Its been long since my last post. sorry chelsea, you got owned by ManU and Liverpool. apakan out.i know its late, but Happy Birthday Najmi! and since you love puisi so much, im going to make one for you. walaupun crappy. hahah

Namanya Najmi,
bapanya Jasni,
tinggal di batu besurat,
badannya barat amat sangat.

orangnya tinggi lampai,
slalu senyum macam urang sakai,
Dalam squash, katanya ia handal,
ku liat ia lawan sama orang, sama jua babal.

inda handal lah tu ertinya.

liat muanya,
liat taie lalat,
hensem lah ia ani,
hensem taie palat.

aku cuba sedaya upaya bepuisi tanpa kata-kata kasar,
tapi vocab melayu ku ani inda basar,
so ertinya paksa tah jua ni najmi,
ku tampar kau karang jangan macam staie.

kes nada idea tu bui.

ingat kau masa di rumah Izzat Haji zaini?
masa atu bapanya alum lagi naik haji,
kau pinjam jambannya seorang diri,
udah ku abis,jamban atu bau kupi!

Izzat: "eh naj, bau kupi jua jambanku ani uleh mu"
Najmi: "*mua awkward* suri bui, ku banyak minum kupi tadi pagi bah."

hahhaha.

kalau tidur, tidurnya tidur mati,
di tempiling apa pun inda jua mau bangun,
satu cara saja yang dapat membanguni,
picik juburnya sekuat-kuat hati.

dulu di brunei, ani di uk,
dari dulu sampai ani, tatap jua gay.
ku doakan kau murah rezeki,
supaya balik Brunei dapat lanja-lanja kami. hehehe

umurmu lapan belas sudah,
jangantah staie ke Bar Mitzvah, (cuba kamu google gambarnya, 'bar mitzvah'.)
diri atu alum belesen,
kau jeles tu nanti jangantah kan eksen. hahah apakan.

naj, inda lagi siuk puisi kami ani, nada flow udah. hahah. apa-apa pun, syabas kau hidup 18 tahun udah. slamat hari jadi bui.

-Najib

CUTE PIC!!!

CUTE PIC
[BLONDE CHICK WITH CUTE PUSSY!!!]

Nah berupdate udah....
Suka kali anti-uic meliat gambar ni.
[Please be warned, the picture may be unsuitable for children under 18....Its up to you to decide =S]



----------------------------------------------------





Blonde Chick and pussy O.o


What were you guys thinking???

Perverts =.="

Btw Happy B'day to jat(i211)
Jgn lupa to lanja me.


Buang Boring....
C.291 - no life

alhafiz11

A recent survey from Perogolsedunia.com showed that the number of rape and molestation cases have been increasing rapidly, over the past few years. And the public has been urged to help the authorities to reduce these number of cases as it ruins the image of the country. When asked how we, the public, can help, one idea arisen;

Detect potential molesters or rapist in their teenage hood and keep them under probation before they ‘strike’. Because at this age, their raging hormones makes their eyes attracted to semi hemispherical objects.

Detecting these potential molesters or rapists is easy as the signs or symptoms are pretty obvious. All that is needed is to place a busty slut woman near the suspect and see the result. The picture below shows a potential rapist. Serial rapist would even be possible, I’m sure.

Tsk tsk, bad boy. Bad boy. melangap lagi tu.

But some are not as obvious as the unskilled perverted boy above. Some are very sneaky, you can’t tell he’s a perv. They stand next to the ‘meal’ and start devouring by glancing or peeking, or menyubuk, at the heavenly object now and then. Chances of the suspect getting caught doing this is quite low. But this is a risky move as it may lead to drooling.

Bokh budak yang tidak diketahui identitinya menahan air liur dari melilih.

So please help the authorities for a rape-free future. If you think your neighbour’s son has potential, then just call our hotline at +6738****61. and while you’re on the look, watch out for this guy as well.

Warning: he does guys too.

Najib.

ps: diam saja mun inda cali.

The Dream,
Title: A peeping tom? No, a peeping CHRIS.

In his early days, Chris was a really obedient and good boy. He likes to follow instructions from his friends and teachers. He never defy any orders delivered to him. He was the Mr.Do-everything-what-people-say. In another rude way to describe him, he was the d*g. However, time had changed. Obama had become president. Palestinians like bombs. Gaza dislike bombs. Chris had changed as well. He had turned over a rotten leaf. He is now officially known as the Mr.Do-nothing-and-watch-people-suffer of UIC.

He had conducted a lot of criminal activities in UIC which includes going against teachers in school, lying without any expressions, smiling without any reasons, not doing any homeworks, escape class when teacher is in class and a lot if to be mentioned. The worst of all, he had developed a hobby which is peeping people in toilets. To make things even worse, he peeps at guys. I am not completely sure if hes gay but i think this is a very serious matter. This concerned about his marriage with his future partner and would certainly disappoint his family who had high hopes of having a Chris-Batman grandson. I finally found out the reason of all these happenings. The main source: Chris do not know how to smile. Without a smile on your face, you forgot what is happiness and will think on the dark side. Not to mention the dark skin tone as well.

