UIC Brothers

2011-12-16T00:43:00.001+08:00

Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut :"Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?"

Lalu Abu menjawab, "Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4, kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya seharusnya berada di tempat yang sama juga!".

Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua.Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan tersebut kepada pengetua.Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan berkelakuan baik.

Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan
pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.

Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
Abu: 9
Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
Abu: 36

Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2 UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, "Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya berada di darjah 6",

Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, "Saya ada soalan saya
sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?". Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
Abu: (berfikir) Kaki

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar saya?
Abu: Saku

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf "K" akhir dengan "A", ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis keputihan?
Abu: Kelapa

Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna "pink", bila keluar lembik dan melekit?
Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, siAbu
terus menjawab.
Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)

Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?
Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia
sempat hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.
Abu: Bersalaman

Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk siapakah saya,okay?
Abu: Baik Cikgu

Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya untuk saya berdiri.Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.
Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.
Abu: Khemah

Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dulu.
Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas Nescafe 3in1.
Abu: Cincin perkahwinan

Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.
Sekali lagi pengetua rasa amat resah dengan soalan yang di ajukan oleh Cikgu Murni dan ingin membantah, tapi si Abu mendahuluinya.
Abu: Hidung

Cikgu Murni: Saya batang yang keras. Hujungnya tajam. Saya akan datang dan masuk dengan lajunya.
Abu: Anak panah

Cikgu Murni: Sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan dalam Bahasa Inggeris, okay?
Abu: Okay

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and end in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Abu: Firetruck

Cikgu Murni: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if you dont get it you have to use your hand.
Abu: Fork

Cikgu Murni: What is it that all men have one of. It's longer on some men than on others, the pope does not use his, and a man gives it to his wife after they are married?
Abu: Surname

Cikgu Murni: What part of the man has no bones but has muscles, lots of veins and loves pumping?
Abu: Heart

Pengetua menghembuskan nafas kelegaan bila mendengar jawapan yang diberikan oleh si Abu, lantas berkata "Baik hantar murid ini ke Universiti Malaya;
jawapan yang saya fikirkan semuanya sama".

Sak Lii Ko Eyy....Bana Tah Tu!!

2011-06-29T21:51:00.003+08:00

Ada2 saja urg Brunei ani..dulu sticker 'Monster'.. masa ani sticker sakliikoeyy & banatahtu tia lgi hahaha cubatah sak my lir eh or suck lir ku eh, baru rugged bunyinya mmhkayy inda cali

#btt

solat jumaat

2011-06-24T19:41:00.002+08:00

today hari jumaat,

opps lupa bagi salam, assalamualaikum brothers. sak ma kok.

today hari jumaat, baru ku prasan,

kajap lagi solat jumaat,

teahir tia ku ni usulnya as always,

paham paham saja BMW

mmmmmhhhh #eyy #nbp

signing off,

#btt

New Post

2011-06-19T00:50:00.003+08:00

salam brothers!!

ketani sebagai urang islam beriman anii, ketani mesti membuat apa apa ani ikhlas, sama bila memandang urang ani jgn kita bersangka buruk, tau ku tu kamu ani, asal meliat muka c Gman saja, dalam hati tu tarus 'muka perogol ni anak ani, nda baik ni ia ani rusak ni, nda buleh luan rapat sama ia ani eh' so conclusion nya, kamu jgn cmatu, mesti hufnozun, ah atu ertinya ketani mesti bersangka baik arah urg, jgn luan di ikutkan hati atu kan mngucap urg tah knya sangka buruk tah kanya. so next time kamu jumpa c gman mesti cmani dalam hati 'eh bercahaya muka nya anak ani, baik ni ia ani usulnya mcm imam' tapi jgn kamu cakap cmatu dalam hati bila jumpa c najib, tau kamu tu pasal apa? ah atu terpulang arah kamu lah, confirm ni cjat suka ni cmani ah, tau ia tu jawapan nya pasal apa.

pasaaaaaaaaaaaaaal c najib lupa masang lampung biliknya, okay inda cali. bari kan menampar kanya inda aku ani, mun dalam post ni ada like button, confirm cjat ni awal melike. aku bukan nya apaa, sini kana ajar utk menyampaikan apa apa saja ilmu yg ku ada, iatah ku share ani. bukan nya maksudnya aku ni alim riyak brabis, ku daub kamu kang, tau jua kamu aku kali, kalau kana ajak :

scene 1

shamsul hisham 'jim, maritah ketani solat berjemaah zuhur sebelum ktani masuk class kul 1 ptg krg atu.'

nurazim 'ehh sakit tia kepala ku ani, mesti berehat ni dulu, krg saja ku solat'

scene 2

najib annuar 'bah ketani ke masjid serusop dulu ah solat asar, krg nda smpat, tani lagi kan main futsal, miss krg'

nurazim 'bah agatah kau kesana dulu, aku kajap lagi kesana tu'

dalam hati nurazim 'tunggu tah kau smpai kiamat, nda ku hada tu wawa'

ah ia sudah tu aku slalunya, paham sudah kamu kali eh, inda cmatu, kalau ngam sudah nada lagi alasan kan ku bagi, paksa jua ku ikut solat, atu pun time sudah bediri kan solat, aku tah paling last betakbir tu, rasa jua kan ngacau kamu supaya ketawa time solat. inda cmatu, ku tunggu kamu tunduk rukuk, iatah sudah masanya ku nyucuk jubur kamu tu smpai inda sah jua solat kamu hahaha. rindu ku mbuat cmatu lagi eh, nanti kamu d rumah c ehsan, time ia melanja sungkai, ia confirm ni melanja tiap tahun jgn tah watir, iatah rezeki nya murah berabis atu, dapat scholarship DANA, dapat 3 A time A level, penampar ku kanya ia nda daapat, nanti kau.

aku mempost ani banarnya kan remind kamu, main bula sama sama nanti ah bulan july, aku rindu main sama kamu, yg pelawak time main bula seperti basit the tidur man, najib the backheel inda bemata man, izzat the finisher, orno the buta reverse kereta malar kan telanggar man, hakeem the gaga ku eh man, hajiq the ole kan urg man, amir the karas membintih kaki man, nurazim the keluangman mmmmmh.

so atu plg saja, bah main nanti ah bula, gian ku, awu seet sudah ku memblow kaki ah, nda mau keluar2 nya liquid ah, kau cana buleh ada atu? awuwah negga kali, smpai ke kaki tu alir nya, patut jua memblow kaki wawa. nda ia dapat differentiate mana satu kaki mana satu anu nya wawawaa, nadawah brooo.

okay, ukhwah!

tutong guy =D

Welcome home!!

2011-06-14T13:23:00.002+08:00

this video is dedicated to uic brothers yg baru balik/kan balik/or yg inda balik2 haha

exam period

2011-06-07T09:26:00.004+08:00

salam brothers,

those yang masih d UK, prasan ku banyak yg sudah habis examnya or on the way kan abis, or alum lagi start, mcm kami urang d loughborough, andangnya sudah tah kampung, exam lagi ahir, sabar saja. tadi aku baru habis exam module Fluid Mechanics, bukan inda payah berabis, pasal paip keluar, mati payah nyamu ingatnya plumber kali aku ani, bnyk tnya nya pasal paip. awuu awuuu tau ku kamu nda betanya, biar tia bah skati ku bah mbgtau, aku wah iski ni kan mbgtau ah.

esuk engineering mechanics & dynamics, atu banar sapa yg ada module atuu, baik tah yg sapa ada pilihan utk ambil certain module, jgn tah d ambil tu dynamics ah, payah banar, tapi bagi kes ku, nda hulah, bekelai bebukut ku pebaik sama lecturer ah, nda jua dapat ku singkirkan tu module dynamics ah. mmmh banar tah tu.

to those yang still ada exam, bittaufik wannajah brothers, tu liat tu, mcm2 sudah word arabb ku belajar semenjak ku sini ani, jgn logha ah kamuuu, tau kamu tu logha ni apa? heh cek sendiri google translator ahh, kalau google tu merati jua cakap arab.

and those UIC brothers yang got their results already yg ITB UBD, congratulationss!! =D

chris boon aka penipu mati, i heard u going to australia, congrats, lanja nanti excapade, eyah mcm tah ia membaca ni ah, tapi peduli ia eh cina ah wawawaa.

jzzk,

gman mahli.

hahahahaha cali tu cali.

Life in UK part 2

2011-05-28T08:29:00.006+08:00

Assalamualaikum salam sejahtera wahai sahabat.

So, alhamdulillah lah lagi ah kitani masih dapat ketemu dan menghirup udara segar ari ani ah. yg utama sekali kitani patut besyukur kerna masih dapat hidup didunia ani ah. kamu inda tau manatau ada urg di sebelah dunia atu ah mati kana timbak kah apa. eyah majal. berepeat. ada urg sasak ni nda ingin ni ustat beceramah cmani2 ani. ani utk kebaikan lai. bukannya apa. ustat kan share2 sikit. ku terajang kamu plang krg kan bebunkan perkara2 cmani ani. hahah

So tadi banarnya, ada peminat ustat betanya minta update blog, ustat tipu tadi malas update, wuu, kana tipu si tiqah ah. aku otw mengupdate bah tadi. hahaha. andangnya ni aku ani hipokrit. manggil diri ustat sama jua buat dusa menipu. wawawa. nada deh. nada ada ustat ni aku ani. mmbarigali jua sijat ani kan jadi ustat badan pindik, jubur itam masih. wang mun jubur atu masih itam, itam jua hati tu masih, jangantah kan hipokrit. mun si baasit smua itam tu. atu nda ku tau tu ah. jadi apa2 pn nda layak tu. jadi urg minyak saja. wawawa. si ajim atu barutah ustat tu. ia suka tu share2 atu. ahh mengenai share2 ani kamu nda paham ni apa share2 ani n cmana rxn muka. mari aku nunjukkan. ia cmani ni expressi mukanya.

eh salah. ani mua indun perabuk tabal kumis ni. kamu liat tu kumisnya mmbari watir ah. kalah2 datuk K. cam staie bekumis2. burung kulup, hancing, mua makin itam, jubur damit, itam lagi, puting canggar, alum jua betitle datuk. nada agat. mun cgman meiat inda ya ingin ni urg bekumis tabal cmani ani. di ambat2 kucah2 nya kau krg. hahaha. so banarnya cmani expression muka yg betul:

eh salah lagi. ani nada layak kan beshare2 ni. ia di share ada kali. liat tu usulnya ah. mcm thailand pundan melayah2 di kianggeh. rais krg mua atu wang. sadar2 tah. kan ujung dunia ni. banyak sudah kes homoseksual masani ani. kau jangantah kan ikut jadi homoseksual jua. ku suruh krg si jijan merogol kau. jangan kau. hahah. bah ani serius ni cmani banarnya mua masa becakap "salam, ah kan share sikit ah"

cuba kamu liat tu bari kan nampar sorg2 kan. mmbari kan mengayas biji ani ke muka sorg2 except yg tangah2 atu lah. jangan di ayas. putih sudah muanya. hehehe. tu nah empat2 urg ah hitam lagam bedaki sorg2 kalah2 askar negro ah. yg sebalah kanan sekali atu lah. kamu liat tu muanya ah. mmbari gerigitan ah. tabam lagi. usulnya banar eh. mcm shah rukh khan sudah. mmbari kan digigit, chuppy. eeee. yg sbalahnya atu apatah lagi tu usulnya kebenaran mcm imam tutung ah. usul ganya mcm imam, ulah mcm setan. eh salah, kalah setan. mcm dajal lah kali. jangan tertipu dengan muanya yg innocent atu. hahaha. yg damit atu cuba kamu liat tu. eh malas ku kan becakap eh. meliat pn andang sudah mmbari kan di pijak2 muanya atu sampai puas. sama jua tu yg sebalah kiri sekali atu. sigung sekali pacah memacah kali bijinya atu. jangantah kan share2. cubatah kamu bayangkan sorg2 mua cmani. pastu becakap kan share ah anu pasal kebaikan. nada layak eh. banartah. hahaha. mun kamu kan mau tau cmana expression mua urg kebenaran ani lagi ah kamu youtube tah sndiri lagu almawlid baru ah. liat saja mua si lah. sudah pn aku menulis2 dalam blog ani. aku lagi kan kamu suruh search youtube? awu halum wang. halum. cium dlu keletiak ku ani. awu. putihkan dulu jubur kamu atu. not in a thousand years. tu tau kamu apa ertinya tu? so fast forward, pasal lagu atu, nda plang ku mengucap lahh. anu belagu pasal islam atu banar bagus plang. p mua kebenaran atu eh mmbari kan meraum bah. hahah

soo. jauh sudah crita ku ani ah. ani aku crita pasal life in uk lah ah. dua point lah saja.

6) ahh ani bagi sapa2 yg kan mengejar impian ke UK atu. awal lah ku warning ah. baiktah mmbali buku iqra sama buku ugama2 di brunei. revision tah kamu dulu ah mengenai hukum2 islam. jgntah memalukan diri sndiri dsini. bukannya apa, krg kamu yg malu krg mun ada Quranic circle or apa dsini. trust me. aku sudah merasai. hawar bah rasanya. urg lain mmbaca Quran lancar. diri ani mmbaca testuck2. anu asal mmbaca satu patah beranti, satu patah beranti. ampus lagi tu abis napas. nada eh. nada harapan kan mmbaca. mun Quran atu betangan bekaki kana tampar kana terajang sudah kali ni muaku ani luan babal mmbaca. andangnya ni geng. apa jua dulu class Quran class jim sama durg sajim. anu class buncit mmbaca iqra ganya. urg lain mmbaca Quran sudah. andang nasib cmani ni jengg. haha

7) point numbur 7. nda ku tepikir. so lu pikirlah sendiri. wawawa.

i211.

wafeeq and nur azim punya relationship

2011-05-27T22:20:00.008+08:00

yo wassap?

assalamualaikum brothers,

apa kabar anda? disini saya sehat saja makin tough, aku ngangkat basi saja ni 100kg minum protein 15 cawan setiap hari, mmmh eksen ku saja. awu awu aku makin lampuh, jgn saja tkajut nanti meliat. ahh ni nah aku kan post ni pasal relationship c nur azim dengan c wafeeq arsad, drg dua ni kirakan bestfriend lah ni (ptuii tia karang). aku serius ni time ni nada masa ku kan beibun.

kami dulu slalu belajar dalam library, physical kami dalam library pulang tapi minda kami melayang, jgn kamu silap tu. headset andang d telinga tu mendangar lagu kirakan utk nanangkan jiwa kami lah tu supaaya inda stress belajar, kunun nya lah tu, tapi makin stress ada pulang. well aku nda plg tau apakan d ceritakan relationship ku sama c wafeeq ani, pasalnya kami ni andang inda kan bekurapak ni lau bedua duaan, apa nya uwang putih, "awkward" ah ia sudah tu word paling sesuai utk describe relationship kami ani.

asal ja kami bedua, ah confirm tu kami mencari headset dalam beg, walaupun andang dalam hati tau sdh headset tinggal d rumah, ah paksalah eksen2 jua mencari batah2 dalam beg ah, mcm basar banar saja bah beg kami atu. kadang2 eksen2 tidur belimpang dengan mengatakan basar2 "eh ngantuk ku eh" ah pastu paham2 lah mengampai atas meja tapi inda jua tidurnya. ada jua sometimes, keluarkan mubail dari paket tu takan2 katik2 mubail ah, eksen2 bemsg sama urang, barigali banar aku atu, mcm ramai saja dgn ku bemsg, ia jua knya slalu msg parents minta ambil kul brapa. iatah betapa rapatnya kami berdua tu kalau kamu kan tau.

so aku bagi gambar lah ah supaya dpt kamu bayangkan hubungan kami ani:

tu liat tu headset ah lau kamu nampak, confirm ada tu. must have item kami tu kalau kami kana tingalkan berdua duaan together gether.

liat tu betapa awkward nya senyuman kami berdua

liat tu awkward pose kami ah, aku mikir kan maluk ia plg ni time kan bgambar ani, tapi mcm makin awkward, paksa lah cmatu jadi nya pose ku. ia pun bepikir tu kan maluk aku, tapi malu.

tantu kamu get a picture sudah lah ni cana hebatnya kisah friendship kami ani, the only time kami becakap is time main fifa, or cerita pasal bula. tapi topic nya and script kami confirm sama everytime tu "wang maietah blawan pipa" "lawa ah goal man u dmalam" "kalok tu goal mu arah pipa ah". smpai twitter pun ah, batah hantap sudah masing2 ada twitter, kemarin baru tah kan follow each other, awkward jua sudah tu kami atu, nda lagi kan berani bah nakan request follow arah masing2 ah.

ah ani ku kan nyampaikan message lah ah arahnya, baik jua makai arah blogspot ani, daripada ku nulis surat pastu taruh arah butul, tarus ku umbankan ke laut, atu smpai ku tua pun nda kali sampai dapan rumahnya, lain lah kalau andang jua anak ani tinggal d laut. so message ku arahnya "apa kabar mu?" ". . ." *btapuk bawah blanket*

cheers,

nur azim

style rambut member2 uic dulu dan sekarang

2011-05-27T20:26:00.011+08:00

Assalamualaikum UIC brothers sekalian..

apa khabar my bros smua? ku harap kamu sihat walafiat dsamping kluarga yang tersayang..eyahh mcm mmbuat karangan surat kiriman darjah 6 eh haha post yg ku buat ani aku saja2 mmbuat..kn memeriahkn blog ani mcm zaman muda2 dulu haha..have you ever wondered cemana rambut member2 uic dulu?tu nah liat tia dbawah ah..3 urg saja dulu ku buat..nanti lagi ku post

