Yesterday..

5 hours and 30minutes after 12.30pm, I went to a tailor shop near Bengkurong. I had to make baju melayu for my cousin’s wedding.

When I stepped out of my imaginary-escalade, I saw a boy on the far corner of my no-need-for-spectacles eyes. Sitting down on the floor, knees bent, leather Chuck Tailor shoes, wearing black all round with fringe longer than Kwang’s. Out of nowhere, Akon’s ‘lonely’ was heard in the air.
I knew what species he was when I first saw him; an EMO with capital letters.
I approached him with an intention in mind; to put a smile on that hideous face of his. I went closer, closer and closer, until I was within 1meter radius from the boy. Then I heard the boy say to himself repeatedly
“I bleed it out, take in deeper just to throw it away”
…while rubbing a razorblade against his already-bleeding-arm.

I shook my head and tsk tsk tsk(HAHA apakan). He clearly needed help.
So, being the gentleman I am, I took away his razorblade and gave him a parang instead. That’ll kill him quicker. Zgheah.

Then we headed our way home. During the journey home, my dad did something he’s never done in a loooonnngggg time. He honked the horn.
In Brunei, when people honk the horn, it doesn’t mean they’re horny. Well at least not all the time.

Usually,

Kalau hornnya skajap, it means :
“laju wang eh”or “bah jalan tah!”

Kalau hornnya batah :
“OI MAN WTF KURANG AJAR JUA KO WANG! KO INGAT JALAN BAPAMU KAH NI? WALAUPUN KO BEGAMBAR SAMA AMBUK DI KK WANG”

And ada pernah orang ani hornnya cemani:
(u guys have to read this out loud, barutah kamu paham)
Pe re pe pe pet, pe re pe pe pet, pe re re re re re pet.

Ehhh. Macam horn kreta Eddie Guerero bah.

Bah Im out,
siNajibHonks.lol

ps: I saw a guy shaving inside his car while driving. I swear.

Pps: I think im running out of funny juice