mental~
aku sedih~
ilang rhyme ku~

ohh~nda ku peduli~
nda jua urg appreciate akuu~
blablabla u~
blablabla me~
ohhhhhh~

apakannnn jatttttttt..

aku ada soalan..
u call me jat..
kalau tebalikkan jadi apa?
jadi tajjj..

cuba kamu panggil namaku tebalikk den panggil si awang liao izzuddin..
hey taj-hey judin..
combine dua2..
hey taj-juddin..
nama bapa cbasit..
wawawawawa XD

aku mentallllllllllllll...
fail fail lahh..
bukan A-level..
wawawawawawawawaXD

apakan jatttttt..

XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD

im tired..
shut up..
im signing out..
im sad..
i211 sisedih..
gangster for dead.

hi y'all i dont know how to rap,
I only talk crap,
for the first time,
i'm gonna rhyme.

izzat, u think im gay,
but hey,
i think it's becuz,
u lost to me in CABAL yest'day.

najib my black friend,
who i always have money to lend,
do not fear,
since u always have ur peers.

ian , my friend since we r at sas,
i really didnt meant to forget,
its just that I,
just remembered to feed my pet.

naveen the horny indian,
his jokes live up to his name,
try competing wif him,
if u think u've got game.

hafiz si porno,
he's gay,
and he so vain,
he dream to become a woman someday,

Sepol got no life,
he's always locked up in his hive,
with his laptop in hand,
playing cs till the morning end.

kwang and najmi,
they're as tall as a pole,
the only was to differentiate them is,
najmi got a mole.

to the rest of u who i have not mention,
will u give ur utmost attention,
make a rhyme of ur own,
so not to make najib moan.

over and out,
c291

(credits to najib for his help)
haha antam saja

i noticed my name,
so i write this poem,
jib your game sounds lame,
but damn! i'm game!

kwang is my brother,
he looks more cooler,
he's so tall,
you can't differentiate him and the wall.

najib's the secretary,
he's not that scary,
he's not that fatty,
but hey he can be so bitchy,

secretary 2 ian chan,
he's so depressed lately,
come here and eat belacan,
i'm sure u'll get better my lady.

najmi's the giant,
he's always acts silent,
he thinks he's so cool,
but hey, your mole?
soo uncool.

the tall-wannabe guy basit,
he's a lame ass shit,
he likes to sit,
and go eat shit.

my son named yeefah,
i call him sampah,
u wanna noe why fatty?
coz he's dat smelly.

chea kai the cousin,
so white so fazin,
jarang go lepak sama kami,
go there la dating sama ani.

christopher the liar,
he likes to lie,
and he likes to lay,
u wana noe why?coz he's dat gay.

naveen the horny indian,
he's not that vain,
but when it comes to dirty mind,
trust me he's second to none.

hafiz the porno,
he seldom says no,
he always go to the bathroom,
i dont know,is that your masturbate-room?

ehsan the ambuk,
he always go to the tabuk,
he always tries to be funny,
we go haha nada cali!

riza my baby,
you are so cali,
the cuteness in ur stare,
made the ladies go errrr.

sepol si mental,
sais sepuluh bantal?
u like to slap people's ass,
are you having ur PMS?

chinkai the poser,
he thinks he's hoter,
with his fringe go wavering,
*sigh* he's so sinting.

haziq the naga,
suka marah masam muka,
pala gundul usul ganas,
dapan bini macam *tut*less.

faiq the coolest,
so cantek so famous,
i like your file,
but chris likes your smile.

wafeeq the waffle,
so ambung so mahal,
you think you're that big?
well the hole in ur nose is bigger.

afiq the asphyxiated,
watever it is, it's so rugged,
can't find a word to describe you,
oh i get it, its tuyu.

hakeem the judge,
he so hot like the chocolate fudge,
he went to school with a songkok,
muka pun sudah mcm ayam berkokok.

gman's the man,
he likes to act as the toughman,
boy you're not superman,
but you can be uic's garbageman.

judin the cwalker,
he's the walker he's the talker,
he ain't lying when he's talkin,
I ain't bitchin but keep doin your thang.

azim the lawak,
he's so talented to be the pak lawak,
recently rejected for the scolarship,
that's so sad but that's so lawak.

badan bokhari sofian mcm pisang,
dia pikir dia hensem?betang betang,
qilah's your girlfriend and i don't care,
coz the teachers in the school says that you're so gay.

edmond lee edward,
he's so awkward,
trust me he's a bastard,
9 times he farted.

the coach named haji faizul,
once a gay but now likes to hold a tukul,
your tukul is so hard just like your head,
sorry to the ladies, but which head?

eric the guy who looks like a chinese,
no he's not a chinese but a cantonese,
no it's not the same you bangladis,
jangan majal tampar kamu karang sampai menangis.