1. Hafiz Aqilah aka fiz qilah, fizz deneiro, eiz zo (mihirrrr..ptuii)

dulu rambutnya gundul mcm pala apa nah?*si orno tau ni, mun pasal kepala2, smua ia tau tu haha* tpi masani rambutnya haiseh-men~ ramai dah bini2 tpikat n bguna arhnya tpi drejectnya smua pasal ia suka sama kaum sejenis aka ia gay haha ia suka bini2 di kianggeh saja haha no wonder foursquarenya ia malar check in d kianggeh malam2 hahaha nadadeh jk

2. Andrew Kwang

haha dulu nerd and chubby usulnya si kwang ani tpi masani semua panjang..badan panjang, rambut panjang, janggut panjang and dbawahnya pun panjang kali (urg utak kuning especially si orno tau ni haha mun kediaku, ndaku tau eh mmh)

3. Haji Faizul aka Charlie (prasan urg putih anak ani)

can you spot the difference?nada kan?haha andang nada anak ani..cemani saja usul rambutnya dari damit k basar. anu gundul sajaa..ada kali sebabnya. pasal anu kali..pasal..ntah eh..pakar sexology mcm si orno tau ni ( si orno ganya ku sabut haha eh napaan? saklikoeh). Tapi jangan nda galat si gpijul ani, sejak ia kna galar Charlie, makin social prangainya. paluk sana, paluk sini mun jumpa kawannya bini2 (Astagafirullah) hahaha nadawah g...

bh atu sja

Cheers~~

uic's 9

2011-05-27T04:49:00.005+08:00

salam,

jzzk to our brother from rimba Izzat Zaini abang pendek abang kiut for his post below, today, ok let me introduce myself again, since im on top of my form nowadays, yeah baby yeah, im nur azim the tutong guy. skali ku nya ku on form ni mempost ah, awu aku jobless disini ah jgn th di ucap, ku tampar kamu karang.

aku ada kan nambah jua lah ah curhat dari abang pendek ktani atu, aku ada jua lah kan share sedikit (sentence ani cali ni mun kamu tarus meliat facial expression ku, nanti tah mun ku balik ku ngajar kamu sorang2 cana becakap sentence "aku kan share jua lah sikit" dengan facial expression nya yang ngam lurus, jgn tah kan diubah2 lagi) anyways, aku kan share lah ah dikit eyah memajal alah kaling. aku kn cerita pasal CHAVS ani, ye anak anak cuba sebut CHAVS, sama tu sabutan nya dangan CHEF, mun kamu dgr for the 1st time macam CHEF plg tu. tpi jgn kamu suruh c gman menyabut eh, katar2 karang bibir nya, payah ia kan menyabut tu english tah lagi.

anyways, chav ani kawan ku niii di sini ahh jgn kan macam2 ah, tantu kamu btnya ni dalam hati "apakan chav ani ah?" ahh ni nahhh, nya urang picture speaks a thousand words, ah catu lah inglish nya aku ni nda jua berapa pandai inglish ni, awu kamu tah saja english lawa, aku tah saja bida. ni nah gambar nya :

cuba liat tu 2 urang dapan ahh, membarikan memalitkan bah muka drg ni makai biji c jijan.

awuwah awuwah eksen ku wah, bukan chav tu diatas ah, atu just pure poklen saja tu wawaawawa. mun chav nya disini mcm durang dua atu wah, suka plg ku tu mengatil, cute kali muka drg atu bulehhh. yg sblah kanan tu lah cute dgn pala nya gundul ah, atu yg kiri bida tu eh, mahkluk paling bida ku pernah liat wawawa eksen joke2 saja tu ah jat =p jgn ke hati.

ani baru chav banar:

membari takut jua tu usul durang dgn baju2 drg cmatu lagi tu, iatah fashion drg tu, lau kamu liat urang cmani bejalan, baik tah berwaspada, hanya malik gerhana sama geng nya c hitam n tuyulnya atu saja yg dapat melaawan drg ani ni.

tapi guys aku kan liat movie nii di atas, so aku sambung sooon ah hehehehe.

cheers,

nur azim

Life in UK

2011-05-27T01:45:00.004+08:00

Assalamualaikum again brothers and sisters.

Alhamdulillah, hari ani kita masih dapat bangun dari tidur n hidup didunia yg indah ani ah. Syukur lah ah. astahh. bukannya kan diketawakan ni barang cmani ani. kamu inda tau manatau ada kalangan manusia di negeri lain nda dapat bangun dari tdur pasal meninggal. ahh antara manatau ia kana rogol pastu kana bunuh, kana cangak, kana lapaskan oxygen tubenya, kana lamaskan uleh lamak big boss, ahh, kamu perkara cmani ani bukannya kan dijadikan pebebunan ni. mcm si osama atu. baru ya bangun tdur kana serbu bah. mati odah. headshot. kompom nda g benyawa. masani menjawab soalan malaikat ni. mudahan kau selamat wang ah. nah tu jauh tah plang nah critaku. menshare2 tah ku plang. awu kamu urg dbrunei nda ingin ni anu pasal islam2 ani. aku paham tu. kami yg disini ani tepakai ni barang2 cmani ani. hahaha.

So cmani. aku straight to the point lah ah life in uk ani. btw post ani more to curhat lah ah. nda ku belawak ni. belawak pn nda jua kamu kecalian. kamu diam shaaaa.

1) buring. sunyi. nda banyak kawan. mmbari kesian kan. apa lagi kalau urg mcm aku ani. anu tinggal sama international. urg international ani, durg ani ada masalah utak sikit ni sama masalah jam. ntah inda meliat jam pakah, atau andang inda pandai mmbaca jam. inda pernah kana ajar dari dulu kali cana liat jam. talur2an usulnya. anu subuh2 pkul 2 pagi barutah kan masak2. ntah masak supper kah dinner kah breakfast nda ku tau. bebau lagi. kalingnya masak anu masakan asli durg. si baasit kegemarannya ni. kari. sampai ke bilik bah baunya. bajuku dalam almari atu pn bau kari. paksabah mmbali febreeze menspray almari hari2. sanak kali jua misin self service tesco atu meliat febreeze ganya kana scan. anu dbrunei jarang makai minyak harum sini paksa jua lah mmbali. nda ulah. krg kana pikir kaling di uni atu bau kari. heran jua urg tu ah. muanya anak ani mcm cina, asian, nda jua itam. ndakan kaling. how meh? atu kaling, anu cinanya masak babi saja. sama jua baunya mmbari kan muntah. inda ku paham kaling n cina uk ani. nda be adab sopan. cubatah masak atu bsai2 sikit. malam bah pukul 8. bukan kul 2am. kulup tah jua banar. eyah out. rasa jua bah kan ngucap atu. nada lagi menjaga kebersihan tu. eh mun kamu meliat dapurku mmbari gali bah. mcm tempat pembuangan sampah. dmana2 bah durg mmbuang sampah durg ah. pinggan mangkuk g nda becuci. bekulat kulat bah. cuba liat cina n kaling brunei, harold and kumar, naveen and yeefah. be adab sopan bah.

2) nada dgh beskype. sama jua. nasib ku andang cmani kali bah mmbari kesian. teman2 brunei ku selalu tu skype tiap minggu sama family. "hye bah, hye ma, behapa kamu tu? apada baru?" eh mendaup bah. eyah jeles. aku biasalah tiap minggu. mendangar durg skype pn jaditah. limpang2 ganya ku tu ddapur durg sorg2. mun bukan ddapur diatas katil ku tu sorg2 chill skype sama dinding saja melangui2. dapat dkira bah dalam setaun brapa kali ku skype. atupun anu skype saja. mcm "soo.. apada?' pastu nda batah abis tia. eyah kesian jua aku atu ah. nda apa. biasa udah. dbrunei sama jua bejalan sampai subuh. jarang balik rumah. idup bujang geng. bah sapa mau mndgni ku skype tiap minggu? pretend saja jadi familyku. wawawa

3) height problem. ahh ani common ni masalah urg brunei di UK. asal kemana2 mesti melangui. iatah bantal tdur paksa tinggi tu belatih melangui. tapi ada jua advantagenya lah. mun ada bini2 lawa + tinggi mcm stacy keibler. angle mata atu ngam tu menuju tempat yg diinginkan. if u noe wat i mean. hehehe. si orno paham saja ni topic cmani ani. ia punya ni. astaghafirullah. betulkan niat izzat. hahahha. iatah mmbarinya malar jalan lintang pukang tu lain plang di fokus. pastu telanggar negga. kajar2 tah kaki tu. cakap sorry banyak kali tu ahh. negga rilek ganya menulung. hahah

4) chav problem. ahh. ani di MS femes plang diri ani menyamseng. bekelaie sama cgu pn pernah. disini kelaie sama kanak2 pn payah2an. mana nda. kanak2nya ani lampuh. bagak lagi. tinggi lagi sama. ramai lagi geng2nya yg basar2. kalah tu brijap si malik gerhana ah. brijap lagi ni chav sini ah. kana bawa cakap english odahh. nda tejawab. yg ku paham ganya durg cakap fuck fuck atu ganya ku tau. payah bah nada google translator. mun durg kan cakap english dalam computer manasajaa. hahaha. tapi nda smualah. kanak2 poklen lah yg anu buduh2 nda bepelajaran. eyah kasar. kes sasak sudah ni. hahaha. especially time winter tah. masa durg keluartu. mcm polar bear. ngumban2 snowball tah ya tu. ingatnya nda sakit kali. aku astaa bedandam ku tu. balik brunei ngangkat basi ku ni. taun dapan aku revenge ku tu. mcm thor. nada ku mmbagi chance tu kanak2 lampuh sial bangsat pukima ah.

5) weather. eh dulu cita2 ku kan ke uk ani pasal kan main snow. eyah dulu iski tu mcm si banar. udah kemari nyasal. sajuk brabis bah. tempat bepanas lagi inda banyak. talur2an. nyusahkan bah weather sini ani. springnya ani sajuk tia jua anginnya. mun dbrunei sanang saja bah kan bejalan2. bslipar, sluar pindik, baju tshirt. sudah. nda bebaju makai spendet pn buliih. ani sini ani paksa full kit, sluar panjang, baju lapis, baju biasa, jacket, stukin, kasut. eh ntah eh. padahal kan ke uni jua ganya. paksa jua belawa2 full kit luan sajuk bah. setiap hari lagi paksa mencek temperature tu. mun sajuk banar pakai jacket tabal. mun nda pakai jacket nipis. nyusahkan kan. tdur sini ani lagi luan nyaman sampai kadang2 bangun patang bah. teskip lecture. nyaman bah sajuknya ani. iatah mmbari banci. iatah mmbuatnya diri ani besyukur pasal masih dapat bangun n idup. mmbari ijap bah tu mun sudah bangun kul 6pm. mun ngam mati cmana. hahah. me wax rambut pn useless ni sini. makai wax tu ah. udah keluar swushh anginnya kuat. rusak rambut slajur. odah. bida usul. mcm ambuk. iatah mmbarinya malas kan makai wax.

bah 5 point lah saja dulu. insyaAllah ada ustat nyambung lagi di kemudian hari lah ah. mun panjang umur murah rezeki lah jua tu. alhamdulillah syukur. ukhwah brader. ntah kamu eh.

i211.

Bulaaa

2011-05-26T08:32:00.003+08:00

salam brothers sekalian,

active aku atu ah, duulu kamu ucap ucap aku inda pandai kan mempost, ambung lah apalah, ni nahhh Nur Azim Pendekar Sinaut Tutong nii, black belt besilat kali bulehhhh, gucci lagi jenamanya. paham kamu tu? joke tu yo, aku kali kanya kecalian tu tepakai, so kamu diam sha eleksha kamu saana *gigit kamu karang eh, chuppy*

so aku disini ani baru abis revision for the night of wednesday, antam eh, google translator pun nda lagi pandai kan translate english ku atu, 'undefined' katanya. stress ku nyamuuuu, awu aku pandai jua stress ni walaupun aku ni kamu liat slalu senyum2, senyum tu tanda sedakah wah tu, bah jap ah, kemari kamu duduk aku kan share lah sedikit..... muha kamu lah! ngalih ku kan menshare, nanti tah saja.

aku banar nya rindu wah kan main sama the UIC brothers ani, bukan main atas katil ehh, ah ani c orno suka ni, by the time ia baca sentence tadi atu, beteriak tu ia happy, subject nya tu mun barang2 cmatu atu, confirm gila chex. muha saja putih, mun mcm c basit okay lah, andang jua inda putih okay out, wth.

anyways aku rindu kan main bula sama kamu, honestly walaupun tani tu main inda seberapa *points to izzuddin* tapi aku tepakai dgn kerenah masing2, as u all know kali sudah ah famous niii urang nya yg paling handal buat move 'around the wall' dapan palang, tapi slalu inda goal, sapa tu nahhh??

none other than our favourite boyy izzat zaini, those who guessed it wrong tadi, confirm talo, anu tarang2 slalu kali ia dapan2 palang inda goal, like duhhhh. who else lagi kan?

tuuu cuba kamu liat tuu ia dribbling ah, ngalahi cristiano ronaldo n messi combine tu eh. cukup lagi dangan glove nya ah bagas besawah padi kali ah, brgkali ia kana gambar ni time ia main saja2 ni smntara nunggu padi nya masak. iatah hijau saja surrounding nya atu, tmpat besawah wah tu. cukup lagi baju nya tarang banar ani, antah2 ia ani kana taruh jadi urang-urang kali wah utk nakut kan burung sama binatang buas mcm gorilla *points to najib annuar*

point ku post ani bukan plg ada papa, kanya buring ku bah kalau sini main bula nada as fun as mcm aku main sama kamu, where tani punya players ada mcm2 habit, c najib annuar dgn backheel nya yg slalu terpassing opponent tarus drg score, manakah ia menaruh biji matanya, d blakang arah rambut pakah yang ia pengan massing kebelakang inda meliat atu. c basit dengan.... well just basit, tidur. antah anak ani pun nda ku paham, time main bula jua lah tidur. tpi on the bright side nya drg ani, eh salah ni aku ah, drg ni nada ada bright side, dark side ni drg ah sal drg niii bukan jua bright complexion nya. so aku rephrase balik, on the dark side nya, well drg ni key players to our team plg. saja wah muji, indakan menghina saja, stereotype tia jadinya, UIC brothers = selalu menghina kawan sendiri.

c mijan dengan alasan nya 'ngalih main futsal ani eh, mun main padang inda ku ngalih', antah cana buleh ia kengalihan futsal yg tarang2 tani slalu main slow tempo atu pun ngalih, padang yg basar banar atu plg ia nda ngalih, ah ia saja paham tu, biarkan tia. c haziq dengan kelicikan nya berskill kadang2 smpai ke lungkang smpai out of area smpai antah ah, lau buleh di bawanya kali smpai ke limbang, inda ia kan massing tu, nanti tah ku ngumpul usin, kami sedakah kan kau bula, ah main tah kau dribble smpai ke gua nipah d sarawak kah, nda kami kan ingau tu. ada jua usul2 urg gua kau atu, ah ngam tah tu trus tinggal sana wawawa nadawah ziq =p

panjang plg lagi ni, nex time ku sambung ah sooon lah, sal ada kan ku post lagi ni, pasal urg yg dulu bekumis labat ngalahi tu labat rumput arah sawah padi ah, tpi skrg ni inda lagi bekumis, hensem sudah. paham2 saja ah siapa. ambung sudah ku liat anak atu inda lagi friendly, memayuk biji mu atu inda batah tu.

aku kan tidur now, lalah ku sudah bro. smua yg ku post tu yg menghina2 tu main2 saja tu, supaya cali, antah2 aku kanya kecalian tu ah, tpi pduli apa ku, lau mau kamu mbuat, kamu luan kan ngomplain saja ah.

salam,

nur azim.

Night and Day

2011-05-26T06:00:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum brothers.

Yet another post. ani post yg pindik2 saja ah mcm si judin pindiknya. mcm midget. dwarf kah. eh jangantah marah2 ani wah bro. sapa marah lakas tua and hence makin bongkok therefore jadi pindik lagi. heheheh. peace bro. peace.

So aku sering ditanya, "abang, bagaimana nak membezakan antara siang dan malam? atau night and day?" Aku ani banarnya jenisnya nda suka bepikir bah. So a picture ani can describe a thousand words kan. So aku bagi gambar lah saja ah beza siang dan malam.

Nah obvious difference kan, yg sebalah kiri atu anu galap hantap kalah2 si kalimuthu atu ahh iatah anu menunjukkan malam tu. yg kanan tarang sikit, hence siang. yg sebalah kiri atu andangnya tu ia makai anu baju tarang. pikirnya ia beparam drumah saja atu makin putih tah tu. baju tarang pebaik masih jua nampak galap. wang apa nya sajim, nuhun nabsu nunggu putih. kau bagi badak tabal2 nda jua mau tu, kakal jua galap,hitam,lagam, melakat2, bedaki2 eyah over. mun nya andang sudah asal negga, sampai mati pn negga. jangan silap. walau galap bro, size dibawah atu mau tau wah ah. negga kaliah. jarang kan damit burungnya. hehehehe. nada wah babyseet, jgntah marah nah. okaylah. kalau meliat gambar ani aku bulih katakan kau atu kira sunset lah tu. awal2 oren berderang kira pukul 6pm lah tu sit ah. dah tu galap tiaaa. sampai malam. mmmmhhh

In the middle of the night, the dark knight rises, serving the world, prevailing justice.

Baasit Taj, The Dark Knight.

i211.