So here, i wish Chris a very '' bright '' future. To prevent any racism to continue, i want to enforce the usage of the word '' non-white '' instead of the sensitive '' black ''. Black is beautiful =D. Chris is not gay of course but i cant assure you he wont be one in the future. Siapa yang terasa atu2, sorry2 lah. Me minta maaf =).

Everything above is just a dream. What i typed is not 100% true. That is if you wanted to admit it. No offence aight. CHIGGERS FOR LIFE.

UIC Cina's k263

After I parked my orange Kijang, I entered the ICC through its main door feeling a tad bit nervous as I was about to continue my journey in the PES2009 tournament in the PS3 category. My fake Breitling watch showed ten minutes to 10 AM. The tournament is only going to start in about 25 minutes. Even the exhibition wasn’t opened yet. So I made my way to the toilet and did some investing. Melabur wah, direct translation tu. Beria lah, mun atu jua inda paham, mati tah ko.

“UMMMMMPHHHHHH!!!”

And then I flushed.

Feeling 8 kilos lighter, I walked into the Plenary Hall where the exhibition was. The place was packed, it was like going to the MS cafeteria during breaktime. I headed my way to the far end of the nicely lit hall and checked out the nearby booths along the way.

The first thing that caught my eye was the Panasonic HDTV. The animated movie, Open Season was being played at that time, to show the quality of the tv, I guess. It was so good I could see the bear’s kutu.

My moment staring at every bit of the tv was spoilt by the voice of a Chinese man, speaking rather loud and unclear. I turned and saw a crowd surrounding this small booth, blocking my view of the man. So I went there to check what all the fuss is about.

He was speaking in mandarin, but I understood him as mandarin is my fifth language, after Malay,English, French and Japanese. I know a bit of Tagalog too. Sos Mario sep, try find out what it means.

Anyways, the man said,

“Mummys and daddys ah, and also serial killers lah, this knife ah *holds up a knife* is one of the latest product from our company, Sak Mai Kok Sdn. Bhd. We got professional help from engineers from Hitler’s country to make this knife. Its lighter than the ordinary kitchen knife, sharper, and *pause* better lah. Hehehe”

The crowd “uuuuuu”-ed and “aaaaaa”-ed.

“Don’t worry one, my mama teach me not to lie, so trust me or my hairy mole will fall of right now. *pause* see, my mole don’t fall, so im not lying. Let me show you all how amazing this knife is ah,” the man continued.

He held a piece of paper and started cutting the paper into strips. He was like a human shredder.

“wow” said a woman in the crowd shaking her head in amazement.

The man continued his demonstration. He took a towel, rolled it up and placed it on the table. Then, slowly and smoothly, he sliced the rolled towel as if he was slicing a salmon. That got the crowd raising their eyebrows, and dropped the jaws of some.

“Hmm, I might use this to circumcise my victims, I mean patients, the next time around. I’d prolly be able to circumcise three faggots at once too,” said the man next to me as he stroked his goatee.

I wish the younger and uncircumcised generation the best of luck.

Time went by faster than I realized and the tournament was about to start, as it was announced through the PA system, or whatever you call it. I rushed to the place and played my first match against C-Mat.

And guess what,

I WON THE TOURNAMENT!!

How awesome would it be if I could actually say that. I lost in the knock out stage. Bummer. Losing is never fun.

and im done for now.

Najib

I personally think this blog needs an update.
A proper one which excludes announcements and weird pictures i.e the 3 boob-ed girl =S

I am here to continue Najib's exciting and entertaining dreams.
Dreams that you people are missing and looking forward to.

The dream goes like this:

Izzat was in school sitting in the canteen. He was expecting all the other UICs are coming because it was break time. That was the time when 94.135609% of the UICs are present. He was patiently waiting expecting everyone will rush to the well-known tables. However, not a single UIC passed by. Every tables was filled with respective groups and batches. Izzat was disappointed and wanted to leave. When he was clearing the dirt off his butt, Najib came. Izzat's eyes lit with appreciation HAHA. Najib told Izzat that the UICs are leaving Izzat alone because UICs have to be bald to be UICs. Izzat who desperately wanted to be part of UIC went bald. He rubbed his clean head with vainness. He went to school ready to face his friends. When he reached school, he was shocked to his death when he found out everyone still have their hair.

The End.

HAHAHAHAHA nadawah.

This is the real one:

Title: A monkey's day in school

To make it realistic, i decided to name the monkey Ehsan =D.