brada cham brada ku,
we're so quiet tanpa dirimu,
we miss you a lot..well sometimes la bro,
your nyanyahness is wat defines you la yo.

naqiu si macho but not too macho,
ketawanya cali ketawa hohoho,,
im not insulting im not mengucap-ing,
sorry for disturbing agatah continue melancap-ing.

amir the athletic,
he's so silent but yet so cantek,
so kurus so tough,
i bet u ladies sesiapun kan mentouch his body's buff.

mizan the italian,
he looks like the tukangmembasuhjuburcbokh kegalian,
but well who cares you dumbass,
as long as he likes to wrap up bokh's tiny little thin ass.

i end my post with one rhyme,
i'm so tired and i haven't read my chem,
but who cares if im failing,
at least here i am rapping.

sign out,
sigma bond,
i211 sinotkacak,
gansgterfor lifee.

Hey. I noticed my name but i cant rap =( LOLX

Handball was fun yesterday,
thats what all the people say,
no matter chinese, indian or malay,
we all will make dusuns pay.

When you pass the ball,
please make sure theres no ones tall,
if u make a mistake,
please say sorry for the teams sake.

When you want to shoot,
please look at the goalkeepers foot,
when he/she moves to the left,
please score to the right LAH- of course.

shit i ambored.
K263-Kwang

Handball 2moro <33

battle

Listen up everybody,
Coming back from kl was ahmed bokhari,
So here I am jobless so listen up,
Lets play a game that I made up.

so this is how It goes,
a game to check how ur brain juice flows,
we spit rhymes or puisi or whatever of similar type,
put your game on, adangtah dulu memakai skype.

Come on UIC lift ur lazy asses up,
Show the world we got puisis that’ll make rappers drop,
Najmi, hakeem, kwingy kwengy kweng kwang,
we gonna blow your minds of, no need for senapang

Come on orang rimba, come on Izzat Zaini,
Mun sudah kau baca ani paksa kau buat puisi,
Sama jua dengan orang lain,
If your name’s here then you gotta show us what chu got,
manada pilihan lain, selain paksa membuat.

Apaaannn jibbb

Kawanku silver aka izzat,
Walau kau kurus kau tetap lazat,
Subject kesukaannya dulu adalah munakahat,
Mun bangun tidur selalu ada yang melakat.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yang sorang ani Najmi Nuruddin,
Mun ia di USA aku pasti ia president,
Berkulit putih kekurangan melanin,
Berfikiran matang dan phD dalam bidang alat kelamin.

Christopher teo lian boon,
Nama sudah kan sama macam baboon,
Senyumanmu membuat perempuan terpegun,
Perubahan exprei mukamu kini menbuatku kagum.

Next up is riza aziman,
Mukanya kiut, malar sudah kejamban,
Mun penyeluru mbari kan mengumban,
Baik jua ia melayu bukan urang thailan.

Kawanku lama, kawanku dari dulu,
Sebelum ms, kami nusa laila puteri,
Pandai ni ia ani, walaupun usulnya tuyu,
Dialah hakeem mat daud, pembenci Chelsea fc.

Ian chan tidak boleh dilupakan,
Unless kamu minta gigit atau minta kana makan.
Dia seorang yang periang dan lucu,
Saya telahpun diberitahu, dia mempunyai punggung yang besar,
macam saya punya gitu, tetapi tidak banyak bladar.

Dia bukan melayu dia bukan cina,
Hanya dia seorang yang lain bangsa,
Dialah naveeen yang bermuka hensem,
Bila kau kan ada yang ehem ehem.
Heheheheee

Jangan lupa jua si azeef aka abol,
Manakah ia, maybe di Istanbul,
Kami tau kau camping masa ani,
Jangan marah-marah mulut jangan cabul.

Boring eh indakan lelaki saja,
Lets make the girls play lah jua,
Wana, zatish, izzyani isa,
Mama say mama sa mama choo sa,
Eh I almost forgot kan si Sarah Hana.

Orang yang lain lah jua,
Ada banyak pulang lagi, tapi indakan ku buat semua,
Aku ini hanya sekadar manusia biasa,
Yang ingin mengalahkan Roma Irama.

Im out,
siNajibKeboringanHantap

ps: baik kamu buat mun ada nama kamu di atas. Mun inda, saya nangis. Yang nada namanya di atas pun buat, jgn malu nanti kana liwat. Apakan jib

pss: just to make it clear, buat puisi atau rhyme atau poem or apasaja lah, bukan buat buat. Apakan jibbbbb. Told you guys aku bored

cafe

In school, there’s two things people look forward to; break time and lunch. At least that’s what I think.
It’s because my throat gets dried up easily and I’d trade my pencil for a drink. Hey, you don’t know how important my pencil is to me okay.