PENJENAYAH LEPAS

2011-05-26T00:18:00.008+08:00

BANDAR- Tepat jam 5.48 pagi tadi, seorang warganegara brunei, hitam, dipercayai telah berjaya melarikan diri dari headquarters police bandar. Lelaki berkenaan dipercayai adalah salah satu daripada orang kanan malik gerhana bulan @ usop. Beliau mampu menggusti dan mewrestling 3 anggota CID polis dengan mudah sebelum beliau berjaya merubuhi dinding-dinding dan pintu kayu dalam bangunan polis itu. Beliau pula berjaya menculik satu civilian sebagai hostage sebelum menyerahkan hostage itu kepada pihak polis agar beliau dapat melarikan diri ke arah utara. Menurut mangsa, lelaki berkenaan sungguh hitam dan lampuh sekali. Muka suspek sungguh gelap dan bengis seakan2 gorilla lapar. Hidung beliau sungguh besar. Dan kulit beliau sungguh gelap seakan2 tidak dapat dibezakan antara baju hitam atau kulit. Badan beliau juga dipercayai memiliki satu ciuman yang sungguh hangit hingga boleh membuat seseorang pengsan. Mangsa hampir-hampir pengsan olehnya. Mangsa sekarang sedang dirawat di hospital. Pihak Polis ingin menyarankan kepada pihak public supaya berhati-hati bila berjalan2 terutama sekali pada waktu malam kerana dipercayai suspek dikatakan memiliki ability 'camouflage' pada waktu malam. Mata biasa tidak akan dapat melihat beliau di tempat-tempat gelap. Pihak public juga dikehendaki untuk menghubungi pihak polis jika sesiapa berjaya menemui suspek tersebut. Sebagai amaran, jangan sesekali mencuba untuk menangkap suspek seorang diri, silalah hubungi pihak polis terlebih dahulu, janganlah luan babal dan mentingal. Gambar suspek adalah seperti berikut:

Suspek di atas juga dipercayai memiliki alat-alat senjata bagi melakukan jenayah beliau.

Suspek di atas dipercayai memiliki tuyul sebagai teman untuk melakukan semua jenayah-jenayah beliau. Dipercayai suspek kini sedang menuju ke arah tuyul beliau. Roadblock dimana-mana 24 hours akan di adakan di seluruh brunei sebagai tindakan safety precaution agar suspek serta tuyulnya dapat ditemui. Pihak public diharap jangan luan kan marah-marah2 saja kerna suspek dicari ini sungguh bahaya. Lihat gambar atas jika tidak percaya. Tuyul milik suspek dipercayai memiliki rupa sebegini:

Sekali lagi di sarankan agar pihak public dapat menghubungi pihak polis jika berjaya ketemunin suspek serta tuyulnya ini. Dipercayai penangkapan suspek di atas adalah langkah pertama bagi menangkap suspek utama malik gerhana bulan yang sekarang dipercayai telah berjaya mendapat scholarship untuk melanjutkan bidang jenayah beliau:

Ganas kan? memang. amat ganas.

Tiga suspek di atas merupaka top of the polis wanted list pada masa ini. Jadi pihak public, tulung. AWAS.

i211.

funny juice ilang sudah. haha

2011-05-25T20:19:00.002+08:00

selamat datang ke blog uic,
blog dahulunya mati, kini ingin kembali,

update sikit2, mun inda mau jangantah pulang
nya Newboyz, sejarah mungkin berulang.

nda ku sangka ku kan lawat semula blog tani ani,

banyak sudah perubahan kitani ani,

dulu uic 'gangsters' konon perasan samseng,

ani janggut labat sudah mengalahi kambing,

Ada perubahan sangat ketara,

ada yang belakon jadi alim ulama,

urang tutong jangan plg terasa,

ukhwah bro kita brothers sama-sama!

hahaha

dua tiga kucing berlari,

pembuka pantun kalau nada idea lagi,

harap kamu update jua sekali dua kali,

lagi banyak, lagi disukai. hehehe

piss out.

Curhat part 2 versi Nur Azim B012317

2011-05-25T20:01:00.004+08:00

salam sejahtera brothers ku UIC sekalian yang tidak jemu2 merefresh2 blog ani manatau ada post baru kah nda haha, ini saya ingin menyambung curhat c abang pendek bawah ani i211, brigali namanya ani, apatah tu i211 ah, perabuk tah banaaa hehehe jus kidding bro no hard feelings yeah =D.

aku kan mengeluarkan isi hati ku ani wah banarnya, lama sudah ku kan nguluarkan wah, ku gusuk2 inda jua mau keluar geddit geddit, ah sapa yg geddit tu confirm kuning tu utak nya ah, tau ku tu sapa, c orno tu. semua benda di compare nya dengan yg jijik2 atu malas ku kan explain, atu confirm kamu tau sdh tu. anyways, aku gusuk kepala ku btw, sakit kali bulehh =D.

anyways, aku kan nahangkan ni curhat kediaku ani, the topic for today is why Aeronautical Engineering kana ucap payah, asal uwang betanya kediaku,

abang pendek 1 'eh apa course mu kau ambil d UK?'

nurazim 'ayonautical injining dek, nda hulah hatu kanya ku beminat'

abang pendek 1 ' eh payah tu eh course mu atu'

ahh typical tuu jawapan urang. dengan facial expression drg lagi mcm muka mengajan taie unta. inda kamu tau cana muka mengajan? ahh atu kamu liat muka c bokh saja, ah muanya cmatu tu all the time if kamu becerita arah nya, muka nda pandai kan merati urang bepadah cerita. tpi on the bright side, mukanya putih. wtf apakan.

tu mua nya ah, iatah tu kamu dapat if kamu cerita arah nya, jgn tah kan becerita sama ia ani lau buleh ah, cmatu kanay tu expression nya kan mahami cerita tani ah, mun 5 minit mua nya cmatu tu membarikan mengayas jua tu kan, inda ja? eh aku menaip ni pun ah kan ku rambat ku kais2 mua nya ani, garamati ku ia meliat cematu ah time ku menaip ani

ah anyways, kepada juniors yg membaca or yg lain lah ni umum ni ah, aku kan explain napa Aeronautical Engineering payah hantap :

1) cigunya inda hot. nahh iatah kamu nah betulkan niat wah, kemari ni utk belajar bukan utk menggatal, mun kan begatal, aga saja c gman ia melayan tu.

2) salah tu point 1 ah, ni nah yg banarnya, module nya as in subjects nya telampau banyak kalah tu banyak taie lalat arh muka c jijan (jgn marah jan, aku use example supaya sanang explain), tiap masa muka kamu tu ke uni saja, apal tu bah uwang cashier kadai ah, antah2 ia pun banci kali meliat muka ku tiap hari melintas. class nya inda kan beyanti, dtg kul 9am muleh nya antah kul 5pm kali, karing biji. nah tuu kuning tu kamu ah, biiji halkum wah kaying, nda minum kali bulehh =p

3) module nya yang kana ajar anii module yang mechanical engineering 2nd year, bukan inda kuyang asham, tapi inda apa, atu kirakan challenging wah tu, mmmhh. tapi kami mesti blajar dalam 1st year ani, atu banar, utak pun pandai give up tu.

4) busy berabis, mendesign ani tia, atu tia, pastu buat tia specimen atu, specimen ani, welding tia, malas ku kan explain part ani, sakit saja hati ku. kamu karang ku krajakan eyah over.

well atu pulang saja dapat ku pikirkan, lau mau kamu mikirkan utk aku, ngalih ku bah. ahhh gerenti kamu cakap cmani ni dalam hati 'EH BUDUH JUA C NURAZIM ANI AH, TAU SUDAH PAYAH DIAMBILNYA JUA, MENGOMPLAIN IA LAGI' awu awu tau ku, aku andang nya ni cmani luan karas kepala, patut jua kepala ku basar, lau dari jauh kamu meliat, kamu pikir samut tu kediaku ah, kepala basar badan damit, geddit geddit.

aku ni banarnya suka wah benda2 trabang ani, dulu aku tinggal ampir airport, iatah im fascinated by aircraft aniii, slalu ku mliat tu, pastu ampit ku meliat red arrows, yang kapal traabang warna merah ah yg ada show nya dulu, yg keluar asap warna warni dari buntut red arrow ahh, ahh google saja uleh kamu, malas ku kan upload gambarnya. aku kana exposure sudah ni dengan benda trabang, mcm superman, burung trabang apa atuuu. bahkan nenek boy ku lagi slalu btanya pasal burung arah kediaku:

nenek boy 'wang, basar sudah burung muu? hehehe'

nurazim' eh nek, mun namanya asian, nuhun nabsu nunggu basar, kakal jua damit tu'

well atu pulang saja curhat ku, skati ku wah cerita cmani, mun mau kamu membuat, kamu cali ah, jgn banyak complain, mulut tu bisai2 hahaha marah. aku kan meeting ni kajap lagi, tiap hari bah group meeting ani, ngalahi kraja manager ni aku ah, andang nya sabar saja ku.

last but not least, apa2 kamu buat mesti ikhlas, betulkan niat selalu hehehe =D

cheers, salam,

nurazim the tutong guy.

2011-05-25T14:54:00.007+08:00

Assalamualaikum brothers,

Disini aku kan curhat pasal uni life lah ahh skajap. andangnya banyak alasan ni kan dbuat nda mau belajar utk exam ah. iatah krg di exam hall nyasal ni. hahaha

soo. cmani critanya. dulu masa PCE nya urg PMB lagi payah. okayy. den udah PMB nya urg elahh alum g merasai Olevel. okayy. udah Olevel, wang Alevel wang. laaaagi payahh. walaupn 3 subject ganya. payah tu jengg. bah layann. den udah Alevel ada tiaa urg bepadah eh degree sanang saja wah. pasalnya lapas kau belajar, den exam kau lupakan saja yg lama2 atu. wah dalam hatiku. siuk tu eh. sanang degree ani rpanya.

awu. atu masa atu. antah sapakah bepadah cmatu atu. aku pn terpedaya. mun ku mendaup2 mua anak atu wah sampai biut puas atiku. kana tipu ku bah. sampai ku gtau urg lain degree ani sanang jua. wawawa andang setaie taie palat anak malik gerhana. diri alum jua mmbuat degree setau sanang. soo sini aku kan gtau lah wahai adik2 sekalian. esehmen. adik semua single ke? wawawa. nada deh. abang kan gtau adik2 sekalian, banarnya degree ani payah.

jangan kamu terpedaya dengan urg yg cakap degree ani sanang. mun ada terajang muanya. tampar2 belipat ya. sadang jua kan membawa ajaran sasat ani ja. hahah. so mun ada opportunity kan ambil degree atu baiktah jgn diambil. bekabun saja kamu drumah. tantu, kanyang parut, jual di pasar dapat usin. kawin kamu, bagi makan anak bini. wawawa. nada deh. discouraging pulang abang ijat ani. mun sanggup ambil lah talur. napa luan talur bedadar ani kian. inda jua payah kan dgtau. hahah.

so dbawah ani kamu liatlah ah transitionku dari sebelum degree lapas ambil degree. drastic lah perubahannya.

soo. dulu aku cmani dalam library.

Kamu liat tu kan ulah sorg2 talur2an ah di library capi2 tah pulang. rilek bah dulu atu. anu masa exam kami skulah masih, ke library, bukan utk belajar, utk becerita, ketawa2, meliat bini2, tulah kan. abis saja bah minyak krita membuat dosa. hahaha. pastu main volleyball apa. eh gila jaman dulu atu. prasan pandai bah. hahah. tapi masani aku cmani sudah:

Aishh. mun mamaku meliat bah. sajuk parutnya meliat ni. kamu meliat sudah sajuk parut kamu. nda ja? kamu liat tu aku mmbuat report mcm cbanar ah. mun dulu di MS bah nada ada cmani ni. beibun ganya taunya. ani masani paksa eh mmbuat cmani sampai menyubuh. google translator atu ah iatah besprenku tu. mun nada bah, ntah kana ketawakan lecturer kalieh report ku yg nda btantu englishnya ah. grade U kali tarus. hahahha. susah nyamu geng. nada lagi bah masa kan bebun2 apa atu. talur2an uni life ani. hahaha

so bawah ani transition yg ke dua. dulu usulku cmani:

Hensem kan? hensem? nda? eh in denial jua kamu ani eh. mun aku bini2 wah tepikat ku ni meliat. mcm anu pelakun korea kan? awu ja? nda? eh awuuuu. eh awu tu eh awu tu awu. kamu liat tu STAR OF THE NIGHT lagi. nda plang ku suka kan nunjuk2 ani lah ahh. tapi ani sebagai contoh saja. ani masani nda salahku ada jua lah dalam 30 urg bini2 ku reject. oh cmon girl. get a life. eyah mcm staie. nada deh. kidding2 only. hahah. ni nah lagi nah usulku yg dulu:

Tu kan. segak bah usulku bersama teman2 atu. aku sndiri pn tepikat bah. bukan plang kan perasahan lah ah. kamu diam saja bah. hahaha. fyi kalau kamu kan tau kami ani dulu banarnya ada band plang ni. di atas atu gambar kami concert touring di brunei. nama band kami the malik gerhanas. nama album kami yg femes lepas dari lokap. so silalah beli yg original. okay jat nda cali. wawawa

So masani aku cmani sudah pasal uni life. perubahan sunggub drastic dan un-handsome.

Tohh tohh. eh mati eh. lahip bah sudah usulku ah. kalah usul si gman. kalah usul anu paci bejual ikan di pasar malam. mcm binatang buas. mcm perogol. smooth criminal bah ni. kumis tabal, rambut nda betantu, kulit karing. ani mun mamaku meliat tarus panas ni parutnya. nada ya ngakun aku anaknya kali tarus eh. hahaha. mun bini2 kan mengurat pn tarus kingsil ni. turn off tarus durg meliat. hahaha. tapi inda apa. masani insyaAllah aku in transition utk balik mcm dulu sudah. so jangantah kamu malu kan bekawan sama aku ah brothers? hahah

mun ku tau degree ani payah wah, engineering tah lagi. jadi farmer saja ku dulu. malas ku belajar. masuk askar kah pulis kah saja. adventurous jua sikit menguyung si malik gerhana. ani nada bah. nda adventurous. torturous ada. lurus kah nda spellingnya tu. payah nada grammar check sini ani mcm microsoft word. wawaw. tiap hari meliat computer. mun meliat bini2 lawa baik. ani meliat anu essay, maths, programming. mmbari sakit mata ada. mmbari sakit ati pun ada. hahah

kamu liatkan how uni life can affect u? mun kamu dulu lawa mcm katy perry kah sapakah. sedia2 saja udah masuk uni atu. bida tah kamu tu mcm kerabau jadinya. pigang cakapku. hahah

bah okaylah. aku end with salam lah jua ah. panjang sudah. nda jua cali sijat ani mempost. biar tia bah. kamu tah saja yg cali. sedakah ketawa saja wah. aku kan share2 pengalaman saja bah ni. ukhwah wah brader. ukhwah. jangantah kamu google translate. ukhwah ani brotherhood. hahah

bah next post aku kan share2 lagi pasal life in uk ani lah ah. so if kamu ada apa2 soalan dont worry, inda ku kan menjawab. banyak tanya jua kamu ani eh. pakai saja google bah sana banyak jawapan tu. wawawa

Assalamualaikum.

i211

wassapp broooooooo??

2011-05-25T05:15:00.013+08:00

assalamualaikum brothers,

awu nda lagi ku manggil bro kamu ani, aku manggil full2 'brothers' cause thats how i roll in 126 Sharpley Road Loughborough, ku tampar kamu karang mun ngucap english ku, tau ku masih bida, nda mau improve2 nya. ku cucuk2 karang biji2 kamu atu, yg amit ah, mcm c gman wawa.ingat kamu masih c gman? usulnya cmani tuu

eh salah, nah kedapatan tia mengopy gambar bini2 dari google, bah back to my mission, cani banarnya usulnya c gman in case kamu lupa:

macam c usop gerhana yg kana cari tu ada jua ah, mmmhh. mesti di share ni anak ani berantai apa anii, macam kuyuk saja, mun kamu umban tulang, membubut ni ia, banaa nyanta inda ku menipu.

bah back to our business,

tani sebagai urang islam anii mesti ukhwah ada wah, tanpa ukhwah ah, UIC ani nada tia U nya, -.-' apakan c nurajim ani becali inda cali, nada urg paham, jzkkk kepada yg ketawa atu yg paham joke ku atu, i lost my touch in joking joking here. aku ah kana antar kemari anii, bisai lahh ulah ku, nya urang baik lah berubah, nasib jua inda berubah jadi ambuk ada plg usul2 mua ku atu seiras ambuk. dulu aku cmani :

tapi skrg anii aku cmani :

so jadikan lah pedoman hidup kamu lah ah UIC brothers, aku bukan nya kan riyak lah nii tapi utk ku nunjukkan kamu aku ni masuk newspaper wah baanarnya arah borneo bulletin cuba kamu liat ah jgn inda, atu pulang point ku tu mempost ani wahahahah =D.

http://www.borneobulletin.com.bn/wed/may18h2 5.htm takan ah link aniii heheheh if dapat jua masih. tapi nda puas hati ku ni, mesti ku screenshot lagi ni

so i end my post with a song:

entah kamu eh ingat aku ni artis kah kan belagu ani. aku ahiri dengan salam. btw wait for our next post, soooon dont worry bebeh. im living this loca, ho sidis side out, we livin da loca, antah nda ku pandai belagu english ani wah, keturunan kedayan kali buleh

today marks the beginning of UIC blogspot, aku active kan balik ni dont worry kepada peminat2 UIC sekalian eyah barigali, luan perasan kana umban spendet plg karang ni aku ani

thanks baby,

'bros before hoes' thats our trademark aight, long live UIC

2010-09-06T09:25:00.001+08:00

Happy Ramadhan! Yummy! =9

2010-08-18T13:47:00.009+08:00

SELAMAT BERPUASA. Mmmmmmmhhh…

2010-05-21T14:30:00.000+08:00

Salam

(27-11-2009) Hari raya aidiladha "hari Jumaat"

(18-12-2009) Tahun baru hijrah "hari Jumaat"

(25-12-2009) Hari krismas "hari Jumaat"

(1-1-2010) Tahun baru "hari Jumaat"

(26-2-2010) Maulidur rasul "hari Jumaat"

(2-4-2010) Good friday "hari Jumaat"

(28-5-2010) Hari wesak "hari Jumaat"

(10-9-2010) Hari raya Aidilfitri "hari Jumaat"

(27-8-2010) Nuzul Al-Quran "hari Jumaat"

(5-11-2010) Depavali "hari Jumaat"

Adakah KIAMAT sudah hampir????

