I walked up onto the stage and approached the mic at the centre of the stage. I adjusted the mic stand to my jaw level. All eyes focused on me, my collar moistened by the sweat coming down my neck. It was dead quiet. I was nervous. It made me wonder if Russel Peters ever felt nervous being on stage. And I was hot, duhhhh. heehee. So i opened my mouth, and my magical voicebox did the rest.

"Aku ada soalan pasal ambuk. Mun inda cali diam saja, kamu tah ganya cali didunia ani."

"Ambuk punya tangan digunakan untuk apa?" i continued.

"memanjat, kurik idung, garu kepala dan macam-macam lagi lah," said one setaie-looking audience.

His inteligence awed me, "bagus. pandai you ani, saya pasti mamamu bangga kan kau. soalan seterusnya, apa gunanya kaki ambuk?"

The same guy answered, proudly.

"mengikut kajian Harvard University, kaki ambuk digunakan untuk memanjat pokok, melompat dan menandang buah-buahan. wawawa"

nada cali, i said to myself dalam hati.

"pandai nyeeeeee, baiktah you masuk 'Are you smarter than a 10 year old' kali eh"

The guy reacted kambang-ly, so kambang you'd feel like throwing anything throwable within 1metre radius at him.

so i took a deep breath, put on a fake smile to cover my exasperation and asked the guy one final question;

"so, apa gunanya ekor ambuk kau pandai ah?"

"sanang tu bui *confident berabis* ekornya atu untuk menutup alat sulitnya yang mengeluarkan taie. atau menulung ambuk atu memanjat lah."

knowing his answer was wrong, i jumped for joy and fireworks was in the air. The place turned from zzzzzzz to BOOOOOMMMKACHAKBOOOMBOOM!

"SALAH!WOOO! jawapannya.. ekor ambuk digunakan untuk mengira. mun urang betanya arahmu, 'ada brapa ambuk di atas pukuk atu?' ndakan kau jawab 3batis, 3ekor jua. ah atu baru cali bui. burneddd"

The rest of the audience applaused while the dude sat down muted. Satisfied, i shuffled my way off the stage. zgheahh.

imOut,
siNajibkanbecali