Ehsan woke up with a big big smile because he had a feeling that school will be great. So, he looked into the mirror and admired his good looks for about 30 mins before deciding to go shower and get ready. After he showered, he was still in front of the mirror admiring every inch of his perfect appearance. He put on his ARMANI's perfume and headed to school. Because of his time wasting in front of the mirror, he had to have breakfast in the car. He asked his mum what will he be having that morning expecting Maki Californias or at least a Unagi Don for breakfast. His mum smiled showing her teeth and handed him a big yellow banana. Ehsan went wild because it was a better breakfast than he expected. He gobbled it up and burped as loud as a carhorn. The burp had caused the driver in front of his father's car to be angry. The driver stopped and stepped down the car stomping in rage.

He went cursing and scolding the family for a random car horn. Ehsan felt sorry for his parents because he was the culprit. He was late for school and got another lecture from the discipline teacher before receiving a green late slip. He went to the toilet to take a good look at himself in front of the mirror before showing up in class. While walking to class, he was controlling his macho and flicked his fringe occasionally to attract the juniors. He went into class and sat down putting his legs on the table like a real life superstar. The teacher was annoyed but couldnt not do anything about it. He raised his hands up everytime the teacher pointed out a question and answered it confidently. However, none of his answers are even near to correct. He just wanted to answer the questions himself not giving any chances to his classmates. This went on for 5 periods. Finally and fortunately, break arrived.

He then went to the canteen and bought his meal; a banana-flavoured milo and a banana rice katok. He brought them to the table and enjoyed it. Everytime he sipped a drink or munched on a scoop of rice, he brought out a mirror out checking if there is any stain on his lips or teeth. He got 5 tissue boxes prepared in his bag for any emergency. Therefore, he was really good in keeping his image as perfect as possible. It was then when he finished his meal, there were a group of people who were carring cameras setting up a site for some casting. They looked like they are making a drama.

One of them came by and asked Ehsan,'' By any chance your related to Irwasyah?'' Ehsan shaked his head but was flattered in heart. The guy then received a call and immediately his face turned gloom. However, he then smiled and told Ehsan that his main actor couldnt not come. They are shooting a movie named '' Twilampu '' and now have to find an urgent replacement. He told Ehsan he looks perfect for the role ;Edward Cullen. Ehsan was really flattered and agreed without any hesitation. Ehsan was like checking his looks already and spiked his hair up like how Robert Pattinson did in the movie. The director said he is looking fine and asked Ehsan not to be too nervous. Ehsan was happy and asked the director which scene are they shooting. The director told Ehsan with a strict voice, '' Whatelse can we be shooting? Did you know why we find you? We are supposed to shoot the scene when Edward is carrying Bella while climbing up the tree.Your the perfect guy for it. '' The director beamed with a huge smile while Ehsan broke down and cried. His day wasn't that great after all.

The End.

Hope you like it.
If u dont like, u can comment it on my own blog. Please dont spam this UIC tagboard. Thanks

K263.

P.S To the e306, that Ehsan in the story is not you. Dont be offended =D

PERHATIAN!

Kata si muaz yg form5 taun 2009 ani boyfriend si khadijah yg kakanya si Afifah and adi si Adib yg bapanya bernama Othman. Detail dah tu. atu jua nda kamu paham. baik adang. daup plang krg.

Ahh..iatahkann..

ia menjemput para uic bermain futsal di Harun's Gym di bandar arah parking betingkat2.
membari watir tu tingkat2nya nda mau abis.
Hari jumaat tu. 2nd January 2009. or in numerical 02.01.2009
Pkul 4-6 pm.
datang ah bui.
sekali skala main belimbu. buring jua bepanas saja. mua si najib n baasit pn sudah putih mcm si bokh.
sayang jua kan di itamkan balik. wawawa XD
Bah datang ahh ramai2.

Katanya main futsal lawan team nya n cuzennya. team Nakey.
inda ku tau handal ka inda.
yg penting kitani main.
bawa baju lawa2 n kasut lawa2 ahh.
main dgn penuh begaya mcm kalau kamu kan ke gadong.
mun kalah mainan nda apa.
janji manang gaya.
wawawa XD

Ia ckp bawa saja usin $3 just in case. mun nda cukup ia mmbayar extra. ahh paham2 tah kamu tu. yg cikar atu paham ku tu. mana mau mmbayar tu. paham jua ku urg2 uic ani. p sebaik2nya bayar lah ah. apa jua ganya $3 main 2 jam. luan jua karit kamu atu. adangtah kan nyusahkan urg saja ani.

Ia ckp yg urg yg penting2.................. ahh paham2 lah kamu sapa yg penting2 atu. malas ku nyabut. lain jua krg rasa yg lain tu.

Yg pnting kamu datang lah saja ah.

Berazam tah sempena 2009 ani. adangtah badar. buntu kang parut. baiktah bawa bepaluh. nada itam mua ni main belimbu ani. mun itam jua aku mmbarus sampai putih. no worries. pembarus ku masih okay ni. makai umu trojan ku. dijamin putih mcm si bokh 100%. mun nya bedarah2 tahan saja. andangnya effect mutihkan muka ani awal2nya merah memerah. tahan saja sakit. wawawa XD

huhu. bah once again. datang. majal ku ni.

sign out,
i211.
gangster for lifee.