Dalam Al-Quran Allah telah berfirman bahawasanya KIAMAT terjadi hari JUMAAT!!!!

Banyak² kita beristighfar dan berdoa pada Allah semoga dosa² di kita ampuni..

22 Tanda Kiamat Semakin Hampir

1. Sembahyang diabaikan (diringan-ringankan).

2. Keinginan nafsu syahwat digalakkan dan berleluasa disebarkan melalui internet, iklan, buku, gambar, risalah atau filem.

3. Penjenayah menjadi pemimpin dan kebanyakannya jahil mengenai agama dan banyak memberi fatwa yang menyesatkan pengikutnya.

4. Perkara benar menjadi salah dan salah menjadi benar. Sukar untuk membezakan perkara halal dan haram kerana yang haram dianggap halal serta sebaliknya.

5. Berbohong menjadi satu keperluan dalam hidup dan menganggap jika tidak berbohong sukar untuk hidup senang.

6. Membayar zakat (harta, perniagaan dan pendapatan) dianggap beban.

7. Orang yang hidup mengikut kehendak agama ditindas dan hati mereka sentiasa merintih kerana maksiat berleluasa tetapi mereka tidak mampu mencegahnya.

8. Turun hujan di luar musimnya dan hujan tidak memberi keuntungan kepada makhluk di muka bumi.

9. Fenomena lelaki berkahwin dengan lelaki (homoseksual) dan perempuan berkeinginan kepada perempuan (lesbian) semakin menjadi-jadi.

10. Perempuan menguasai lelaki dengan memakai ubat guna-guna, sihir dan amalan syaitan lain.

11. Anak-anak mengingkari dan menderhaka ibu bapa (ibu bapa menjadi kuli dan anak menjadi tuan).

12. Kawan baik dilayan dengan kasar, manakala musuh diberi layanan baik. Kawan disangka lawan dan musuh dianggap sahabat serta memusuhi orang yang mengajak berbuat kebaikan.

13. Dosa dipandang ringan malah bangga melakukannya seperti zina, minum arak, bergaul bebas antara lelaki dan perempuan, meninggalkan sembahyang, mendedahkan aurat dan berjudi.

14. Masjid dihias indah tetapi kosong, terpulau, berkunci dan banyak berlaku kecurian barang masjid yang berharga.

15. Ramai yang sembahyang tetapi munafik dan berpura-pura. Di dalam sembahyang berjanji akan mengikut suruhan Allah tetapi di luar sembahyang melanggar perintahNya,

16. Akan datang golongan manusia dari Barat menguasai mereka yang lemah (iman) dan ramai terpengaruh dengannya seperti mengikut cara mereka berpakaian, bergaul dan suka berpesta.

17. Al-Quran dicetak dengan indah tetapi hanya dijadikan perhiasan dan jarang dibaca serta diamalkan kehendaknya.

18. Amalan riba berleluasa hingga orang alim pun terjebak sama.

19. Darah manusia tidak berharga, sering berlaku pembunuhan, peperangan dan jenayah.

20. Penganut Islam tidak mahu mengamalkan suruhan agama dan tidak mahu membela serta menyebarkannya.

21. Akan bertambah banyak penyanyi wanita (wanita yang tidak beriman adalah senjata syaitan yang baik).

22. Ramai orang kaya pergi umrah dan haji dengan tujuan melancong, yang sederhana pergi untuk berniaga dan yang miskin bermaksud meminta sedekah.

Dunia Di Penghujung Nyawa

1) Penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis.

Dari Auf b. Malik r.a. katanya,Rasulullah s.a.w telah bersabda:

'Aku menghitung 6 perkara menjelang hari kiamat.'Baginda menyebutkan salah 1 diantaranya, iaitu penaklukan Baitulmuqaddis. '
- Sahih Bukhari

~ dah jadi dah...

2) Zina bermaharajalela.

'Dan tinggallah manusia2 yang buruk, yang seenaknya melakukan
persetubuhan seperti himar (keldai). Maka pada zaman mereka inilah kiamat akan datang.'- Sahih Muslim

~ dah nampak dah...

3) Bermaharajalela alat muzik.

'Pada akhir zaman akan terjadi tanah runtuh, rusuhan & perubahan muka'. Ada yang bertanya kepada Rasulullah;

'Wahai Rasulullah bila hal ini terjadi?'Baginda menjawab: 'Apabila telah bermaharajalela bunyian(muzik) & penyanyi² wanita'- Ibnu Majah

~ Mentor , Malaysian Idol, Akademi Fantasia, Anugerah Muzik...

4) Menghias masjid & membanggakannya.

'Di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya kiamat ialah manusia bermegahan dalam mendirikan masjid'- Riwayat Nasai..

~ memang dah nampak dah...

5) Munculnya kekejian, memutuskan kerabat & hubungan dengan tetangga tidak baik.

'Tidak akan datang kiamat sehingga banyak perbuatan & perkataan keji, memutuskan hubungan silaturahim & sikap yang buruk dalam
tetangga.'- Riwayat Ahmad dan Hakim.

~ ada anak tak mengaku ada mak/bapak pasal malu......

6) Ramai orang soleh meninggal dunia.

'Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga Allah mengambil orang2 yang baik& ahli agama di muka bumi, maka tiada yang tinggal padanya kecuali orang2 yang hina & buruk yang tidak mengetahui yang makruf dan tidak mengingkari kemungkaran' - Riwayat Ahmad

~ boleh kira berapa jer para ulama'yg tinggal...

7) Orang yang hina mendapat kedudukan terhormat.

'Di antara tanda semakin dekatnya kiamat ialah dunia akan dikuasai oleh Luka'bin Luka'(orang yang ***** & hina).
Maka orang yang paling baik ketika itu ialah orang yang beriman yang diapit oleh 2 orang mulia'- Riwayat Thabrani

~ George Bush, Ariel
Sharon & kat Malaysiapun ada....

8) Mengucapkan salam kepada orang yang dikenalnya sahaja.

'Sesungguhnya di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah manusia tidak mahu mengucapkan salam kepada orang lain kecuali yang dikenalnya saja.'- Riwayat Ahmad

~ jiran sesama islam pon tak bertegur sapa...

9) Banyak wanita yang berpakaian tetapi hakikatnya telanjang.

Diriwayatkan dari Abu Hurairah r.a. 'Di antara anda² telah hari kiamat ialah akan muncul pakaian² wanita & apabila mereka memakainya keadaannya seperti telanjang'.

~ fesyen zaman skarang (tube, spaghetti strap, g-string etc..)...

10) Bulan sabit kelihatan besar.

'Di antara tanda2 telah dekatnya hari kiamat ialah menggelembung (membesarnya) bulan sabit.'- Riwayat Thabrani

~ tak caya gi tengok....

11) Banyak dusta & tidak tepat dalam menyampaikan berita.

'Pada akhir zaman akan muncul pembohong2 besar yang datang kepadamu dengan membawa berita2 yang belum pernah kamu dengar & belum pernah didengar oleh bapa2 kamu sebelumnya, kerana itu jauhkanlah dirimu dari mereka agar mereka tidak menyesatkanmu & memfitnahmu' - Sahih Muslim

~ Siaran TV kerajaan dan swasta, akhbar2 harian & majalah² yg popular skarang nie......

12) Banyak saksi palsu & menyimpan kesaksian yang benar.

'Sesungguhnya sebelum datang nya hari kiamat akan banyak
kesaksian palsu & disembunyikan kesaksian yang benar.'-Riwayat Ahmad

~ tengok kes peperangan Iraq ...

13) Negara Arab menjadi padangrumput & sungai.

'Tidak akan datang hari kiamat sehingga negeri Arab kembali menjadi padang rumput & sungai²'- Sahih Muslim

~ Dubai dah turun salji... Mina dah kene banjir...

TOLONG SAMPAIKAN KEPADA TEMAN² LAIN!

Dari Abdullah bin 'Amir r.a., Rasulullah s.a.w....bersabda:

'Sampaikanlah pesanku biarpun 1 ayat...'

PENGERTIAN MAKSUD IMAN

- DARI SEGI BAHASA :
Yakin Dan Percaya

- DARI SEGI ISTILAH :
Membenarkan di hati, mengakui dengan lidah dan
BERAMAL DENGAN ANGGOTA

"Jangan setakat membaca tapi cuba la menghayati, jangan setakat tahu tapi cuba la mengamalkan apa yang dah tahu, jangan setakat fikirkan kebaikan untuk diri sendiri tapi fikirkan la jugak kebaikan untuk orang lain terutama orang-orang terdekat yang disayangi."

2010-05-09T19:18:00.001+08:00

BLIND MAN IN A RESTAURANT

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu. "I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes." Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks toward the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork." The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli." Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in, he's going to test him. The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Sue, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man." Sue complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting. "Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you." The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Sue worked here..."

2010-05-07T11:08:00.000+08:00

MAN FINDS PERFECT SPOT TO MASTURBATE

The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."

He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution.

On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there? "The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill five minutes ago.

2010-04-04T12:05:00.001+08:00

2010-01-22T22:59:00.002+08:00

jamming saja saja, use somebody cover. kalau kau bukan noel gallagher or mathew bellamy, jangan buat negative comment, beria sampai mati saja kau.

2010-01-19T10:09:00.000+08:00

2009-12-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hahaha cali

Pada suatu hari ada perempuan ani message aku, aku pun reply jua, di bawah menunjukkan messagenya.

HyEx, AqU dGr qO henSmeX
-yang ku tau hensmex ani handsmack bah, btw Kau cawir usulnya

EyhX y0uh anEyh, aqU na caweR x aR
-inda ku paham eh! Apakan y0uh ani? Yzerouh kah? O.o

Eyh! Qo anEyh! CaWer! Na to vhasa qu m0dan!
-qO pun caWer! AHAX!

Poklen qo arr, ahax ahax arr! PoklenX eyhx.
-vNr t0sh ! qo na poklenx? Ahax

AqU na poKlenX, na qu naKu. aQu kewlX x arR, hotX g,
-ahax, hotX? Gambar diri mu telanjang ih!

Vah, okieX t0sh, body qu hoTx x arr. VangGa qu.
-awu eh, be daki kali,

Na bdaki x arR! LAwa x aR
-awu bah manasaja tah, sama jua bida masih.

PujiaN qh tew? huhu i lyke t0sh!
-awu eh pujian, kau bida bah!

Thx y0uh eyhX
-babi -_-

OuH aqu ndgny Vavi
-antam, babi!

Vah uDah th x ar?
-alaa, kenalan dulu wah.

WHy y0U dID THs TO ME
-fasal y0u vavi, ahax.

Axu arR, lupa Qu, qo hensmex qa?
-apakan hensmex ani? Handsmack?

Ouh, qo sHafal?
-kau rusakkan kasut mu?

huhu, vErapa umur qo?
-quququ!! Jajaj

Gaga, vah, leow kr8 qu, huhu, vye vye hensmex. MwahxZx
-eeee, aing liurnya tempias, eee

2009-12-26T22:57:00.001+08:00

POKLEN

aku dpt dri anti-poklen community arh facebook

1. pwencezz_gurlzz@hotmail.com is adding you to her list. accept or reject?
- accept

2. hAi x)
- hai gay.

3. sHafa Nehzz?
- kau ani jenis ahax ani kah?

4. aQu bOy. maNa u DafAt eMeL qU ohS?
- aku dapat email mu dari.. kuching! :O

5. oHs, oQayy :D luFa mehxx. vHaFa u Neh?
- mencheck gps kau dimana.

6. ohS. me Nehx LymfaNg2 ahz, mau iKut? ahAax ;p
- ada ku tanya kau yang kau ani behapa? AHAX EH!!!

7. Aii? iNdaQaN u InDa Mau IquTs? chuPpEyz u nEyh ehs.
- gila. Nasib jua nini ku ada bazooka untuk bunuh urg macam kau ani.

8. uMMp, u TinGgaL di ManA ohS?
- di borneo bah eh.

9. vTw, ehhs. U qaH tOhx Yang PakaI vAju itAmXx kEmaReN di maLL ahX?
- nini mu tu!

10. eeEeeE.. qYot yoU aHx! maRi CiNi mE cUvits FiFi u Ohs. vuLeh?
- nini mu kiut nya mu? bagus eh.

11. u sInGLe? :D mau u SaMa me?
- dudeeeeeeeeeeeeee.. Balikan ku Audi R8!!!

12. cHuPpiEe. u JuA mAu qAfeL sama me Ahs.
- antah kau.

13. FukyMa joA bOyfriEndx u oHxx? mE taMpar iA kaRang!!
- AKU BUKAN GAY WAH ROAR EH!

14. iNda Afa U ahX. me buNuh dYry nehh! bIar U mEnyaSaL!
- eh JANGAN!!! AKU KAN BUNUH KAU!!!

15. bYe. me oPliNe dulu. me putUng tAnGan me ni! :'(
- JANGAN WAH EH!! AKU KAN MURDER KAUU!! ROARRRR!

16. oKaY! luPpPsssssssssH yeWHHHHH! (kata terakhir sebelum mati)
- babal jua eh.

17. okay. hahahahha. apa pendapat mu pasal orang poklen ani?
- urg poklen ani babal! urg kan bunuh ia inda mau! ia kan bunuh diri mau! talur! -_-

2009-12-12T10:07:00.001+08:00

PICNIC ARH PANTAI SERI KENANGAN

2009-11-29T11:28:00.003+08:00

to UIC members, next week ada picnic arh Pantai Seri Kenangan Tutong Brunei Darussalam. Date saja blum decide. So to those who wants to join baikth bawa $5 on Tuesday ane. We'll decide date nya tarus on Tuesday December 1st. Sapa yg minta kurangi g duit atu, baik th jgn ikut. IF MAU FREE PICNIC SENDIRI SAMA FAMILY!!!!

To those yg kn fishing, merambat, memukat, etc.. bawa barang sendiri!!nakn aku kana srh bawa!!tampa kang!!!jgn bnyk tnya..join join..inda inda!!!

2009-11-19T11:43:00.001+08:00

POKLEN

2009-11-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

poklen poklen poklen poklen poklen for life

2009-11-13T23:56:00.000+08:00

2009-10-01T23:31:00.001+08:00

kepada para uic dan prau2 sekalian

di persilakn dtg ke rumaaah ku open house utk kamu

date: sabtu aniii

time: ptg laaaa start pukul 1.30 kalii smpai 6.30

rumah ku tau jua kamu tu waahh yang inda tauuu tanya2 sja hehehe

r28

Raya convoy

2009-09-19T20:18:00.004+08:00

PU2 HARI RAYA CONVOY

Updates on PU2 Hari Raya Convoy

updated on 19/09

Please please have the courtesy to tell wina, if you have changed your mind about the list below.

whether you have decided that:-

a)you will be coming to this convoy / kalau kamu datang.

b) you will not coming to this convoy / kalau inda datang.

c) you will be using your own transport / pakai transport sendiri.

d) you will be riding the bus / atau ikut bus.

Jangan babal. clear sudah tu. tampa kang

last changes will be made only till 21nd September 2009. gtau before tarikh ani

i guess that's about it. so please ah. kana sula ulih dusun karang.

and thank you.

jangan diam diam, buat action.

contact c wina. emailnya wina_305@hotmail.com or
blognya; http://wallsoftheheart.blogspot.com
kamu kacau pulang ni. haha.

Menyungkaikn d umah c afiq

2009-09-16T20:01:00.003+08:00

assalamualaikum, kepada semua uic telah d undang untuk datang k umah c afiq pada hari khamis ani 17.9.2009

2009-09-15T20:06:00.000+08:00

2009-09-15T15:29:00.001+08:00

2009-08-11T18:24:00.002+08:00

al-11

UIC BAND JAMMING

2009-08-07T00:03:00.002+08:00

To UIC BAND Members (Ehsan, Faiq, Haziq, Afiq, Ian & Naqiuddin)

bhpa?- Jamming

Bla? - Jumaa, 7 august 2009

Dmna? - Umah c Afiq

Kul Brpa? - 230 ptg - onwards

Jgn akhir... lau ada masalah eg. "nda ku dpt yo" or "aku nda transport" baik britau awal2 jgn udh last minute

mudh2an kmu semua dpt lah sal c afiq sma c ian gian dh jh jamming ane

jgn lupa bwa guitar, amp, guitar chord sma extension.......... keh ??

-UIC BAND-

2009-08-03T09:30:00.002+08:00

3 August.
time: 8+

Hari ani hari isnin,
ku pikir hari selasa,
dimalam liat DPMM,
hatiku hampa.

petang nanti ku bermain bola,
main bola bukan macam biasa,
bukan main futsal tapi main di padang,
ketara tia barat nie, kana ucap ampang.

main bula karang bersama cigu-cigu,
yatah masanya membantai ni, tapi eksenku,
main mesti dengan cara hormat,
mun inda abis kana ucap bangsat.

ada cigu azlan ada cigu khai,
semua handal-handal, mati kami ni parai,
mudahan tah bukan membubut bula saja,
please ah cigu-cigu, kami pun mau score jua.

berbaju kuning,
mua sudah hitam-hitam,
main lagi dua tiga hari,
semua hitam lagam.
(yatah yang ku tunggu ni. wawawawa)

main bula kan tiap minggu,
makin handal inda jua prasanku,
baju bula makin disasah selalu,
amah pun mental menyasah baju bebau slalu.

team kami macam-macam saiz, macam-macam rupa,
tinggi, pindik, putih, hitam pun ada jua,
bukan hanya satu, tapi ada banyak bangsa,
yang hairannya, melayu pun kana ucap kaling jua.
(kau tu baasit, bukan aku.wawawawa)

banyak-banyak rambut,
rambut siapa paling unik,
tentulah rambut keriting,
rambut si haziq.

pindik didapan panjang diatas,
kalau straight rambutnya,jadilah macam bawang,
angan-angan jadi nakata, tapi inda menjadi,
jadi yang keriting saja ziq, macam si Fellaini.

dengan puisi ini ku harap anda terhibur diri,
cuma gurauan, jangan ambil hati,
terutama yang keriting dan itam inda sadar diri,
minta maaf ku dari hujung rambut kehujung kaki.

