"NAJIB ANAKKU SAYANG HARAPAN MAMA UNTUK MEMBAWA BERUNAI ANI MAJU LAGI CEMERLANG, BANGUN! tolong bersihkan aisbuk ah. Makin hari macam-macam sudah mama liat isinya aisbuk atu"
being the lovely son i am, i replied in the most angelic voice ever,
"okayy mamaaa :) "
She stood at my door, sighed happily and smiled, feeling lucky she's got a son like me.
so i got off my triple king sized bed, put on my winnie the pooh slipperd, brushed my teeth along with my diamond filled grills and proceeded to the targeted fridge. as soon as i opened the door, the bright light striked my body and bounced off the smooth surface. eseh. I took a box from the door compartment that reads 'ubat batuk cap anak dan ibu' and checked the expiry date.
" 13 Oct 1995"
reading that, my jaw dropped in disbelief. I searched more, found more expired medicines and found the surprise cake that i never got to eat when i turned 6. Afraid that these might be eaten by others, i took 'em all and threw 'em in a plastic bag. 3 hours 56 minutes 42 seconds later, the fridge is clean as new.
I then carried the 7865kg plastic bag full of stone-aged food and medicine outside the house to the rubbish bin for the truck sampah man, Latip Anak Stuggy, to pick up. almost immediately after i put the plastic bag in the bin, a number of dogs attacked the bin, tore the plastic with their sharp canines and devoured everything inside. They gulped the expired Bodrex Obat Batuk Flu Pilek dan yang sejenis dengannya.
Seconds later, the dogs began rolling on the floor macam urang tecramp bagas belawan menari, then started shaking all round as if they were experiencing a seizure. Then things got quiet for a moment or so as they lie down in silence. I approached them, slowly and rather cautiously. from where i was, i noticed that they look different than before. i dont know what, yet, but there is definitely something different about them.
Suddenly, all of the dogs got on their legs, facing towards me with the imma-bite-you-til-you-dont-look-like-a-monkey-no-more-boi look. their eyes turned orange and their Angelina lips pouted in anger.
those 'dogs' scared the shit out of me. so I ran as fast as i could, faster than Usain Bolt maybe, as they chased me. after minutes of running, jumping over longkangs, climbing off pagars and what not, i started to get tired. so i hid behind a tree, broke a piece of wood from its branch's branch punya branch. then i injected myself with a dose of guts and stood still facing the 'dogs'. they stopped right in front of me, looking ready to pounce anytime. it felt like one of those cowboy shootout scenes. I slowly showed them the wooden stick. then i said,
"FETCH!!" and threw the stick as far as i could and ran away to safety.
from that moment on, those dogs were nowhere to be seen.
hasta la vista,
Najib