But then, our cafeteria is always crowded, always. And I understand this is an obstacle to everyone wanting to buy food, especially to those who are fun-sized. The mixture of different odour is also a disturbance. From sweat to bau haing, this is enough to make a dog pass out.

So I’m gonna share with you people some tips and tricks on how to get your food without having to go through all those troubles.

1) Suruh org bali and bagi tips.

2) If you’re fun sized, squeeze through them people like a red blood cell. Get in between those armpits, crawl through people’s legs and you’ll make your way to the counter.

3) If you’re a giant, body charge the crowd. Or bagi sphere macam si Goldberg. Goldberg ah, bukan GoldDust. This will make them run for their lives and voila, you get food. Or..

4) You could just raise your arm, exposing your armpit, which is leveled with the non-giants’ head. They will cover their nose, but your armpit’s smell will continue to penetrate their nostrils and will eventually force them to give up and lari. If you cant beat them smelly people, join them.

5) Go to the nearest girl to you and say “kenapa ada cicak arah kain mu atu?”
She will, surely, scream and panic. Unless she is a he. Hearing the scream, people will look at the screamer. Take this chance, people hilang focus sakai meliat bini-bini beteriak, you make your way to the counter and make your purchase happily.

6) If you’re a ninja, I envy you.

7) If you know karate, don’t be shy and use your knowledge, chop them up. Do it for the hungry people mann.

8) Teamwork. Bring along a friend. Let your friend distract the crowd, some magic tricks would be best. While the crowd is distracted, bali tah makanan for your friend and yourself.

9) Bali saja like anyone else would. And sabar. Because sabar itu separuh daripada iman.

10) Minta-minta makanan saja dari kawan, mengintu. Hahah

im out,
siNajibSelaluKaringLeher

convo lawak aku sama si chris..ktawa kamu membaca ni..wawawawa XD
btw aku bukan sichris penipu..100% banar ni..original..bukan palsu..haha

uicrutipaun's c291 says:
bayi ko jat
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
mana ku gay
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahaha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
cali eh muka ku
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
rugged jua
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
2nd 1?

uicrutipaun's c291 says:
bahapa ko post ku gay
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
haha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
just to make up story wa
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
boring waa
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
no fun
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahaha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
sanang tu ku sama bini bini
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha apakan
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
boring ku eh
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
apakan
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
cakap english wah
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
nda ku paham
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
u betang speak malay
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
apa betang
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
cannot
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahaha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
owh
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
bh i translate
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
paloi
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
i donno how to say in eng oso
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
hahahaha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahahahha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
talur
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
aku post dis convo eh..
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
lawak eh
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahaha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
bayi ko
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
karang ku post yg ko cakap pasal najib tu
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
haha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
awu wa nada wa
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
apa aku cakap pasal najib?manada
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha aku boleh tukar wah
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
buat cerita
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahah
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
baie ko
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
kurang ajar banar
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
napaan
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
lvl 17 dah
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
laju jua eh
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
no life
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
like u wah
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
aku ada life
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
bh ku post eh
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
aku study
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
post apa?
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
i want revenge for the gay thing
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
apa yg kau kan post?
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
pasal ko ucap najib penis
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
hey looks at this
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
i found on the net
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
CRISTIANO RONALDO UPDATE: Spanish daily Marca has Manchester United chief exec David Gill telling Real Madrid not to f*** with him. No, really. It's their front-page headline. Rival paper As has Real settling for Klaas Jan Huntelaar instead.
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
haha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
lawak
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
eh btw manada ku ucap pasal najib penis
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
sial
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
hey im nt gay
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
just for fun wahhh
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
since i m bored and i wan revenge
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
sama la tu
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
wawawa
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahah
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
kimaa
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
bah bah manasajatah ko
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
ahah
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
hmm i wonder apa reaction orang lain...
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
bayi
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
tapi indakan pasal penis
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
buduh eh
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
pasal lain wah
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
ku tukar lah
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
apa?

uicrutipaun's c291 says:
biji
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
haha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
buduh
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
ass
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
cant u think of anything other than sex organ?
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
buduhh
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
pasal jubur ya
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
terpakai nya
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
suka
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahah
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
palui
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
lawak ko ani eh
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
im gonna post dis convo man..
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
lawak kau ani ehh..
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
my influnce..im proud
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahaha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
O.o
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
*influence
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
haha puji sendiri aja
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
kambang ko ni
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
hahha
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
prassan*
uicrutipaun's c291 says:
prasaan*
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
kalau bukan kambang bukantah namaku cjat
uicrutipaun's i211 Qudro says:
wawawa XD

lawak ko ani chriss..lawak..

jib prove tu ahh..aku nada cakap pasal any of ur sex organ..
tu sichris kan buat crita pasal ia mau revenge..
hahaha DX

busy,
strain=e/l,
i211 sinotkacak,
gangster for lifee.