-najib20

uic futsal ms tour.

2009-07-28T18:57:00.004+08:00

As the qualifying exam of the preu-2 uic football team is coming to an end, the uic futsal ms tour is starting. The uic futsal ms tour will be a 6 days tour with 3 matches in 3 days and 1 day break before and after each matches. Everyone is expected to be involved in this matches with each of them trying to show and prove how important and handal they are. Different players with different calibers, attacker, defender, keepers even the bench warmers.

The tour consists of 2 futsal matches and 1 football match where all of the uic is expected to be involved. The uic will field three different team in which one of the them is the runner up and finalist of the Annal ZI futsal tournament in 2006 which is held every year in Maktab Sains. The team was also merupakan the second runner up of the pre-university tournament in 2006 yang mana the team was invited to play while still studying in form 4 due to their incredible success in the ZI tournament.

The first match begins on the 30th july 2009 where they will be fielding a team against the mighty form 3. Not much of the team is known but tough test from them is expected. uic never looked down on their opponent. The slightest mistake they made in the game could cost them the match. zzgeahh.

The second match will be on the very 1st august 2009 where the uic will face off against the preu-1 team, the outsyders. From the name of the team, you sure do know that it's a goal machine team with very tough defence to break. Rumours said they also had just ended their qualifying exam. Exam stress will be expected form these two team so there will be a hard fought match where these two different team with different mentality will fight off with each other to release their stress at the same time showing who's the best in MS. Players of different skills, techniques and calibers will be there. So make sure you guys don't miss it. Matches like this won't occur anywhere. This is a one-time amazing football match. Surely you can't miss this one.

The third game will be on the 3rd of august where the uic will be playing a football match on the newly MS field yg barutah kan siap bekurun lamanya. This will be the opening match of the football field. Truly, it is such an honor to be able to play the opening match on this field. The uic's will be facing off against the MS teachers. It's a match of old age vs young age. Surely they're old and you can outrun them but nothing beats the experience that they've got. The odds are against the uics. With super players like zulfaisal, redha, azlan, khairul and Izam, they'll surely be tough to beat. Rumours is that the uic will field a super defender. He's big he's black he's bulky. Three B's and he's Najib. With najib there marking Izam and leading the defence wall, surely how can the teachers be able to break through? With najib standing at the back, it's like the post can't be seen from anywhere, it's like he's the goalpost. Imagine how big it is. It's just unbelievable. SUPERB I should say. But football is football. Football is round. Bola itu bulat. It's unpredictable. UIC could win. Who knows? Make sure you catch this match, LIVE at padang MS.

I'm still not sure if the five new signings coming from UK will be able to make their debut. Their fitness is still a problem. The badar-est of all, najmi is doubtful. Wether he can be fit in time or not, we don't know. The selfish player, Bokh is expected to play in the third match where he requested to play in the second half due to attachment ard 2-4. No worries bokh, if you're not coming lagi bisai. Nada jua urg karit.

Najib says; "I hope the MS tour can make me thin. Even a little jaditah. I'm not that concern about the heat. Mun sudah hitam atu, hitam tah tu. immune sudah. apa bulih buat."
The key player haziq on the other hand says; " I hope we're able to win these three games, because if we do, that shows that our team is a team to be reckoned with. A dangerous team to the football world."
Baasit who recently celebrated his 19th birthday with no driving license says; " Well. I dunno. I just have to sleep and if the manager decided to play me. Than I'll play, that's all i have to say"
Mizan says; "My stamina is not that good, so i won't play in the futsal match. I'm a padang player, I'll play against the teachers."
Azizan the newly appointed striker says; "Sometimes you just have to focus on the placing. It's simple and easy and......" diam saja. sorry. tetutup mic. wawawawa

okayy. till then. enjoy the matches.

Life of Aseet.

2009-07-23T19:48:00.005+08:00

Aseet. Does anyone remember the name? Yes. A year ago he left his home due to some unavoidable reasons. One of the reason why he left was because his father had crushed his heart by replacing his "dick" based rims with a fairly small rims and tyres which his father stole from the nearby Plane workshop.

For nearly one year his beloved charming friend Azizan waited for him to come home and yet he didnt. He was really worried bout Aseet. Evryday while he was bathing, he always ask himself ,

"Aseet.. Where are you aseet? I've been waiting for you since you left. Please Aseet come home .. End my misery."

One day while Azizan was cruising around the town, he came across with one company which will help him to find Aseet. It's called. Basheet LOST & FOUND ltd. He faxed the company and ask them whether they're able to help him or not in rescuing Aseet. and the answer was YES. Azizan was glad to hear this and he told the company to do their job A.S.A.P..and they did.. They send one of their staff on a journey looking for poor Aseet.

A few months later he came back with a bad news. He told Azizan that Aseet NDA mau balik..He told azizan that Aseet will come back home when he is ready. Instead Aseet asked the guy to write a report on what he have been doing all this time..

Jeng jeng jeng.. Bermula lah sebuah kisah.

Aseet di temui oleh jejaka itu di tempat so called Itam Lagi Panjang. Lelaki itu cuma memerhati apa yg dibuatnya selama ani. Maksud nya Observing apa yg dibuatnya ani. Aseet's pet barney got married with a mammal not of the same species and they gave birth to a mammal jua ..berbeza dari rupa indungnya..Barney's wife namanya Bourney and their child namanya Bornoo. A few days after c Barney ani kawin ia pun meninggal..mengapa? dan bagaimana? Barney mati kerana kelaparan.oleh kerana Aseet left home without duit so yeah..Dorang miskin and nada duit..Bourney bersedih hati..and thought of how she will feed her child if nada usin kan bali makanan. Aseet came up with a wonderful idea..It's profit-ing for him and Bourney. Using his knowledge of Law of Physics involving Circular motion, Work, Energy and Power, he came up with an ideal equation.

"Bourney + 2 wheels trailer = Money in his pocket "

so ia ikut ia punya equation ani lah and ia dapat this one brand new vehicle..Parts used arah vehiclenya ani diperolehi hasil usahanya meminta arah org. 1 hari satu malam bekeraja. ahirnya siap.. tomorrownya..ia buka his on booth lah..siapa yg mau rent a vehicle utk jalan2 round2 bulehlah menggunakan vehiclenya dgn harga yg quiet low..Resultnya.. bukan nda ramai org mau..dibawah ani gambar customer c Aseet with his vehicle yang lawa ani.. :

Everyday Aseet bangun awal and buka boothnya so that ia dapat berniaga.. Profitnya dibagi rata.1/4 di baginya Bourney for her own use utk bali makanan anaknya apa..and 3/4 yg lain Aseet simpan in his pocket. After about 2 months kali ia jalankan business bagus ani..ia pun dapat duit yg bnyak cukup utk kegunaan dirinya..Unfortunately Bourney died pasal ngalih brabis membawa customer..Rasanya kan membagi anaknya makan waaa..sanggup ya buat kerja barat2. Ada this one guy ..He's the reason why Bourney died. He was too heavy for Bourney. Weighing about 300 lbs. skali duduk ganya tu buleh membawa maut kepada c Bourney. This guy ani namanya Ajib. Pity2 Bourney, ajal sampai sudah apa bleh buat. Tomorrownya, Aseet went to a trailer shop looking for a new trailer as trailer yg lama atu hancur oleh Ajib. and He found one yg inspiring brabis..this trailer akan di pakaikan arah anak c Barney and Bourney ani..c Bornoo...so ia balik ke tempat tinggalnya and pasangkan arah c Bornoo ani.. Lawa brabis.. Bsuknya ia buka lagi boothnya and hoping masih ada customer mau..Arah bannernya betulis " BorTruck " ..Everyone was amazed by this and mau jua mencuba kenderaan baru ani..the good thing is this new vehicle ani can occupy more passenger..below is gambar yg diambil semasa customernya menaiki " BorTruck".

Nda lama atu around few months later.. Sadly c Bornoo ani meninggal.. Reason? sama mcm mamanya..ind lagi tahan bekeraja.. Barat kali ah truck disurungnya atu..Penumpang gi banyak hantap.. Aseet was so sad cos ia nada perniagaan kan dibuat lagi.. =(( Mlmnya masa ya tidur..Bejumpa ya sama his old friend named Kimo.Dlm mimpinya atu c Kimo talked.

"Shine your dark face with a face lotion, find Reebok with wheels and go home to your parents. "

Bsuknya masa ya bangun ia pun wonder..apa maksud c kimo atu ah.. hmmm..So he decided to gojalan2 arah town since nada lagi yang ken mendangani ia..masa ya walking around atu. tejumpa ya sebuah kadai. " REEBOK with wheels" . Ia ingat dreamnya atu..lalu dia msuk..Alangkah suprise kelihatan di mua c Aseet..Kasut reebok beroda.. Dlm hatinya " Iatah kali odah ni kata c kimo ani " Ia pun spend all his money in his pocket to buy this thing..he did.. His brand new car looked like this :

Aseet bawa jalan around town and semua org betulihan..Bangga banar c Aseet..rasanya mcm dunia ani ia yg punya.. Masa ia stop at one of the traffic light..he saw org tetua ani layah2 di tepi jalan mcm kesakitan..Ia pun meringan kan badan menuju ke arah old person ani..di liatnya mua org tetua ani belumuran darah...zoom dibawanya ke hospital. After few days org tetua ani pulih and came to see Aseet. Org tetua ani berterima kasih arah c Aseet kerana sudah save ia masa atu.. Ia pun menghadiahkan sebuah kereta Lamborghini version " KONTOT". and org tetua atu becakap

" Gunakan kereta ani utk kau balik ke tempat asal mu "

c aseet pun bangang mendangar cakap nya atu.. C Aseet terus packing barangnya and menuju pulang kerumahnya..

sampai dirumahnya bapanya pun tekajut melihat c Aseet ani berjaya..

"LAI, dulu kau lari basikal ku kau bawa..ani kau balik Kereta siapa kah ko bawa..Lawa tapi kontot. " kata bapanya.

Aseet pun menceritakan segala2nya arah bapanya ani. C Aseet melihat kalendar di sebelah dinding bilik tamunya dan found out yg hari ani 23rd July 2009. C Aseei pun tersidak2.. Rupanya setaun sudah ya meninggalkan rumahnya.. Ani umurnya 19 sudah!
Semasa Aseet berseorangan dibilik tamu, tiba2 keluarga dan kawan aseet mengejutkan Aseet dgn menyanyikan sebuah lagu

" Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to Aseet, Happy birthday to you."

Bapanya pun menyerahkan sebuah kotak kecil kepada Aseet.. di dalam kotak itu ada sebuah kunci. Aseet click on the button arah the key. and a sound came from outside.
Aseet kekajutan bila mendapati bahawa bapanya telah menghadiahkan ia sebuah Kereta yang panjangnya kalah lamborghini atu. Specialty kereta baru ani. 3 pairs of tyres yow......6 biji tayar lah tu maksudnya atu..Aseet pun menangis tesidak2..kerana gembira..

dlm hati Aseet

" Dapat tah ku bawa Azizan jalan2 nie.. =))"

then Aseet lives happily ever after..

i'm off,

z2611 - kes keboringan

once upon a time.

2009-07-17T20:53:00.010+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a Lambak-based troublemaker famously known as Aseet amongst his peers and Abang to his family of 13. This story was when he had just turned 18, and like every other teenager at this age, he was excited to get his driving license. You know, the thought of being able to drive to places, pick up and send friends, being the dude who can drive in school.

So when he got his driving license, his father Don Tejuddin gave him his father’s third wife's car. its got the mafia look, sporty and stylish all blended together just nice to suit Aseet's taste.

the car was perfect for him. but he only had one thing that he didn't like; the bronze rims. so he went to the nearby local shop Azizan Sdn Bhd to get himself brand new kick-ass rims. He talked to the owner of the shop, Mr Azizan himself.

"yo, aku mencari rim yang mun ku parking, smua urang beliatan arah kretaku. yang unique lah pokoknya sama ragat. ada?" Aseet enquired.

Azizan replied "ragat dan unik? tatap lah ada. macam aku jua tu. ehehehehe." and winked.

so he bought the rims that Azizan suggested him and installed it to his ride right away. he drove back home as fast as possible, eager to show his father. upo arriving home, he pulled his father out of the living room who was watching License to Grill out into the garage and told him the great news.

Pa, aku bali rims baru tadi arah kadai si Zizan ah. free lagitu, ia minta gambar Aseet saja katanya untuk simpan arah walletnya.

so the father had a look at the rims. and not even 3 seconds after observing the chrome rims,he turned to Aseet and gave him a huge slap in the face.

"TALO BANAR KO ANI! MEMBALI RIM ANI YANG BISAI2 DIH. APA GUNANYA KO BESPENDET MUN KO BALI RIM CMANI ANI, ALANG2 KO TELANJANG BULAT SAJA"

tsk tsk. i can understand his father's reaction.

not only did he slap Aseet in the face, he also took away the car's key and drove it to somewhere. Aseet was left there, lying on the garage floor crying himself to sleep. he had a long and nice sleep that night, except when he was awaken by the sound of his handphone at 1ish AM; a text message from Azizan that says 'i saw a bright light in my dream, i thought it was the sun, but it was just your smile'

so the next day, he went to the garage and saw his precious car. he dropped onto his knees feeling grateful he got his car back. that was until he saw what he saw...

that's right. his father changed the car's wheels to those used in supermarket trolleys. Aseet cried some more till the garage was flooded with tears. feeling frustrated and unloved, Aseet went to his room and packed some of his clothes. he decided to leave home for good. he stepped put of his room in tears, went to the backyard to get Barney,his pet, before getting on to his bike. then he's off to a long journey, one that no one knows where he'll end up at. that was the last time anyone has heard of Aseet.

im off,

-20.

ps: pictures courtesy of failblog

2009-07-03T17:17:00.002+08:00

untuk uic yg kancang2 yg nda takut kan H1N1 aka swine flu aka pnyakit babibauta.
isuk main bula free tani.
main street d stadium. tabak saja tia dmana2 parking areanya. kusung tu.
sebulan g kan puasa. baiktah puas2 main bula.
kelaparan nanti kamu jua dahaga kan bula.
wawawa.

bah isuk. sabtu. 4 july. stadium. kul 5 sampai puas main. sampai mati ka.
kompomkan sapa2 saja yg datang. gunakan tagboard sebelah.

sekian.

2009-07-01T11:58:00.002+08:00

oohh damn megan fox,
she's so sexy i wanna lick her socks,
she's so hot and dat's all facts,
it's not about love it's all sex.

don't call us pervert u dumb assholes,
it's just us meant to dig your holes,
we're not kids we're not six,
we've reached our puberty it's time for sex.

nadawah semuanya eksenku,
jangan di banar2i apa yg ku cakap atu,
saja2 cakap cematu buringku,
nada kan dckp baik ckp pasal atu.

kami bukan gatal kami insan suci,
walaupun malar memblow keluar air mani,
tapi kami tahan mliat bini-bini,
mun nda tahan bawatah mliat porn lagi.

ramai urg uic sudah begirlfren,
tapi ada sorg masih mencari2,
muanya hensem badan pndik macam poklen,
namanya al-hafiz carikan tia ya bini2.

abis girlfren urg kan diambilnya,
jalan kesana-sini mliat bini2,
tapi nda jua ada urg beguna ia,
ksian, ksian bakal jadi gay ni kali.

desperate banar ya kan bekawan bini,
baiktah kitani sama2 berikhtiar mencarikan untuknya ani,
cmanatahkan jua urg bguna mun krita milo yg dnaiki,
hawar ba bini2 tu naik krita warna taie.

utk orang2 UK yg kan balik ke brunei ani,
bacalah pesanan dari aku ani,
sebelum balik baik bawa becek balik2,
mun kami tekana h1n1 ku antar kamu ke uk balik.

nda kami mau tejangkit virus sial atu,
jangantah kan mengambang keskulah dalam seminggu ani,
bawatah chill drumah2 dulu tantukan nada virus atu,
udah atu barutah mengambang bjumpa kami.

bah sampai sini saja puisi ku buat kali ani,
kitani berjumpa pada masa akan datang lagi.
skulah kan dtg hwk alum siap,
jangantah buat, pandai sudah, tatappppp.

2009-07-01T06:25:00.002+08:00

Flight's tmrw, coming back with a few bruneians as well.. Anyways. as the latest post suggests, we shud prob update=) I'll just post a few jokes up la, kinda tired nw.. Hehh

1st one...

It was Jim’s birthday, and he was considered to be an “old man” by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim’s friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker.

The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said “Hi I’m your birthday present!”

Startled, he asked “What am I supposed to do with you?”

“I’m yours for super sex,” she answers.

So Jim replied “Well, I’m 75 years old so I’ll have the soup.”

2nd one....

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were smoking cigarettes one afternoon. The blonde had Camels, red head had Marlboros, and the brunette had Kools.

