“UMMMMMPHHHHHH!!!”
And then I flushed.
Feeling 8 kilos lighter, I walked into the Plenary Hall where the exhibition was. The place was packed, it was like going to the MS cafeteria during breaktime. I headed my way to the far end of the nicely lit hall and checked out the nearby booths along the way.
The first thing that caught my eye was the Panasonic HDTV. The animated movie, Open Season was being played at that time, to show the quality of the tv, I guess. It was so good I could see the bear’s kutu.
My moment staring at every bit of the tv was spoilt by the voice of a Chinese man, speaking rather loud and unclear. I turned and saw a crowd surrounding this small booth, blocking my view of the man. So I went there to check what all the fuss is about.
He was speaking in mandarin, but I understood him as mandarin is my fifth language, after Malay,English, French and Japanese. I know a bit of Tagalog too. Sos Mario sep, try find out what it means.
Anyways, the man said,
“Mummys and daddys ah, and also serial killers lah, this knife ah *holds up a knife* is one of the latest product from our company, Sak Mai Kok Sdn. Bhd. We got professional help from engineers from Hitler’s country to make this knife. Its lighter than the ordinary kitchen knife, sharper, and *pause* better lah. Hehehe”
The crowd “uuuuuu”-ed and “aaaaaa”-ed.
“Don’t worry one, my mama teach me not to lie, so trust me or my hairy mole will fall of right now. *pause* see, my mole don’t fall, so im not lying. Let me show you all how amazing this knife is ah,” the man continued.
He held a piece of paper and started cutting the paper into strips. He was like a human shredder.
“wow” said a woman in the crowd shaking her head in amazement.
The man continued his demonstration. He took a towel, rolled it up and placed it on the table. Then, slowly and smoothly, he sliced the rolled towel as if he was slicing a salmon. That got the crowd raising their eyebrows, and dropped the jaws of some.
“Hmm, I might use this to circumcise my victims, I mean patients, the next time around. I’d prolly be able to circumcise three faggots at once too,” said the man next to me as he stroked his goatee.
I wish the younger and uncircumcised generation the best of luck.
Time went by faster than I realized and the tournament was about to start, as it was announced through the PA system, or whatever you call it. I rushed to the place and played my first match against C-Mat.
And guess what,
I WON THE TOURNAMENT!!
How awesome would it be if I could actually say that. I lost in the knock out stage. Bummer. Losing is never fun.
and im done for now.
Najib