It began to pour down raining, so the red head and brunette both pull out a condom and put it on their cigs. The blonde says “what are you doing?” – and they say “we’re saving it for later!”

Impressed, and in a hurry, the blonde goes to the nearest store and asks for a condom. The clerk says “What size? small, medium, or large?” She said “I dont know… one to fit a camel?”

3rd one....

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows. We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around, noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.” “That’s when I made my big mistake.” “What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, “Hey, this looks like yours!” “I don’t remember much after that!”

Rightt guys that's it for today.. Jus fyi, all this stuff are taken from the internet and it's not actually from me.. So I'm not a sex-god or anything yeahh.. Cya guys soon(Y)

n104

2009-06-30T18:50:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time sinced i posted here.

Anyways, UICs back to business now please. I think its time to update this pathetic blog -.-

Wheres all the poems and horny stories u all always contribute?

What happened to Izzat's poems?
What happened to Fat troops?
What happened to Molstatic and Nav the Horny Indian?
What happened to Najib's funny stories?
What happened to Riza and Mizan's random posts?
What happened to funny pictures?
What happened to at least 1 update per day?

Someone,answer me please T.T

HAHAHAHA out of randomness =) but i sure do miss all the updates.

UIC FUTSAL MATCH

2009-06-26T22:50:00.004+08:00

Bah ui! Nya c Jijan jdi main futsal suk......

Opponent: W.O. FC (meh~ sounds easier than superfly)
Venue: Padang Kebajikan
Court: Futsal B
Time: 10am - 12am

In the words of Mr. Azizan...."Datang and play or support UIC". I'll be there and hopefully there's a good turn-out. Cheers~

-pijul-

Futsal

2009-06-20T19:56:00.001+08:00

Date : Tuesday, 23rd June 2009/29 Jamadilakhir 1430,
Match : UIC vs Superfly,
Venue : Padang Kebajikan [Futsal B]
Time : 2.00pm - 4.00pm

Please be there...to PLAY or support for UIC

Madin Mohamed

2009-06-18T11:47:00.002+08:00

Madin Mohammed drawing comparisons to the French legend Zinedine Zidane. The youngster already boasts an impressive array of skills and is basically untouchable among players his own age. He can even replicate Zidane's signature move.

Mega clubs Chelsea and Real Madrid among clubs said to be keeping tabs on Madin Mohammed's progress with the football.

Madin’s family moved to France from Algeria at just age three. Seeing his talents early on the French football association has singed him in anticipation of a massive future.

futsal

2009-06-15T20:22:00.002+08:00

to uics. pls confirmkan sapa saja yg main isuk malam. main futsal. bukan atas katil mmbuat anak. mentang2 main + malam lain plg pikiran. di harun's gym. kul 7-9. msg cijat o cnajib. najib la bisai. pls. pls. pls. confirmkan. ramai2kan. terima kaseh.

JALAN SUK

2009-06-14T19:05:00.006+08:00

haji pijul (haji bf) cakap jalan suk....

MSG:

haji pijul: "orno jalan eh suk buringku..."
(dalam hatiku apa orno2 apis wah ki*a)

apis (aku): "aku andang kan jalan suk, bah kau merunding durang"

aku jua last2 merunding
bh suruh ia blanja apa jua wyg ari isnin ji, haji pijul ensem baik blanja wah murah jua tu esuk,
mundahan ia blanja amin!

BILA JALAN?

2009-06-12T21:07:00.002+08:00

bila jalan? isnin, selasa, rabu, atau khamis? time murah wyg, kamu ne lagi payah di runding, sorang2 mcm alasan, kapih tia.. kan besunat tia apa, aku milih isnin, berkat hari pertama mmmmhhhh, bh runding eh sapa kaki lepak ah

jalan jalan cari makan,
jalan-jalan cari bini,
jalan jalan

2009-06-10T14:05:00.005+08:00

O_O
oh uic blog ani lama dah bangas jarang be update oi,
sorang2 sibuk belajar supaya nda jadi paloi,
exam pun abis dah selasai,
ilmu yg dibaca smuanya sekelipmata hilang parai,

bh jalan eh cuti ani,
lepak di gadong jual mua mcm tambi,
nda lain dituju ke mall gadong,
di sana nada jua buat papa kurik idung,

ku dangar c mahri makin hari makin melating,
sampai kana bagi nama c 'Puting',
nda jua apa janji kau handal main bowling,
show off nya kan mati bari kan menampiling

bh adang tah blajar jgn show off,
nunjuk2 ya antah ko eh fuck off,
bh enjoy eh sebelum qualifying tiba,
enjoy2 begay2 meraba2

buntu utak memikir
parai, pikir sndiri sapa

2009-06-09T14:52:00.004+08:00

nama baru utk durg, sian ndakan c orno sama c ambuk gnya benama unik

awg basit - aruk

awg liau - encook

haji faizul - haji BF

apis mahri- uic wana be, payah nick utk iya, durg manggil ia tadi c puting entah mengapa psl kpala bulatnya kali, panggil tia dgn nama unik ne

wassalam

2009-06-07T10:13:00.003+08:00

To add something to this blog,

I suggest

UICEURO vs UICBRUNEI futsal

when they are back in Brunei.

Proving that DPMM FC can beat EPL teams ( HAHA apakan )

Next update:
Right after exam.

k26threes.
Reviving the UIC blog

2009-05-01T21:18:00.002+08:00

tomorrow's final:

12.30-1 and 3.30-4.30

kwang vs eric
nisa vs rosamalina
riza&adrian vs Haziq&eric
rosamalina& fahizun vs izzaty& simaa
smaa 3rd place match paham2 lah ah

2009-05-01T09:08:00.002+08:00

today's match

2.30-sampai abis..

rosamalina&fahizun vs adi&lieyana
izzatyamanina&simaa vs peijin&marlene
kwang vs adrian

eric vs wafeeq
colin&adlan vs riza&adrian
haziq&eric vs najib&hamizan
all 3rd place match mun samapt semua lah

sorry akhir ku mempost,
r28

2009-04-26T09:17:00.003+08:00

So last friday right, the day after sports day, which was the day before saturday, the seventh day after 17th April, my mama woke me up when the saliva on my cheek was in the process of drying up, right before the sun rose and shined.

"NAJIB ANAKKU SAYANG HARAPAN MAMA UNTUK MEMBAWA BERUNAI ANI MAJU LAGI CEMERLANG, BANGUN! tolong bersihkan aisbuk ah. Makin hari macam-macam sudah mama liat isinya aisbuk atu"

being the lovely son i am, i replied in the most angelic voice ever,

"okayy mamaaa :) "

She stood at my door, sighed happily and smiled, feeling lucky she's got a son like me.

so i got off my triple king sized bed, put on my winnie the pooh slipperd, brushed my teeth along with my diamond filled grills and proceeded to the targeted fridge. as soon as i opened the door, the bright light striked my body and bounced off the smooth surface. eseh. I took a box from the door compartment that reads 'ubat batuk cap anak dan ibu' and checked the expiry date.

" 13 Oct 1995"

reading that, my jaw dropped in disbelief. I searched more, found more expired medicines and found the surprise cake that i never got to eat when i turned 6. Afraid that these might be eaten by others, i took 'em all and threw 'em in a plastic bag. 3 hours 56 minutes 42 seconds later, the fridge is clean as new.

I then carried the 7865kg plastic bag full of stone-aged food and medicine outside the house to the rubbish bin for the truck sampah man, Latip Anak Stuggy, to pick up. almost immediately after i put the plastic bag in the bin, a number of dogs attacked the bin, tore the plastic with their sharp canines and devoured everything inside. They gulped the expired Bodrex Obat Batuk Flu Pilek dan yang sejenis dengannya.

Seconds later, the dogs began rolling on the floor macam urang tecramp bagas belawan menari, then started shaking all round as if they were experiencing a seizure. Then things got quiet for a moment or so as they lie down in silence. I approached them, slowly and rather cautiously. from where i was, i noticed that they look different than before. i dont know what, yet, but there is definitely something different about them.

Suddenly, all of the dogs got on their legs, facing towards me with the imma-bite-you-til-you-dont-look-like-a-monkey-no-more-boi look. their eyes turned orange and their Angelina lips pouted in anger.

those 'dogs' scared the shit out of me. so I ran as fast as i could, faster than Usain Bolt maybe, as they chased me. after minutes of running, jumping over longkangs, climbing off pagars and what not, i started to get tired. so i hid behind a tree, broke a piece of wood from its branch's branch punya branch. then i injected myself with a dose of guts and stood still facing the 'dogs'. they stopped right in front of me, looking ready to pounce anytime. it felt like one of those cowboy shootout scenes. I slowly showed them the wooden stick. then i said,

"FETCH!!" and threw the stick as far as i could and ran away to safety.

from that moment on, those dogs were nowhere to be seen.

hasta la vista,

Najib

2009-04-24T20:09:00.002+08:00

khutbah jumaat

distractions during prayer, campur cali sikit

2009-04-23T18:16:00.003+08:00

puisi ini bukan ditujukan kepada laksamana,
tetapi kepada apis porno yang cilaka,
antara semua tadi kau yang punca,
sebab kau tah urang suka duka.

urang seluar itam,
kau ganya seluar kuning.
kalau mau lakastah beantam,
maietah wang kitani betampiling.

inda ku ada idea eh. antam saja. jangan kehati ah orno. hehehehe tau jua kau aku ani siapakan. wawawa.
btw,Congrats everyone for making this year's sports day a memorable one!

2009-04-23T15:37:00.001+08:00

sooorrrryyyyy badminton match for tomorrow is cancel, kan berehat dulu so tell the others..

2009-04-22T21:05:00.003+08:00

LAKSAMANA gagah perkasa,
manang atu andang sudah biasa,
taun ani grenti numbur satu,
psl ada dynamic-duo gman and bulu,
laksamana selalu bagi yg terbaik,
rumah lain dui carik-mencarik..

PANGLIMA dui maaa ksian,
grenti kamu kalah mati-matian,
walau mcmana pun kamu usaha,
semuanya dui sia-sia..

PAHLAWAN nada membari-bari,
iatah gnya kamu banggakan handal menari,
mun yg lain kamu ancur,
krg kalah sedih kamu smpai jantung tegugur..

HULUBALANG ani macam banar,
ia juanya karang tu gagar,
walaupun ada star2 urg kamu,
laksa bah alum kamu tau..

blank ku bh, jgn marah ndakan kehati.. daripada nada be update

alhafiz#11
aher kata: MINUM MILO ANDA JADI SEHAT DAN KUAT

2009-04-17T19:55:00.002+08:00

sat 18/04

eric&haziq vs amir& azman
riza&adrian vs chin kai&edmond

12.30-1.00 p.m

2009-04-15T22:52:00.002+08:00

17/04/09

2.30-3.00
Adi vs Rosamalina
Chin Kai & Edmond vs Riza & Adrian
Waf vs Adlan. (manang adlan ni eh)

3.05-3.30
Kwang vs Haziq
Khairunnisa vs Hazirah
Izzaty & Simaa vs Raziqin & Qayah

3.35-4.00
Izzatie & Afieqah vs Adi & Lieyana
Azizan & Chris vs Najib & Hamizan

4.05-4.30
Azim & Liau (the sayur) vs Colin & Adlan
Riza vs Eric
Izzat vs Najib (charity match)

As you can see. things are heated up in this intense tournament. Adlan has managed to get through to the quarter final in both categories. will he continue his winning streak? or will he be knocked out? no one knows. but surely, there's a very high probabily of 9/10 that he will win against wafeeq easily. probably with the score 21-6, 21-6. but miracles could happen. sometimes we just need that bit of a luck. pls do support mr. kumis.

On the other category, adlan seems to be facing another easy opponent. the sayur liau n azim. Another easy win for adlan and colin. probably winning with the score 21-0 21-9. with the unbelievable height difference between liau and colin surely liau is at a disadvantage. and with the difference in the experience in the game between adlan and azim. again, team sayur is at a disadvantage. will they be able to overcome the invicible adlan and colin? or will they fall? who noes.

With the Charity match at the end of friday's tournament. the loser will determine who is the worst single badminton player. the title of the loser is at stake. who will lose? will it be izzat? will it be najib? again. no one noes. these two kaling brothers is just fantastic when u look at their losing records. there is a very intense heat rivalry between these two players. owhhhh. not even one of them want to be declared the winner of the match. both do not want to step down from the challenge. and both surely wants that title "the ultimate loser." the money of the charity match akan diberi kepada diri kami sndiri. ni dalam pakit. mun baik sdakah2 tah. gagaga XD

Don't forget to bet. betting utk sapa manang n kalah dapat djumpai di meja uic. kalau kan bet jangan malu2. wafeeq? 21-6 21-6. the sayur? 21-0 21-9. bah betaruh $10. gagaga

2009-04-08T20:10:00.005+08:00

10/04/09
sorry ada last minute berubah...
and sorry kepada yang main dua kali atu..
kalau bulih datang awal ahh payah ku mencari cari karang mun lambat ku disqualify ni bnar2

2.30-3.00

rashidah&peejah VS rosamalina&fahizun
waf&syaf VS kai&edmond
Adi&lieyana VS wina&hazirah

3.05-3.30

chris VS adrian

adlan VS izzat
peijin&marlene VS khairunisa&faiqa

3.35-4.00

riza VS chinkai

hazirah VS qayah

adi VS wina

4.05-4.30

najib&hamizan VS baasit&hjsyafiq
amir&azman VS ehsan&orno

siapa yang dapat ambil aku paham2 tah gtau aku..
bah udah ni ku post.
see you tomorrow

r28

2009-04-05T14:34:00.002+08:00

6/04/09

12.30-1.00pm

haziq&eric VS hakeem& zaki

gfaez&hafizmahri VS colin&adlan

bah isuk lapas class tarus tah kamu ke gym belawan tah kamu tu

2009-03-29T20:18:00.005+08:00

Amendment

schedule utk 3/04/09

2.30-3.00

(b.d) azizan&chris vs afiq&hafiz zaili [court3]
(g.s) rosamalina vs simaa [court1]
(g.d) izzati&afieqah vs haziqah&amiratul [court2]

3.05-3.30:

(b.d) waf&syafvs kai&edmond [court3]
(g.s) hazirah vs raziqin [court1]
(g.d) rosamalina&fahizun vs rashidah& peejah [court2]

3.35-4.00:

(b.s) amir vs eric [court 2]
(b.d)izzat&kwang vs riza&adrian [court3]
(g.s) syazwina vs izzaty [court1]

4.05-4.30:

(b.s) haziq vs najib [court2]
(b.d) colin vs hakeem [court3]
(g.s)khairunisa vs nazihah [court1]

kepada yang balum membayar atu paham2 tah ah mun aku inda menerima, kamu DISQUALIFIED ni.. ttau2 tah kamu kan diri kamu malas tah ku kan menyabut nama kamu. yang inda sure atu andang bawa tah saja duit lapas atu tanya aku...

and yang inda main time atu klau bulih datang jjua ah tampa2 karang mun inda datang.

r28

Videos of UIC euro

2009-03-27T15:51:00.003+08:00

video si yee fah sama si chiea khai jadi gangster dah di uk. durang masuk this hip hop crew di Gresham. durang ada gang dah di uk inda durang mau kami lagi.. haha.. Cash in my pocket feat. cck and hu yee fah aka sampah boi..

and this video is made masa di brunei hall kul 2 pagi in room no.4. ani apologies to the guys sal masa malam atu kaki ku bebau brabis.. sorry tah tu bui, yatah akibat pakai kasut the whole day tu nah.. hahahaha. Run by UIC's own snow patrol (singers: Najmi, Naveen, Chiea Khai, Sabri & Farid. Guitar: Bokh & Ian. Cameraman: Yee Fah).. Enjoy...

aku harap kamu tau lah apa saja kami buat sini ani.. yang pentingnya kami jobless lah sini sampai buat video2 ani.. haha

NajmiTheFriendlyGiantJoblessMenguploadVideo

ps: HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KWANG LAKSA CAPTAIN and HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY ABUL AZEEF PILOT-TO-BE FROM KAMI SEMUA UIC EURO!!

2009-03-26T20:41:00.000+08:00

uic, sir azlan memanggil isuk.
dirumahnya.
ia bebadak. kawin nda ya manggil. bebadak saja.
bah harap maklum.
pkul 8 malam tu.

kalau mau alamatnya msg saja ku.
p jgn asi2 si akun mcm cbanar kan dtg.
abis saja kditku krg.
bah.

tau kamu ni aku sapa.
pak off.

HAPPY BADAY KWANG

2009-03-26T00:48:00.000+08:00

simple saja kwang
al-11

urang brunei ni nyamoooo!!!

2009-03-26T00:29:00.002+08:00

Micbandits - Apa Khabar?

izzo chezzo.14

ps; second post yaww.

theories.

2009-03-08T18:10:00.008+08:00

theory pertama:

aku rasa, mandi aing gelugut, walaupun sekali junam, atau sekali terajun, bulih menghilangkan daki-daki pada badan tani. hence, memutihkan kulit by at least 0.07345 peratus. buktinya:

balum cuba alum tau bui.

theory kedua:

orang kurus karing, atau cangkir, sebenarnya lebih berat daripada yang dijangka. buktinya:

prasan ku, ramai udah mengangkat tu, tinggi cematu ganya kami mampu mengangkat.

theory ketiga:

kita semua ada hidung. tanpa hidung kita tidak mampu bernafas. dapat pulang, dari mulut, tapi inda bersih. iatah, idung ani, mun kan tau lah, kalaunya kambang, muat dua ibu jari yo. cuba kamu liat ni gambar dibawah ah mun inda pecaya. sukat tia oleh kamu.

eksenku. tapi mun idung kamu muat dua ibu jari, aku respect tu.

last but not least:

melihat daripada foto diatas yang diambil dalam jangka masa lebih kurang 3 bulan, pertumbuhan rambut spesimen terbabit, yakni i211, hanya lah 0.00013mm.

kepada sesiapa yang ingin menghulurkan bantuan produk-produk rambut yang dapat membantu, dipersilakan. semoga bantuan anda dibalas dengan kebaikan.

sekian,

Najib.

criastiano bulu.

2009-03-06T10:12:00.006+08:00

Bernama Muhammad Azizan,

kana panggil si bulu,

suaranya tinggi kalah Ian Chan,

kalau menyanyi inda pandai merdu.

si Azizan ani, kalau kamu kan tau, inda lagi mau main jadi keeper. belabih udah ya masa ani. masa ani ia main attacking, si Afiq pulang jadi keeper. and dua-dua handal arah position baru bisdia ani.

lets talk about Azizan.

For the past three futsal outings, he has scored AT LEAST a hat trick. seriously. and because of his amazing abillity to score goals, we call him Kristiano Ronaldo. and mind you, pebaik tah bida goal nya, celebrationnya macam urang main final arah champions league. banar.

and just in case kamu confused mana satu si zizan, ia yang sebalah kanan. andangnya payah kan tau mana satu ia, sal kan sama wah macam cristiano ronaldo.

Sepantas kilat, atau pantas lagi ia dari kilat, marking si Bulu ani sehampir-hampir mustahil. Gaya berlarinya yang macam penguin kan lari dari melting icebergs atu mehancurkan tumpuan pihak lawan, kasut Gundam nya yang berwarna merah putih, atau yang masa ani semua putih, direka bentuk oleh Cheetah Brand khas untuk kaki-kaki gergasi berbulu. Satu tendangan dengan kasut itu membuat bola melayang selaju 130kn/hour. jangan nda caya.

Rambut yang diseluputi minyak kelapa itu, membuat sinaran matahari mengantul dari rambutnya yang serba keriting kemata pihak lawan dan ini membuat pihak lawan tertanya-tanya mana perginya si Bulu ani sewaktu bermain bola. kajap sbalah kiri, kajap kanan. laju nyamu.

Tubuh fizikal yang mantap, terima kasih kepada JPMC gym kerana menolong membina tubuh yang serba sempurna ini, membuat sesiapa yang men-tackle ia teplanting. pasal putingnya, jangantah di sabut, mambari galat.

selain main bula, azizan aka bulu aka Kristiano Ronaldo ani juga mempunyai bakat dalam bermain bowling. dan pada masa ini juga,dia telah di iktiraf oleh Kementerian Hal Ehwal Dalam Negeri India sebagai 'sexiest beast alive'.

gaya-gayanya, ada bakat modelling jua pulang si zizan ani.

all in all, i salute you mr.Bulu!

adios,

-Najib

ps; jangan marahh. main-main aje

2009-03-02T21:47:00.000+08:00

UIC CHINESE NEW YEAR.

Part 1

Badminton pu2 open

2009-03-01T10:05:00.002+08:00

to any interested pu2 students who wants to join the Badminton Open for PU2, please register to me, Najib hensem, for both singles and doubles. both men and women. boys and girls lah.hahah.
payments for each categories are:
single - $4
double- $8 per pair. $4 ringgit sorang lah.

yang sudah register tapi alum bayar atu, bayar tia hari isnin, pasal maybe beundi hari selasa ani,3rd march 2009. so yang alum register pun, register tah ah by monday.

lets make us, the first batch to organize our own badminton tourney, after being the 1st batch to enjoy 6 years of PE.

thank you.

Najib.

Talisman advertisement.

2009-02-26T14:48:00.002+08:00

kalau kamu main, masuk arh server ani "Earth and Seas" and join my group

"BruneianPower"

Liat tu dorang belawan diatas ah Anarchy vs 8 team lain. nanti tani lagi melawan dorang. hahahhaa!! look for me DA lvl 35 =p a.k.a R35

2009-02-22T18:18:00.008+08:00

A couple of minutes after clicking 'add to cart' and filling all the necessary details needed at QQestore.com, my doorbell rang. someones at the door. i approached my glass door and saw a man holding a big box on the other side of the door. i opened the door and the man's smile caught my attention the very moment i opened the door. with two almost square teeth showing in front, he reminded me of spongebob.

"smekom lai. Najib kah? sign sini ah" he said, as he handed me a piece of paper and a Fabre Castle pen that costs $1.30 at Utama Grand.

i signed the paper like i was told to.

"thank you lai ah" said the man again before he handed me the box.
i took the huge box from his vainy hands and shut the door.

"wow. that was fast" i said to myself as i look at the box. it was the thing i just ordered from QQstation moments ago.

Guitar Hero World Tour.

i rushed to my room and brought the box along. i took out a cutter, slashed the into popcorn-chicken-like bits and assembled the guitar, the drumset and the mic. i holla-ed at my siblings and we rocked all night long.

i woke up the next day with a sore throat, sore arms and my fingers felt numb. all this thanks to the game. i made my way into my toilet,rubbing my eyes at every step i take and yawned as i entered the toilet.

i took my toothbrush, put toothpaste on it and brushed my teeth. as i was doing this, i was also shaving my humbly ugly janggut and scratching my back at the same time. it was at that very moment, my brain started to function again with a question,

"eh? cemana bulih aku barus gigi, menggaru and becukur at the same time ah?" said myself, picking my nose.

then i realised i had more hands than before. i dashed my way in front of a mirror and stared at my not-magnified-nor-minimised-image

I turned into a guitar hero freak overnight!

however, i have read about this phenomenon in Karma Sutra:the Rockers Way. eh i mean Google. hehehe.

the only way to undo this is to shove the guitar up the ass, poke the drumsticks into both nostrills,choke yourself with the mic and eat kangkong. the kangkong part made me not want to do it. so i'll stay as a Guitar Hero Freak.

adiossss suckas!
Najib.

Pimp my ride - Facts about the mean machine "The milo"

2009-02-22T07:26:00.002+08:00

From this......

To this....

Here are facts about porno's ride after been gangsterly PIMPED by our own UIC pimp my ride crew and hosted by ziqzibit :-

The 1990 Toyota corolla also known as "The Milo" is the sport version of the new 2009 Toyota corolla. The "Milo" host a faster engine and more aggressive body kit eventho this car was first made in the 90's. The body kit transformation includes a hood painted in black for cooling the turbo engine and making the car look more aggresive, smiling front bumper grill with a lip, side skirts, sporty rear bumper showing off gigantic straight pipes, 17 inch "two piece" rims (specially made by CHAM workshop for drifters) and sport carbon-fiber spoiler(made by CHAM workshop also). This sporty motherfucker features a 2.3 litre TURBOCHARGED engine that rated 260hp and 280 lb-ft of torque. This exciting new transformation hot hatch will will join the 2009 carshow held at Brunei Airforce parking lot after its debut at Kadai Basi Buruk. Let's see if this hot hatch can keep up or even better defeat the European hot hatches such as the VW Golf GTi and Audi R8.

tuned by: CHAM workshop (located in Lambak)

pimped by: UIC pimp my ride crew (located in ???)

Pimp My Ride - Granted!

2009-02-21T22:29:00.005+08:00

Dear Al-Porno,

After reading ur email that u've sent to UIC Pimp my ride.I'm Ziqzibit have agreed to make ur dream come true. I've been told that your unfortunate so called "milo car" really need to be pimped.My crew have decided to do some make over to ur pityful car. So, I'm here by officially going to reveal ur Toyota Milo Car v8 X-Al-11-po-R-no especially customed for you.Fully equiped..

I hope u like it. thank you.

your sincerely,
Ziqzibit2611

2009-02-21T19:59:00.001+08:00

2009-02-21T18:48:00.003+08:00

PLEASE PIMP MY RIDE!

Dear Xzibit,
Anu bah baie eh. krita ku yg ku pohon spaya d pimp ani bah. bilatah kan kau pimp? kima kau ani. batah. janji nigga banar. kalah janji melayu. wawawa. kalau bulih tah ah. laju2tah. hawar ku bah kan krita ku ani. lama jua udah ku isi burangnya. full name ic numbur apa udah ku bagi. bah jgn batah. pimp kan tia krita ku. ku tampar2 kau plang karang eh. barus krg muka mu sampai putih. kau mau tu ih. wawawa. bah pimp kan ride ku yo ah. cmana kan mmbawa bini2 ni krita cmani ani. lalah eh. muka hensem dah. krita buruk. please pimp my ride yo. kalau bulih lah. jgn batah2 ba. malu jua ku tu kan mmbawa kmana2. warna mcm taie, coklat, macam milo lah. buruk lagi tu. nda lagi laju tu. gear ku paling laju speed 1 ah. bah tulung tah ku nah.

btw ku harap kau paham melayu lah ah. englishku ani buruk bah. wawawa.

sekian, terima kasih.

Introducing.....THE MILO.

From the back. cool kan?

Wafeeq checking the car.

From the Front. buruk hantap eh.
Smile bebeh.
Cheers.

peace. love.

2009-02-19T19:50:00.006+08:00

WANTED

Seorang anak berbangsa melayu telah hilang.
bapanya mencari2. tapi inda pandai dapat.
akhirnya bapanya putus asa.
"mati tah ko eh. nyusahkan. dcari nda jua pandai ada" nya bapanya.
anaknya terbiar di dunia yg luas.
ani gambarnya.
If tejumpa tpun bmobile utk arahan seterusnya. cali eh.

AWWW~ sweet innocent little kid.

awu masa damit ganya tu. andang smua urg kiut masa damit.
si najib lagi putih masa damit.
nothing is impossible.
wawawa XD

Soon after.
Anaknya jadi basar.
maklumla. mun makin basar ani. makin bida la mua.
Ni nah usulnya sudah basar.
mcm gorilla.
spesis binatang monkey-gorilla ni.
bukan manusia.
wawawa cali. ktawa wah baie.

bari kan nampar ganya nda. haha

Conclusion: Ever wondered cmana bulih kanak2 damit kiut miut biut innocent usulnya membasar jadi gorilla tutung?
u decide.
cramin diri kamu. nda jua brapa lawa. kamu pn sama jua makin basar membida. andang smua urg catu. dats life. deal with it. nda ja?

peace. love.

Happy Baday Amiroso

2009-02-12T17:50:00.007+08:00

Happy Birthday Amiruddin bin Hamdan,
kau lelaki sejati bukan mcm c Wapig pundan,
kau handal dalam sukan,
bkan mcm c Wapig badar lagi pundan.
(HA-HA MAJAL)

Happy birthday awg amir,
makin tua makin bekaradut landir, (ahaha)
sudah tua ani berakal2 tah,
jgn mcm c basit membari lalah.

1-2-3 kucing belari,
c basit muanya cantik mcm bidadari,
kpd abg amir yg ku sayangi,
Selamat ari jadi

makin tua makin basar ***ir ehem,
sapa paham ehem atu bahasa dalam,
paham2 kan saja tia apa makin tumbuh panjang,
sama sifatnya barang atu mcm c liau nunjuk kancang

sorry ah yg urg2 ku ucap,
sabar saja tia bawa makan kicap, (apkn)
bukannya apa.. nada idea bah,
mun mau kamu mmbuat bah

Ui mir bila ko kan lanja,
nada alasan walaupun kau alum kraja,
jgn saja karang nada,
aku ku tumbuk bana.

al-11 esuk2 tah nyambung buntu utak

Copying is a good thing to do.

2009-02-08T21:58:00.002+08:00

so..
every year there's this thing right, where MS's sport houses select, or elect i should say, an unfortunate earthling to pile up responsibilities on. or onto. watever. but, to make that person feel better, they call them 'house captain'. And for the reigning champions at heart, Pahlawan, Mr. Haziq Hazazi Naga
Berantai Ramli got chosen, thanks to the screams of the juniors. He was like a RamBro. Zeck Ramli. One girl fainted when she mistakenly thought Seng winked at her, while Seng was actually just blinking. just.

so anyway, i registered myself in every event such as running, shot putt, javelin, discuss, long jump and many more. and that leaves me, so far, not joining field performance only.

I am pretty determined this year that pahlawan can win. I, accompanied by Azim and Najib will probably just wait at the checkpoints during the annual cross country event as the school elongated the route to 7.2km. shut up Jib, kau sama jua inda fit macam aku.

okay, i should stop blabbing for now. i'll tell you guys some stories next time. adios.
-z2611

2009-02-07T21:25:00.002+08:00

so..
every year there's this thing right, where MS's sport houses select, or elect i should say, an unfortunate earthling to pile up responsibilities on. or onto. watever. but, to make that person feel better, they call them 'house captain'. And for the reigning champions at heart, Panglima, Mr. Seng Eng Tieng Jeng Ling got chosen, thanks to the screams of the juniors. He was like a JoBro. Seng Jonas. One girl fainted when she mistakenly thought Seng winked at her, while Seng was actually just blinking. just.

so anyway, i registered myself in every event except for running, shot putt, javelin, discuss, long jump and many more. and that leaves me, so far, with field performance only.

I am pretty determined this year that panglima can win. I, accompanied by Azim will probably just wait at the checkpoints during the annual cross country event as the school elongated the route to 7.2km. shut up najmi, kau sama jua badar.

okay, i should stop blabbing for now. i'll tell you guys some stories next time. adios.
-najib

2009-02-07T01:09:00.002+08:00

Anti-UIC, this post is specially for you.. Hahahaha, since ko keboringan and nada kawan as you said, at least once in your life let there be a post for you=D Be happy.. Aku cari online one specifically for you, and God provided one perfect one..

Unfortunately, I think you won't understand some of the stuff, but don't try too hard. Just read what you understand ok=D

1.I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

2.I bet your mother has a loud bark!

3.I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

4.I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

5.I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

6.I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

7.I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

8.I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

9.I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

10.I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.

11.I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

12.I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

13.I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

14.I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

15.I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

16.I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

17.I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

18.I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

19.I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission!

20.If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

21.If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

22.If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

23.If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.

24.If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

25.If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

26.Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

27.Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

28.Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

29.So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

30.Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

31.There is no vaccine against stupidity.

How was that? Awesome kan, 31 points just for you. Probabably only post you'll get..

n104

Read this!!

2009-02-06T03:03:00.002+08:00

ANTI-UIC GILA BAIE!!!

chaam,

(kalau mau bejumpa)

2009-02-03T17:54:00.004+08:00

Its been long since my last post. sorry chelsea, you got owned by ManU and Liverpool. apakan out.i know its late, but Happy Birthday Najmi! and since you love puisi so much, im going to make one for you. walaupun crappy. hahah

Namanya Najmi,
bapanya Jasni,
tinggal di batu besurat,
badannya barat amat sangat.

orangnya tinggi lampai,
slalu senyum macam urang sakai,
Dalam squash, katanya ia handal,
ku liat ia lawan sama orang, sama jua babal.

inda handal lah tu ertinya.

liat muanya,
liat taie lalat,
hensem lah ia ani,
hensem taie palat.

aku cuba sedaya upaya bepuisi tanpa kata-kata kasar,
tapi vocab melayu ku ani inda basar,
so ertinya paksa tah jua ni najmi,
ku tampar kau karang jangan macam staie.

kes nada idea tu bui.

ingat kau masa di rumah Izzat Haji zaini?
masa atu bapanya alum lagi naik haji,
kau pinjam jambannya seorang diri,
udah ku abis,jamban atu bau kupi!

Izzat: "eh naj, bau kupi jua jambanku ani uleh mu"
Najmi: "*mua awkward* suri bui, ku banyak minum kupi tadi pagi bah."

hahhaha.

kalau tidur, tidurnya tidur mati,
di tempiling apa pun inda jua mau bangun,
satu cara saja yang dapat membanguni,
picik juburnya sekuat-kuat hati.

dulu di brunei, ani di uk,
dari dulu sampai ani, tatap jua gay.
ku doakan kau murah rezeki,
supaya balik Brunei dapat lanja-lanja kami. hehehe

umurmu lapan belas sudah,
jangantah staie ke Bar Mitzvah, (cuba kamu google gambarnya, 'bar mitzvah'.)
diri atu alum belesen,
kau jeles tu nanti jangantah kan eksen. hahah apakan.

naj, inda lagi siuk puisi kami ani, nada flow udah. hahah. apa-apa pun, syabas kau hidup 18 tahun udah. slamat hari jadi bui.

-Najib

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IZZAT HAJI ZAINI

2009-01-22T06:39:00.004+08:00

photo courtesy of zul's facebook.. hehe

sejak lama lama sudah blog ani inda post pantun/puisi/sajak/gurindam/seloka/syair so aku sini ani kan buat a "UIC PANTUN SPECIAL" lah, khas utk ABANG IZZAT BIN HAJI ZAINI (mesti pakai 'abang' sal ia tua dari aku dah) aka uicrutipaun i211.. so i hope kamu suka lah pantun ku & i hope kamu banyak tag jua lapas membaca pantun ani.. hahaha:

happy 18th birthday!! Izzat bin Haji Zaini,
yang hari jadinya masa 21 January,
aku tau akhir sikit ku post pantun ani,
dengan itu terlebih dahulu saya mengucapkan sorry..

ia ani kadang2 bulih jua jadi gay,
how gay you ask? oh certainly.. i cant say, (seriously you guys dont wanna know)
"Mudah-mudahan ia jadi straight balik" i pray everyday,
if not, najib's ass would have to pay. 0_0 (sakit masih jubur mu jib? hahaha)

kalau kan mengikis duit/ngambil kesempatan, ia tah ni urangnya,
asal kluar saja eksen tia wallet ia lupa bawa,
so berjaga-jaga tah kitani UIC semua,
sebelum bankrupt tani semua ulihnya.. wawawa XD

ia ani slalu sekepala sama si najib,
sal sorang itam sorang atu putih,
usul dorang ani macam sahabat karib,
tapi aku tau jubur si najib yang selalu jarih. (palui gay things ganya saja yang ku buat ani.. inda bagus eh.. haha)

ia claim dirinya sendiri macam chuck bass, =P
but i prefer to call him chuck 'ASS', (cawie jua eh aku ani)
kalau main bula, cakap basar as if ia yang the BEST,
tapi skali time main, nervous brabis macam bagas kana possessed..

umur 18 tahun inda jua mau tinggi-tinggi,
itu adalah salah satu characteristic Izzat Haji Zaini,
walaupun kalau ko becali kadang-kadang inda cali,
kami ketawa jua, walaupun ko macam baie. (haha sorry inda ada idea lagi)

aku tau jat ko rindu aku,
sal aku tau ko gay cematu,
walaupun aku jauh berbatu-batu,
ku bersyukur, at least inda jua ko begay sama aku.. hahahahaha

18 tahun dah umurnya ani,
tapi ulahnya masih jua macam baie,
tapi inda jua kami sisihi,
pasal kitani UIC sehidup semati.. (mati jiwang tah pulang nah.. yatah bagi malas ni buat poem ani)

on behalf of UIC EURO, kami ngucapkan selamat hari jadi Izzat Haji Zaini,
kalau bulih lanja-lanja tah kami di sini,
jangantah susah-susah, duit saja ko kirimi,
sal membuat poem ani bebayar eh, ko pikir pree!! (haha)

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY IZZAT HAJI ZAINI!! SEMOGA KO MAKIN TINGGI. AMIN~ HAHAHA

NajmiTheFriendlyGiantStayedUpLateToWriteThisFreakinPoem

CUTE PIC!!!

2009-01-20T21:43:00.007+08:00

CUTE PIC
[BLONDE CHICK WITH CUTE PUSSY!!!]

Nah berupdate udah....
Suka kali anti-uic meliat gambar ni.
[Please be warned, the picture may be unsuitable for children under 18....Its up to you to decide =S]

----------------------------------------------------

Blonde Chick and pussy O.o

What were you guys thinking???

Perverts =.="

Btw Happy B'day to jat(i211)
Jgn lupa to lanja me.

Buang Boring....
C.291 - no life

2009-01-13T23:24:00.003+08:00

alhafiz11

2009-01-13T20:40:00.005+08:00

A recent survey from Perogolsedunia.com showed that the number of rape and molestation cases have been increasing rapidly, over the past few years. And the public has been urged to help the authorities to reduce these number of cases as it ruins the image of the country. When asked how we, the public, can help, one idea arisen;

Detect potential molesters or rapist in their teenage hood and keep them under probation before they ‘strike’. Because at this age, their raging hormones makes their eyes attracted to semi hemispherical objects.

Detecting these potential molesters or rapists is easy as the signs or symptoms are pretty obvious. All that is needed is to place a busty ~~slut~~ woman near the suspect and see the result. The picture below shows a potential rapist. Serial rapist would even be possible, I’m sure.

Tsk tsk, bad boy. Bad boy. melangap lagi tu.

But some are not as obvious as the unskilled perverted boy above. Some are very sneaky, you can’t tell he’s a perv. They stand next to the ‘meal’ and start devouring by glancing or peeking, or menyubuk, at the heavenly object now and then. Chances of the suspect getting caught doing this is quite low. But this is a risky move as it may lead to drooling.

~~Bokh~~ budak yang tidak diketahui identitinya menahan air liur dari melilih.

So please help the authorities for a rape-free future. If you think your neighbour’s son has potential, then just call our hotline at +6738****61. and while you’re on the look, watch out for this guy as well.

Warning: he does guys too.

Najib.

ps: diam saja mun inda cali.

2009-01-12T20:05:00.002+08:00

The Dream,
Title: A peeping tom? No, a peeping CHRIS.

In his early days, Chris was a really obedient and good boy. He likes to follow instructions from his friends and teachers. He never defy any orders delivered to him. He was the Mr.Do-everything-what-people-say. In another rude way to describe him, he was the d*g. However, time had changed. Obama had become president. Palestinians like bombs. Gaza dislike bombs. Chris had changed as well. He had turned over a rotten leaf. He is now officially known as the Mr.Do-nothing-and-watch-people-suffer of UIC.

He had conducted a lot of criminal activities in UIC which includes going against teachers in school, lying without any expressions, smiling without any reasons, not doing any homeworks, escape class when teacher is in class and a lot if to be mentioned. The worst of all, he had developed a hobby which is peeping people in toilets. To make things even worse, he peeps at guys. I am not completely sure if hes gay but i think this is a very serious matter. This concerned about his marriage with his future partner and would certainly disappoint his family who had high hopes of having a Chris-Batman grandson. I finally found out the reason of all these happenings. The main source: Chris do not know how to smile. Without a smile on your face, you forgot what is happiness and will think on the dark side. Not to mention the dark skin tone as well.

So here, i wish Chris a very '' bright '' future. To prevent any racism to continue, i want to enforce the usage of the word '' non-white '' instead of the sensitive '' black ''. Black is beautiful =D. Chris is not gay of course but i cant assure you he wont be one in the future. Siapa yang terasa atu2, sorry2 lah. Me minta maaf =).

Everything above is just a dream. What i typed is not 100% true. That is if you wanted to admit it. No offence aight. CHIGGERS FOR LIFE.

UIC Cina's k263

2009-01-11T19:13:00.004+08:00

After I parked my orange Kijang, I entered the ICC through its main door feeling a tad bit nervous as I was about to continue my journey in the PES2009 tournament in the PS3 category. My fake Breitling watch showed ten minutes to 10 AM. The tournament is only going to start in about 25 minutes. Even the exhibition wasn’t opened yet. So I made my way to the toilet and did some investing. Melabur wah, direct translation tu. Beria lah, mun atu jua inda paham, mati tah ko.

“UMMMMMPHHHHHH!!!”

And then I flushed.

Feeling 8 kilos lighter, I walked into the Plenary Hall where the exhibition was. The place was packed, it was like going to the MS cafeteria during breaktime. I headed my way to the far end of the nicely lit hall and checked out the nearby booths along the way.

The first thing that caught my eye was the Panasonic HDTV. The animated movie, Open Season was being played at that time, to show the quality of the tv, I guess. It was so good I could see the bear’s kutu.

My moment staring at every bit of the tv was spoilt by the voice of a Chinese man, speaking rather loud and unclear. I turned and saw a crowd surrounding this small booth, blocking my view of the man. So I went there to check what all the fuss is about.

He was speaking in mandarin, but I understood him as mandarin is my fifth language, after Malay,English, French and Japanese. I know a bit of Tagalog too. Sos Mario sep, try find out what it means.

Anyways, the man said,

“Mummys and daddys ah, and also serial killers lah, this knife ah *holds up a knife* is one of the latest product from our company, Sak Mai Kok Sdn. Bhd. We got professional help from engineers from Hitler’s country to make this knife. Its lighter than the ordinary kitchen knife, sharper, and *pause* better lah. Hehehe”

The crowd “uuuuuu”-ed and “aaaaaa”-ed.

“Don’t worry one, my mama teach me not to lie, so trust me or my hairy mole will fall of right now. *pause* see, my mole don’t fall, so im not lying. Let me show you all how amazing this knife is ah,” the man continued.

He held a piece of paper and started cutting the paper into strips. He was like a human shredder.

“wow” said a woman in the crowd shaking her head in amazement.

The man continued his demonstration. He took a towel, rolled it up and placed it on the table. Then, slowly and smoothly, he sliced the rolled towel as if he was slicing a salmon. That got the crowd raising their eyebrows, and dropped the jaws of some.

“Hmm, I might use this to circumcise my victims, I mean patients, the next time around. I’d prolly be able to circumcise three faggots at once too,” said the man next to me as he stroked his goatee.

I wish the younger and uncircumcised generation the best of luck.

Time went by faster than I realized and the tournament was about to start, as it was announced through the PA system, or whatever you call it. I rushed to the place and played my first match against C-Mat.

And guess what,

I WON THE TOURNAMENT!!

How awesome would it be if I could actually say that. I lost in the knock out stage. Bummer. Losing is never fun.

and im done for now.

Najib

2009-01-11T11:06:00.003+08:00

I personally think this blog needs an update.
A proper one which excludes announcements and weird pictures i.e the 3 boob-ed girl =S

I am here to continue Najib's exciting and entertaining dreams.
Dreams that you people are missing and looking forward to.

The dream goes like this:

Izzat was in school sitting in the canteen. He was expecting all the other UICs are coming because it was break time. That was the time when 94.135609% of the UICs are present. He was patiently waiting expecting everyone will rush to the well-known tables. However, not a single UIC passed by. Every tables was filled with respective groups and batches. Izzat was disappointed and wanted to leave. When he was clearing the dirt off his butt, Najib came. Izzat's eyes lit with appreciation HAHA. Najib told Izzat that the UICs are leaving Izzat alone because UICs have to be bald to be UICs. Izzat who desperately wanted to be part of UIC went bald. He rubbed his clean head with vainness. He went to school ready to face his friends. When he reached school, he was shocked to his death when he found out everyone still have their hair.

The End.

HAHAHAHAHA nadawah.

This is the real one:

Title: A monkey's day in school

To make it realistic, i decided to name the monkey Ehsan =D.

Ehsan woke up with a big big smile because he had a feeling that school will be great. So, he looked into the mirror and admired his good looks for about 30 mins before deciding to go shower and get ready. After he showered, he was still in front of the mirror admiring every inch of his perfect appearance. He put on his ARMANI's perfume and headed to school. Because of his time wasting in front of the mirror, he had to have breakfast in the car. He asked his mum what will he be having that morning expecting Maki Californias or at least a Unagi Don for breakfast. His mum smiled showing her teeth and handed him a big yellow banana. Ehsan went wild because it was a better breakfast than he expected. He gobbled it up and burped as loud as a carhorn. The burp had caused the driver in front of his father's car to be angry. The driver stopped and stepped down the car stomping in rage.

He went cursing and scolding the family for a random car horn. Ehsan felt sorry for his parents because he was the culprit. He was late for school and got another lecture from the discipline teacher before receiving a green late slip. He went to the toilet to take a good look at himself in front of the mirror before showing up in class. While walking to class, he was controlling his macho and flicked his fringe occasionally to attract the juniors. He went into class and sat down putting his legs on the table like a real life superstar. The teacher was annoyed but couldnt not do anything about it. He raised his hands up everytime the teacher pointed out a question and answered it confidently. However, none of his answers are even near to correct. He just wanted to answer the questions himself not giving any chances to his classmates. This went on for 5 periods. Finally and fortunately, break arrived.

He then went to the canteen and bought his meal; a banana-flavoured milo and a banana rice katok. He brought them to the table and enjoyed it. Everytime he sipped a drink or munched on a scoop of rice, he brought out a mirror out checking if there is any stain on his lips or teeth. He got 5 tissue boxes prepared in his bag for any emergency. Therefore, he was really good in keeping his image as perfect as possible. It was then when he finished his meal, there were a group of people who were carring cameras setting up a site for some casting. They looked like they are making a drama.

One of them came by and asked Ehsan,'' By any chance your related to Irwasyah?'' Ehsan shaked his head but was flattered in heart. The guy then received a call and immediately his face turned gloom. However, he then smiled and told Ehsan that his main actor couldnt not come. They are shooting a movie named '' Twilampu '' and now have to find an urgent replacement. He told Ehsan he looks perfect for the role ;Edward Cullen. Ehsan was really flattered and agreed without any hesitation. Ehsan was like checking his looks already and spiked his hair up like how Robert Pattinson did in the movie. The director said he is looking fine and asked Ehsan not to be too nervous. Ehsan was happy and asked the director which scene are they shooting. The director told Ehsan with a strict voice, '' Whatelse can we be shooting? Did you know why we find you? We are supposed to shoot the scene when Edward is carrying Bella while climbing up the tree.Your the perfect guy for it. '' The director beamed with a huge smile while Ehsan broke down and cried. His day wasn't that great after all.

The End.

Hope you like it.
If u dont like, u can comment it on my own blog. Please dont spam this UIC tagboard. Thanks

K263.

P.S To the e306, that Ehsan in the story is not you. Dont be offended =D

2009-01-01T03:34:00.003+08:00

PERHATIAN!

Kata si muaz yg form5 taun 2009 ani boyfriend si khadijah yg kakanya si Afifah and adi si Adib yg bapanya bernama Othman. Detail dah tu. atu jua nda kamu paham. baik adang. daup plang krg.

Ahh..iatahkann..

ia menjemput para uic bermain futsal di Harun's Gym di bandar arah parking betingkat2.
membari watir tu tingkat2nya nda mau abis.
Hari jumaat tu. 2nd January 2009. or in numerical 02.01.2009
Pkul 4-6 pm.
datang ah bui.
sekali skala main belimbu. buring jua bepanas saja. mua si najib n baasit pn sudah putih mcm si bokh.
sayang jua kan di itamkan balik. wawawa XD
Bah datang ahh ramai2.

Katanya main futsal lawan team nya n cuzennya. team Nakey.
inda ku tau handal ka inda.
yg penting kitani main.
bawa baju lawa2 n kasut lawa2 ahh.
main dgn penuh begaya mcm kalau kamu kan ke gadong.
mun kalah mainan nda apa.
janji manang gaya.
wawawa XD

Ia ckp bawa saja usin $3 just in case. mun nda cukup ia mmbayar extra. ahh paham2 tah kamu tu. yg cikar atu paham ku tu. mana mau mmbayar tu. paham jua ku urg2 uic ani. p sebaik2nya bayar lah ah. apa jua ganya $3 main 2 jam. luan jua karit kamu atu. adangtah kan nyusahkan urg saja ani.

Ia ckp yg urg yg penting2.................. ahh paham2 lah kamu sapa yg penting2 atu. malas ku nyabut. lain jua krg rasa yg lain tu.

Yg pnting kamu datang lah saja ah.

Berazam tah sempena 2009 ani. adangtah badar. buntu kang parut. baiktah bawa bepaluh. nada itam mua ni main belimbu ani. mun itam jua aku mmbarus sampai putih. no worries. pembarus ku masih okay ni. makai umu trojan ku. dijamin putih mcm si bokh 100%. mun nya bedarah2 tahan saja. andangnya effect mutihkan muka ani awal2nya merah memerah. tahan saja sakit. wawawa XD

huhu. bah once again. datang. majal ku ni.

sign out,
i211.
gangster for lifee.

2008-12-28T23:38:00.009+08:00

Fat Troops alert!!!

When we say FLAPS our medulla oblongata reads the word and think about FatTroop.
When we say FATS our cerebrum reads the word and think about FatTroop.
When we say HUGE ASS our cerebellum reads the word and think about FatTroop.
When we say BLACK, eh, si najib tu. wawawa XD

Itu hanyalah anjakan paradigma tentang FatTroop.

Sekarang kita fokus our attention kepada salah seorang ahli FatTroop.
anda tahu siapaa?
Saya bagi satu clue. saya pasti anda tahu. rhyme tu youu. apakan.
Dalam fikiran anda, memang najib, saya gerenti.
asal FatTroop najib asal FatTroop najib asal najib Fattroop. wawawa XD

Tapi dis tym bukan najib yo.
aku sabut satu word saja tau tah kamu ni.

MOLE!!

nahh..tau kamuu kann..si najmi baa..yg taie lalatnya hantap basarnya kalah lubang idungku..hahaha..nadawah naj..main2 saja ba..kehati jua ehh..gagaga..

so..about this guy..ermm..he has a mole arah kirai nya sebalah kanan..yeah dats it. wawawa nadawah naj.

ani najmi..well..ani WAS najmi back then..when he was still my friend and inda betray aku join FatTroop. Shit! Motherfucker asshole banar. traitor.

Tu nah usulnya ahh senyum2. mihir.

As time passes by, najmi tahu that there's an organisation recruiting an army of fat people. It was led by none other than mr. super duper black fat najib. This organisation recruit fat people, experimented them, hospitalised them, feed them healthily and then barutah let them join the army. They has their way of turning the lamaks, to pure muscles. banyak procedure bui. jan nda caya. Najmi, realising he was fat, and wanted a change, decided to leave us and went to UK where the Headquarter of FatTroop is found. walaupun leadernya itam, tinggal di UK kaliahh si najib ahh. jan nda cayaa. hahaha..cali jua tu..ketawa bah..huhu.. anyway he went there quietly, no words, no khabar, i was left alone. all alone. i am completely alone. banar2 alone. banar2 brabis. bah adangtah. majal.

Najmi on the other hand, upon reaching UK, began his renovation. pictures of a new recruit of FatTroop began spreading around the world, and sadly i only found one picture of his. which made me tau yg najmi go UK joining this fucking FatTroop. Fuck you FatTroops. This is a picture of his.

bukan inda badar anak sorg ani. nyaman tdur nya. haha

2 years passes by. Bulu ketiak pun makin labat. penyukur pun nda sanggup nyukur. but still. there's no sign of najmi being alive. One day i went to a kadai shopping complex. skali. to my anxiety. eseh. nda pandai english, labih2 makai aku ah. hahaha. i mean to my surprise. there's this picture of a hot lookin renewed najmi in a calvin klein poster showing off his renewed and improved body sending warning that FatTroop's gonna conquer the world starting with the calvin klein company. gila. salute. Yes, he's hotter, taller and dangerous-er. beware. if seen call the police. Look how surprised i am. Jauh jua tu sama badanku. Daymn u son!

Daymn You Son! Watcha been doin?

Till then. Good luck Fucking FatTroops on ur quest to conquer the world.

btw englishku di atas ku antam2 saja tu ah. janji ngam n lawa bunyinya. mun ada yg salah diam2 saja. awu english kamu tah saja yg lawa. nampar wah.

sign out,
i211.
gangster for lifee.

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